Just been diagnosed today so scared

I am new to this forum and have been diagnosed today with breast cancer and i feel like my life has come to an end. I am 44 years old, married with 2 children, 12 and 11. To cut a long story short I went to a breast clinic for a routine check as my left breast has been quite sore for a while however a lump was detected by a mammogram in my right breast. I had a core biopsy done last week and today i was told that my lump measures approx 9mm and is grade 2, oestrogen positive. I am having a lumpectomy and lymph node sampling done tomorrow.
I am so scared, i carn’t stop crying keep thinking that this is the end. I don’t know how bad stage 2 is or any thing. I should have asked what type of cancer i have and what stage it is. I carn’t explain how scared i am right now.

Just wanted to send hugs. I remember that terrified feeling 3 years ago this month. I was diagnosed with a grade 3 (the most aggressive, grade 2 is not quite as bad) 21mm tumour which was hormone positive. I was 34 and my sons were 1 and 4. As others will say, once you get started on your treatment you will start to feel better emotionally. Just wanted to say that 3 years ago i never thought id see xmas, never mind be here still cancer free 3 years later. You have a very small lump and a grade 2, so really that is not a too bad result. Hormone positive is also a good thing as it means you can have tablets to prevent it coming back. All the best x

Hi babes just diagnosed on the 27th three days after my birthday!!! I actually laughed as sad as it may sound. Anyway mine is 4cm by 5cm and has spread to my lymph nodes. Long and short the breast has to go!!! I love my family and friends and I think my biggest fear was leaving telling them. Now that they all no I am cool. I have my appointment tomorrow to discuss reconstructive surgery and also my chemotherapy. I know I have a huge mountain to climb but I am ready for that journey. Babes be positive as the way I see it my hands are tied so there’s not much I can do x

Hi - Sorry you have to join our exclusive club.

We all feel this way when we are told of the dx. You will be able to take control again when your treatment plan takes shape. Waiting is the worst - we always seem to be waiting for operations, results, treatment, and the days seem to go so slow.

I was dx a Grade 3 lump, hormone positive without any lymph node involvement in August and am going through the chemo and need Rads afterwards.

I also have children although teenagers and they do show how much they care and have done so much for me - even being there for a cuddle - unheard of for teenagers!! - but I could not have got through this without them.

We will all be here for support when you are feeling down or if you are celebrating an event. Please shout.

Big hugs to you and all the best tomorrow.
Janette xx

Hi Beardie,

Welcome, so sorry you have a reason to join us here but rest assured you will get lots of support and advice.

I am 34 with an 18month old girl and I was diagnosed with a grade 3 cancer,my cancer was 10mm, im also HER positive and ER positive, ive had a lumpectomy and all my lymph nodes removed and had 2/22 lymph nodes affected, im due to have chemo, rads, herceptin and tamoxifen.
I totally understand how you feel it is so scary but you need to think that you found it and the medical team will do everything to get rid of it, the operation is not to bad atall.
Keep positive and keep posting on here because there is alot of people on here in the same situation that can give you great support and advice, this site has certainly helped me to feel better about it all!!

Keep smiling : )

Best wishes

Donna xxx

hi there, im so sorry to read your story and i can totally understand how you feel, i went to the doctors for the flu and whilst i was there i asked her just to have a look at my ‘lump’ that was on a friday the following wednesday i had a biopsy and scans and the following day (23th dec)i was told i had grade 2 bc, on the 12th jan i had SNB and WLE, its soo soo hard to come to terms with, ive cried like ive never cried before and thoughts that i never want to speak about BUT on thursday im starting my road to recovery, im starting chemo and even though ive had my bad days ive never thought id be thinking like i am now…
please take one day at a time try not to think too much ahead, and take care of yourself, this forum is fantastic and has helped me soo much
jump on board anytime there is always someone to talk to
love and hugs
Donna x

Hi Beardie, so sorry to hear your news. I too had a grade 2, oestragen positive and the lump itself was 16mm. I had a lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy 4 days following diagnosis in June last year. As lolly states - it is easier to deal with when you are actually dealing with it. Remember after your operation to do the exercises as they really do help. I received my results from sentinal node biopsy 1 week after surgery and was very lucky (hence my user name) as no spread in the 4 nodes examined. Due to this I did not require chemo and received 5 weeks of radiotherapy. You can ask any questions on this forum as your treatment progresses.

I’m sorry you are feeling the way you are as I do remember feeling totally ovderwhelmed by it, but you can and will get through it and deal with it - you’ve no option! Just try to take each day at a time and look after yourself during your recovery. Remember it’s ok to feel scared - being told you have cancer is the single most devastating news you can hear about your health.

I am now back at work full time and slowly regaining my life back. I’m a little older than you (50) so if I can get through it - so can you. You’ll gain lots of strength from your family - they are young but I honestly feel it is best to be open and honest with them as they are probably thinking of the worst and they too will be scared.

Good luck for tomorrow and keep you chin up xx

The first few days after diagnosis are always the worst as your thoughts go into overdrive and you question your own mortality. However, you should be grateful that it has been detected early and you have every chance of fighting it off. Take whatever treatment they offer you and be sure that you will find all the help and support you need from people on this site.
Good luck and although its easier said than done, try not to worry too much.

Oh beardie, sorry for your dx - know exactly where your head is right now (my dx on NYE followed by WLE & SNB on 11th Jan). Like Lolly, mine was Grade 3, 14mm and invasive but ER & PR neg - which means I’ve got to have chemo because hormone treatment won’t be any good to me.

You’re bound to feel devastated and scared (you REALLY don’t need to explain how much) but if your op tomorrow is anything like mine (and others you’ll see on this forum) you’ll wonder what all the worry was about. I don’t mean that in a flippant way - not needing an op in the 1st place would be any sane person’s obvious choice but now that it’s been found … get the bugger out and you can then concentrate on getting your sanity back. I know that this will be very little comfort right now, but getting your dx today and op tomorrow is brilliant - I had nearly 2 weeks to sit & wait & think - it was a real bummer.
Please accept cyber hugs & very best wishes - I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. xxxxxx Chris xxxxxx

Hi Beardie,
Firstly have a huge (((hug))) from me.
Welcome to the forum no-one wants to have to visit, however there are lots of fantastic supportive people on here, who I would normally have never met, who will help to allay your fears and provide loads of practical advice.

I was dx a grade3 lump, hormone positive but with no lymph node involvement in December. I’ve had WLE, SNB and a therapeutic reduction on the other side! I’m now recovering from the surgery very well and start Chemotherapy on Feb 10th. This is because my tumour was grade 3 - aggressive and they couldn’t rule out vascular involvement. You may well not have to have this as you are currently grade 2.

When you are given dx it is scary but we will support you and have you in our thoughts tomorrow.

Remember this - rest & ask friends for help and I’m sure they’ll give it willingly.

Lots of love

Helen xx

Best wishes for tomorrow, Beardie.

I was frightened before my surgery, which was the same as yours, but looking back it wasn’t too bad and I was just glad to get the offending lump out of my body. Once you get the results and know what treatment you’ll have, I’m sure you’ll cope very well.

Hi Beardie,
I was diagnosed one year ago today… 1st of Feb burned into my brain. I just wanted to say that as frightening as it is now, you will get through it… as one clever lady on this site said, ‘this too will pass’
I can hardly believe that a year has passed, but I am well, healthy and looking forward. The children are unaffected.
My best advice is to take each day as it comes, be kind to yourself and use this forum for all the wonderful support that is here.
Wishing you a fast and easy year

Thank u for getting back to me so quickly. Still so very scared, carn’t seem to see a future just yet-so devastated. I will get back to after my op as I think I need the support as I don’t know anyone with BC. Once again thank you for taking the time to reply.

Scared is normal. Tomorrow though is the beginning of your road to recovery. You can, and will, find the strength to cope with your fears, and given time they will lessen.

Hugs for tomorrow.


Beardie, for the moment you’re just thinking about getting through the op, so don’t try to look for a future. The diagnosis of cancer has just exploded a bomb in your life (we know, it’s happened to all of us too) so just hang in there and let the dust settle a little, then you can try to picture what the future holds for you.

A couple of suggestions -

Don’t google indiscriminately, there’s a lot out there that won’t apply to you and you could end up terrifying yourself.

Don’t try to be brave with pain after your op. If it hurts, take some painkillers.

DO cut yourself some slack. The blame game’s a mug’s game so don’t go dissecting your life looking to see what YOU did to cause it. That’s a completely pointless and very draining exercise. The thing to concentrate on now is dealing with what you’ve got to deal with.

Accept help that is offered, and sometimes it will be offered when you don’t actually NEED help, but it can be a nice way to help the offerer because they want to do something for you (and may have the added bonus that someone cooks you a nice tea or picks the kids up for you).

ALLOW yourself to cry, complain, whinge and generally feel miserable. Let it all hang out. Best done among people who really understand so you can do all of that on this site as we ALL know what it’s like. You might find you don’t get such a sympathetic response in real life as it’s a tough thing for others to get their heads round if they haven’t been there, so offload on here, it’s amazingly therapeutic.

And have a huge hug from me, and I’m sure from everyone else on here. It totally sucks, but you’ll feel much better once you have the full picture and know what your treatment regime holds for you, however crappy the regime might be.


Hi there
CM has said everything, the only thing I can add is lots of cyber hugs, there will be bad days, there will be better days, and you will have good days (hard to believe I know) , go with the flow, we are here and we know all about them!

Take care and be kind to yourself, you deserve it!

SJ x x

(Yeah, that CM’s really gobby, isn’t she, SJ! :wink: )

Beardie, I have everything crossed for you today (it makes walking a bit awkward but hey…) and we’ll be with you in the waiting room while you hang around for further test results. The waiting seriously sucks, so we’ll be here to hold your hand.