Just diagnosed extensive bc mets bones & liver

Diagnosed with breast cancer Recently diagnosed with breast cancer
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Hi I’m 53, been diagnosed extensive bc mets to bones & liver. Diagnosis 3 weeks ago, 4 years on from original bc. HER2+ Stage 3, right breast mast.+recon(diep). Have had debilitating back pain for last 6 months - Doc eventually referred me for scans. Been non stop hosp appointments and phonecalls (due to Covid lot of info been given to me over the phone) so I only saw my scans yesterday with orthopedic specialist - they want to operate on left femur). Next week 5 sessions of radio to 2 spots (shoulder & hip) started on Let. already, Pal.+bone strengthening drug to follow week after. Pain has been level 10+ for weeks, they are finally getting a pain specialist from the local hospice to work with me. They’ve had 3 different oncologists speak to me - I’ve found them all cold & patronising. Today I was at radio planning & onc kept saying “you are going to die from this” & to majority of my questions “v good question but I don’t think it’s helpful to discuss now”. The mets are extensive in my spine, plus skull plus sternum. Told prognosis by oncs “1-2” “3-4” & today “3 months to 10 years”. I feel I can’t take it anymore. I’m completely shattered. I’m freelance so will prob lose my work. I feel a “number” with these consultants. I’m not an idiot & I don’t know why oncs are so cold. Already I’ve had friends say “I don’t know what to say” & then rush off the phone. It’s all been so fast. I live alone - keep thinking about a painful death because the pain has been so bad.

Best wishes, AlisonMac

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AlisonMac Sorry to hear you have been treated like this by your team. Please do ring the number on hear and speak to a nurse, also the someone like me option too will help. Another source of support you can look into is metupuk As a lot of us know friends can do the beam me up Scottie manoeuvre, remember it’s not you it’s them, they really don’t know what to say, or how to be with you. But you are still you and will always be you Others will be along with care love support and :two_women_holding_hands: On the thread :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :sparkles: :sparkles: Shi xx

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I am so sorry you are in this horrible situation and your oncology team has proved to be so cold and unhelpful.   The pain team should be able to help you with your pain levels.  GPs and oncologists are not pain experts.  I have spinal mets and was in a lot of pain but the specialist pain team sorted my meds out and it turned out I was not taking them at the right time or in the right amount.  After diagnosis all the endless appointments and scans are very overwhelming but it does settle down.   Now I am going to the hospital once a month for treatment and I manage a pretty normal life.   Please don’t worry about a painful death.   Pain can be controlled but it is so depressing and exhausting while you are experiencing it.  There is light at the end of the tunnel xx