Just been told its triple negative today.... im in dispair


It 1.30am, and im awake, and by brain is in overdrive!

Having been informed i have Cancer following a biopsy on a shadow found on a routine mammogram, although luckily i was called 8 months early for the mammogram, which might just save me!

the nurse seemed to play it down, and didnt give details, i was on holiday at the time and i suspect this is why i didnt get told the full picture…

Earlier this evening, the nurse called me, and explained that the biopsy has returned as tnbc, grade 3, i have an MRI on monday, that im praying is ok (no sign of spread to lymph nodes on ultra sound) ,she did tell my my breast tissue is quiet dense, so they are checking for size etc, as this dense tissue can make the ultra sound less accurate.

i am 55, and type 2 diabetic, my biggest sin in my life is being a bit fat!!! 

yet cancer will not leave my family alone

My brother died from Leaukemia at 18, my darling sister had a brain tumour at 53 and died, my dad had kidney cancer (hes ok now) and my son had sarcoma at 17 years old.(hes ok now too ) … i cant stop thinking why us again…

I am terrified getting this info today, as i know this type is aggressive.

I am terrified of chemotherapy , having nursed my son and my dad through it.

Im in dispair .

I need to get positive… i dont know how though

Hello again @Bambam06  

I’m so sorry you’ve had this news and you’ve found yourself wide awake in the middle of the night with all these racing thoughts. 
Understandably having had such close family members with different cancers and treatments mean you are all too well aware of what this horrible disease does in all its forms. 
Notwithstanding what you have experienced that doesn’t in any way change the impact this has on YOU: I don’t think anyone truly understands what it is like to be told you have cancer until it happens to them. Everyone of us is unique as are our cancers and treatments, but we are all forever grateful for those who went before us and what we have learned and the treatments that have been developed. 
There are no rules for being a cancer patient: the idea that you “must be positive” or “you’ve got to be strong” is just nonsense, all you can be is you, please allow yourself to cry shout scream do whatever you want to do. 
The breast cancer world is here for you both online and in real life, there is so much support out there if you need or want it 

Sending you lots of hugs  

AM xxx

Hello lovely,

I’m so sorry you’ve joined this rubbish club.

I am over half way through my treatment for TNBC, age 47, diagnosed last September. Like you, I was terrified and in a state of shock for a good while.

The time between diagnosis and starting treatment is the worst, lots of unknowns, waiting for tests/results & getting your head round the news, but I think once treatment starts you will feel a bit calmer. As I understand it, treatment for chemo side effects have changed massively over the years, and there are a whole range of drugs to deal with the nausea etc. As you’ll know from your families experience, it’s not a fun time but hopefully you’ll find it is “do-able”.  Make sure you tell your team about how you’re feeling & they can help, don’t just suffer because you think that’s just how it is on chemo.

The other thing I was told is Do Not Google. TN historically had less available treatments, and Google results do not reflect where we are today. If you have questions, ask the team here, on the forums or your BCN.

In terms of treatments, these are tailored very specifically to the individual, however I would ask about immuntherapy - Pembrolizumab - approved last year, and one of the newest drugs for TN. 

Also, given your family history - maybe ask about genetic testing. I think it’s usually done if you’re diagnosed with TN and under 50, however I would ask because TN can often occur in people with a BRCA gene mutation.

This is a rotten time, and I understand how you’re feeling. Don’t pressure yourself by thinking you need to get positive, I know some people swear that their positive attitude has got them through. Personally, I’ve struggled with being positive, I think I’ve been more bloody minded and dealt with each day, or hour or even minute as it comes.

I’m still in treatment, with chemo and surgery done and radiotherapy and more immuntherapy to come, but so far my oncologist is really happy with how things are going & I’m trying to follow his lead!

Wishing you loads of love for the next few weeks while you get things sorted. Be gentle with yourself xxx

This is my first time posting here. I was diagnoses with DCIS trile negative grade 3 in July. I had a lumpectomy and two lymph nodes removed. the lymph nodes were clear. The lump was bigger than average but with only pre cancerous cells in it. The cancer had been removed in the biopsy strangely enough, so it was very early. I had my surgery in London, but have chosen to have radiotherapy in Portugal where I live. I am 58 and retired there for nine months of the year. I’ve just finshed my first week of radiotherapy which has been fine. A bit tired at times but thats ok. Although I’m 58, I chose to have genetic testing done. I only k ow my mums side of the family and no cancer there, but I want to be sure it not genetic as i have two daughters. I await the results. I sometimes cant believe that `I have this disease. I wonder why me? and I suppose the answer is Why not? I have friends here that are very good to me, but the only realm comfort I get is in talking to fellow cancer survivors. Although I’m in a beautiful part of the world, and so grateful, I feel isolated at times with my thoughts about cancer. I dont know anyone here in the Algarve that has had it, so Im hoping to connect to an online community that can support me and share strength, hope and experience, in whatever form that is. Look forward to connection. x

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I’ve been looking for someone whose been diagnosed with TNBC and is a bit older. I’m 60, and can’t get my head round why I’ve got the young womans BC.
Awaiting lumpectomy for 2 small triple neg grade 3 tumours. No decision for chemo/radio yet. Petrified and can’t sleep

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