I have been diagnosed with Grade 3 breast cancer and feel so anxious. There is no history of it in my family. The lump seem to appear almost overnight and I went to the doctors immediately who sent me for a MMR and ultrasound. I was then given a core biopsy and got the results yesterday. I suffer from panic attacks and when the consultant said that it was Grade 3 and ‘aggressive’ I worked myself up into such a state. The lumpdectomy is booked for the 13th July and then I will have to have chemo and radiotherapy. When they did the ultrasound they checked under my armpit and said the lymph nodes seemed clear but I have aches and pains in various places which I have had for a while now so I am convinced it has spread. I have two children 11 and 8 and can’t bear the thought that I might leave them. The waiting and the fear is unbearable.
Hello KallyCat
I’m so sorry you find your self here. I was dx a year ago, 26/6/09, with grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma and DCIS. Treatments haven;t been great but have been doable and I’m really well today.
You’re in the worst time now, the waiting is horrid ( I really hate the waiting!)but hang on and try to keep calm (easier said I know) in 11 days the nasty nasty will be sitting in a petri dish!! Once you know what you’re dealing with and what you’re action plan is going to be then believe me a feeling of control, and an amount of calm, comes back.
I hardly slept when I was first dx and found the support on this site invaluable, I also played lots of mind numbing games on facebook to stop things going around in my head!! Don’t be scared by yourself, ask what ever you want and share your worries, it will help and we’re all here for you.
I have a 7 year old and a 20 year old and they have dealt with it all really well and yes it scares me too that I might not be here forever for them but it also gives me the determination to do everything I can to make sure I’m around aslong as I can be.
Hold on in there, try to stop and take deep breaths, don’t be alone.
Big ((((hug)))), remember ask what ever you want. Knowledge is power in my opinion.
Take care
Katie x
Hi Kallykat,
What you are feeling is what we all feel when we are diagnosed. I have never suffered from panic attacks, but when l was first diagnosed, l suddenly changed from a confident person, into this person that could no longer cope with anything.
The day l was diagnosed, l remember thinking this is it, l am going to die! but it is a very natural thought, every horrid emotion takes over your body.
My ‘children’ are grown men, but l have so much to live for, as we all do. There are lots of younger women on here with young children. They will be along to give you lots of support soon, You will get so much support from this forum, any questions ask away, and someone will be along. There are lots of ladies with grade 3 and more!
Since being diagnosed l have had aches and pains everywhere! it really is just stress! As for having aches and pains before you were diagnosed, just think how many times you have had an ache but just ignored it because you were well! but now you have been diagnosed with breast cancer, every ache and pain will be put down to breast cancer, but it is just aches and pains that we all get from time to time.
Sounds like your lymph nodes are clear, so that is good, but even if they had cancer in them does not mean it has spread!
It is good you have your lumpectomy booked. Perhaps you could get something from your doctor to help you cope with the stress until you have had the results, and you know what care plan they will give you!
The helpline here is very good, why not give them a ring the number is above, you can talk your worries over with them, they are very good and will answer all your worries.
For now, take care and try to stay calm, and if you can’t, then speak to your doctor.
Love
Sandra xxx
Hi Kally cat
So sorry you have found yourself in this situation. The first stages are scary, waiting for results and a treatment plan. I just went into shock at the beginning. Things do become more clear as you go along and you will have as much support as you need on here, there is always someone to offer you some kind reassuring words. I think it is all our fear of the cancer spreading and aches and pains tend to take on a new meaning. Try to listen to your hospital team, if they are reassuring you and being positive. I was convinced the of worst when waiting for my results but it wasn’t the worst case i had imagined. It is hard the waiting i think everyone on hear says it is the hardest part. Hang in there and please keep in touch and let me know how you get on.
Sending you lots of love and best wishes.
Jayne xxxx
Hi kallycat
Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums, I hope you will find them a great source of support and information.
As well as the support from the other users you may find the BCC resources pack useful. It has been designed for those newly diagnosed and has information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If you would like a copy just follow this link:-
BCC also have a helpline where you can talk things through with a trained member of staff. The number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm and Saturday 9 to 2pm.
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes
Sam, BCC Facilitator
Hi Kallycat
I to had grade 3 IDC and I had a WLE and then 7 lymph nodes removed which were clear. I am having my 5th chemo this morning, I have found it not to bad the worst thing is the tiredness and bad nausea but I can cope with that.
After chemo no 6 I have 3 weeks rest then 20 rads, I have been told this is not as bad as the chemo. I know the waiting is horrible but once they put your plan in action it gets easier. you can always find lots of support and help on this forum.
If i can help you in any way please contact me or send me a private message.
Love Anne xx
Hi Kallykat,
So sorry that you find yourself here, but this is a wonderful group of ladies and you will get lots of support. You have joined early too - I tried to cope on my own for months and it really just meant I bottled everything up.
The only thing I would add to what the others have said is that I see that you posted in the early hours of the morning so you obviously didn’t get a good night’s sleep. When I was first dx, I found myself awake for hours in the night and surfing the internet and making myself even more worried. My GP’s attitude was ‘we’ll put a stop to that right now!’ and he prescribed sleeping tablets to get me over those first few weeks. Getting a good night’s sleep is really important to build up strength for what is to come and to help you cope with things during the day. Also, things always seem ten times more frightening in the middle of the night when there is no-one else to talk to. So go and see your doctor and ask for help. Also, don’t forget to apply for your prescription exemption card.
Take heart from all the good stories on these forums. Do call the BCC helpline if you need to talk and don’t feel you can burden your loved ones.
Big hugs to you!
E xx
Hi Kallycat
I cant really add much more to what the wonderful ladies here have already said. I also had grade 3 and in one lymph node. This was last year and I finished treatment in April. It is tuff but doable and this stage you are in now, which is by far the worst, will pass. This site is great for when you want to let off steam or want advice. I also called the Helpline and they matched me up with someone of similar age and diagnosis, who had been clear for 10 years. It was great to chat to her on the phone.
Take care
Julia xx
Thank you so much for all your kind words. It has been a great source of comfort. I’ve been to see the doctor for something to help with sleeping and I hope to go and see my son’s school play tonight … if I feel up to it.
Love and best wishes to you all. It is so comforting to know that there are so many caring people out there.
Hi Kallycat
I had Grade 3 and lymph node involvement… and that was 6 years ago. Following my treatment I have been fine ever since. There are lots more long term survivors on the forum, but we only log in occasionally. Probably you will hear from some more over the next few weeks
best wishes
Sarah
Hi Kallycat,
Like Sarah I was also grade three with lymph node involvement - that was three years ago and I’m fine. There are lots of us who are fine.
Best wishes
x
hi kallykat
sorry you are having such a horrible time, the shock of first diagnosis is horrific, and it is shock and it does pass into a gentler stage once you have your results and a treatment plan. You will probably need chemo if its a grade 3, mine was as well, Chemo is shitty but perfectly doable. The operation is also doable, and to be honest i can’t really remember too much about mine even though its only been just over 3 months! I have two boys, 2 and 5, and have coped well. My advice would be to take care of yourself, don’t read too far ahead and accept help where it is offered. You have been hit by a huge truck and will need time to get throuygh it,
big hugs
Vickie
xxxx
Hi kelly Kat,
So sorry for your diagnisos but this forum is really good to sound off on with so many of us in the same situation. I was where you are in Febuary and yes it was sureal. The waiting is the worse but once in the cycle of treatment it becomes better.Am half way through my chemo so I know I’m still at the begining. All the advice you have had in the responses I agree with
Keep in touch
all my thoughts with you
techo
Hi Kelly Kat
I had my diagnosis yesterday and have my lum,pectomy booked for 23rd July. I was a mess when the doctor confirmed what I already suspected, I had my 2 sisters and one of my daughters with me in the consulting room, I don’t think I could have coped on my own. I think friends and family are going to be a great help to me. Massybe we can compare notes as we seem to be the newest members on here.
Try to keep positive ( Easy words I know, but it does help)
Healing Hugs
Annie
Hi Annie and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the valuable support you will receive here from your fellow users you may find some of our publications useful to read to help you to understand more about your diagnosis and possible treatments. I have posted some links below where you can read or order these online:
Also, you are very welcome to call our helpline for further support and information, the number to call is 0808 800 6000 weekdays 905 and Sat 9-2.
Hope this helps
Take care
Lucy
Hi Kellykat and Annie,
sorry to hear you are both joining us, it’s not long since members here were sending me that message (March), I’m grade 3 with 3 lymph nodes involved AND (because I was greedy and got it in both boobs which knocked me for 6 as I only suspected one side was problematic and even then I didn’t think it was the big ‘c’ because I felt fine)the other side grade 2 with no lymph nodes involved. I had 2 lumpectomies and node clearance on the affected side and have just had 2nd of 6 chemo treatments.
The beginning is definately the worst, you are in shock, you feel bad to put your family through this and you worry about them rather than yourself and you have no idea where this ‘adventure’ is going to take you…as time goes by and tests are done, results come in and you and the doc get a better picture of what is happening in your body.only then can you get your head round it all a bit but then at least you know whats going on.
My advice to you is this…take care of yourself, laugh every day (even if you don’t always want to), cry if you need to, stay strong and build yourself up to give yourself a good recovery rate after the op, the nurses laughed at me cos I told them I don’t do poorly and I didn’t…do try to stay positive as that is what fights this horrid thing and visit us here to let us know how you are and share your ups and downs…
hugs for you Suze xx