Hi to everyone. I am 68 yrs old new to this site, my husband walked out of the consulting room and just left me - I was upset at the news he said he cant bear to see me upset plus he has lost 4 members of his closest family in hospital, he cant cope with hospitals/illness/needles etc he has a genuine phobia, I dont feel he is my “rock” for this, even though he says I can talk to him he doesnt ask! I feel I am trapped with everything inside of me going round and round. I am so confused.
I attended my regular mamogrames,shocked to be recalled, had calcifcations, have had biopsy. The waiting has been awful, unbearable but all happened over 2 weeks from 2nd mammogram its all like a dream.
Specialist said “i am afraid it is a cancer!!” I felt my stomach drop to the floor and I went sort of numb I thought I was going to walk out of there ok- think positive they say, well I got a negative!
Worst day of my life Wed 10th June Specialist gave me results/admit me on Mon15th June for Wide Local Excision of cancer and Breast Sentinel Node Biopsy, he did say I will have Radiotherapy but may not need Chaemotherapy- its all been so fast The BCN gave me all sorts of leaflets/instructions/file -so much reading- and after trying to read it hasnt sunk in! I have fuzz brain!!
I am so scared of the surgery and what I will feel like/sore etc., He said Radiotherapy has no side effects?? but reading a few comments and peoples progress through this site it is telling me different. What is it like I need someone to be honest even though I will still be anxious I have no choice.
I know the BCN said phone anytime at all - I dont know how I am supposed to react to this one minute I am talking about it and reading but then I fill up and have a weep (on my own) it comes from nowhere.
I have two grown children (38 and 49) and two grandchildren (26 and 19months) I have told my children they seemed ok about it but are they?
I am registered Sight Impaired have had a CABG/Stents and Total Knee Replacement and my Daughter is my Carer she has been there for me every step of the way (my husband still works) we are together every day she is my best friend and she doesnt show too much emotion she is on her own so has no-one to share this with she must be thinking allsorts, like me "I have cancer they never get it I am going to die with this I always thought it would be my heart that took me away- god I am so paniky. I am scared for Monday I dont want to go in.
Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support. I’m sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few days and weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with things and getting to grips with your treatment plans, etc.
As well as the support you receive on the forums you might find it helpful to order the BCC resources pack. It has been specifically designed for those newly diagnosed and contains information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If you would like to order a copy just follow the link bellow:-
Also, you may find it helpline to things through with a member of staff on our helpline. They are there to offer a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. The number is 0808 800 6000. and lines are open today from a0 to 2pm and weekdays 9 to 5pm.
Hi Amberstone, Firstly you have come to the right place. Its exactly a year to the day I received my diagnosis and without this forum I dont know how I would have got through the last year. Like you I had regular mammograms and although it was a shock I felt numb. There are no right and wrong ways to feel or deal with what you are going through. If you want to cry have a cry always best to let it out. I think one of the best pieces of advice I was given is to take one day at a time. It is a rollercoaster and you will experience a whole gambit of emotions. Try not to think too far forward. Have your surgery on Monday you will be looked after and will get pain relief. There is lots of good advice here for anything your worried about but remember everyone is different so your experience will often be different to someone else. Sometimes its easier to post here how you feel I found that sometimes family cant support you or you are afraid to tell them how you feel, here we can be totally honest and vent your feeings. You will have ups and downs just roll with it. The forum also supports carers and family members so your daughter can also get support if she needs it. Hope all goes well for you on Monday gentle hugs Xx
Firstly you have come to the right place. Its exactly a year to the day I received my diagnosis and without this forum I dont know how I would have got through the last year. Like you I had regular mammograms and although it was a shock I felt numb. There are no right and wrong ways to feel or deal with what you are going through. If you want to cry have a cry always best to let it out. I think one of the best pieces of advice I was given is to take one day at a time. It is a rollercoaster and you will experience a whole gambit of emotions. Try not to think too far forward. Have your surgery on Monday you will be looked after and will get pain relief. There is lots of good advice here for anything your worried about but remember everyone is different so your experience will often be different to someone else. Sometimes its easier to post here how you feel I found that sometimes family cant support you or you are afraid to tell them how you feel, here we can be totally honest and vent your feeings. You will have ups and downs just roll with it. The forum also supports carers and family members so your daughter can also get support if she needs it . Hope all goes well for you on Monday gentle hugs Xx
Hi and welcome! I know how you are feeling. I have been positive throughout my diagnosis and treatment but do have the urge to scream and cry at any given moment! I am 47 and was diagnosed after having my first mammogram. I had a wle (wide local excision) and sentinel node biopsy on 11th May. I came home the same day - it’s not as bad as I expected it to be. Just make sure you listen to your body and rest when you need to. I felt really exhausted for two weeks but I think that’s the general anaesthetic - it effects everyone differently. I have gone back to work for a few half days but still find I get tired if overdo it. You need to remember our bodies need time to heal on the inside even if they look ok on the outside! My wound has healed really well, I was lucky my tumour was only 12mm grade 2 and er positive with no spread to lymph nodes. I have now started taking tamoxifen and am waiting for radiotherapy appointments - I have to have more than I was originally told but I want to give myself the best chance of a long as life as possible! I have two children who have dealt with it ok - I have just told them what I am having done at each stage and told them to ask me any questions they may have. My daughter is 16 and son is 20. This happened right in the middle of my daughters GCSEs as well so not the best time! My husband has found it really hard to cope with too - I think men aren’t as strong emotionally. I am lucky I have lots of friends who are really supportive but sometimes you just need to talk to someone who knows what you are going through. I have found this forum to be brilliant for finding out about treatment or just to let off some steam! The worst part about all of this is waiting for results - my only advice would be to keep yourself occupied! Good luck with your op and results - once you get those you will get a treatment plan.
I had a sentinel node biopsy, wire location and WLE on 3 June and was home next day feeling a bit sore but apart from that ok. I didn’t have any morphine after op and stuck with paracetamol as I don’t like the stronger tabs. I am feeling physically fine and my arm movement is good. Stitches were taken out yesterday and all looks good. Not sure if anyone has recommended but I bought some soft sports bras to wear for afterwards - M&S do 2 for £12 or Asda have a big range 2 for £7 and also some soft bras that don’t do up at the back to sleep in - I found some on Amazon 3 for £10 but again Asda do a good selection of these. If I can think of anything else I’ll let you know and good luck for the -15th - it will be ok.
Its difficult to get your head around everything at once - filter little bits in at a time. I found speaking to the lovely ladies here an enormous help. They can understand better than friends and family can.
I had a very quick passage through, I was called back after my very first screening, had an ultrasound and biopsy on 11.05.15, got my diagnosis on 14.05.15, which was an invasive mucinous carcinoma, very rare! trust me! and the surgery on 25.05.15! I had very little time to prepare which was probably a blessing when I look back. I went into hosp at 7.30am, I had the sentinal node imaging ( the blue radioactive tracer) done at 8am, back to the ward for a short wait, taken up for op at 10.30am (same as yours) and was back on the ward at 2.30pm. Slept, took all the morpine they would give me and walked out, albeit a bit wobbly at 7.30pm.
You can stay in if you want to but I decided as all was ok, I would prefer my own bed. I have seen the bcnurse this week and the margins were clear, three nodes removed and now wating to have radiotherapy and tamoxifen.
The discomfort is not too bad, easily controlled by painkillers, I still feel tired and need a wee rest but have done as much exercise as my body will allow as I think it is helping me now and for the upcoming treatment
Don’t worry too much and keep chatting to folk here, it’s amazing the amount of support here and in a little bit you will be doing the same
I found soft bras from asda very good still wearing them as normal bras rub the underside of my breast which is where my lump was. You just pull them up over your body rather than having to lift arms. Button up front baggy shirts were realy comfy. I had a shower day after op just tried to keep site out of the water and used a facecloth to freshen up. Didn’t bother drying my hair my son did offer to have a go haha. Email or cal your bc nurse thats why we’re allocated one, she will be a great help
Hi Amberstone
Sorry I didn’t reply sooner but went out for the day with family and didn’t see your post till now. Good luck for tomorrow and I’ll be thinking of you - let us know how you get on x
Well done amber, that’s one thing out of the way, be gentle with yourself and take the painkillers luv, hopefully you will get a few, more hours sleep tonight. I’m still only getting around 4 hours but take a snooze in the afternoon xx
Hi Amberstone
Glad to hear everything went well and that you are back home. I tried to take it easy after op and I think if you just listen to your body and rest and sleep when you feel you need to, then you recover quicker. I know we women try to do everything for everyone but sometimes we just have to look after ourselves and having this diagnosis is certainly one of those times! After my op I couldn’t do without my Kalms nighttime and they really helped me sleep - and my OH! They are a herbal remedy that you can buy from any chemist, but I’ve heard they don’t work for everyone and not sure about taking if you are on any other regular medication, but they helped me sleep through most of the night.
Grade 2 is good and I think it’s the most common but they will let you have further results as to what type of cancer I,e, whether it’s oestrogen/progesterone positive HER2, what stage it is etc so that they can work out the best treatment plan for you. I didn’t realise there were so many different types of breast cancer - I’m learning new things every day and this site is invaluable. Even if I don’t post, I can read other threads for tips and gather info so that I can ask the oncologist when I see him, which I believe will be soon.
I’m back off to work tomorrow - fist time since op - as they will let me come and go as I please which is good because I can keep some kind of normality going and see my work friends. I work part time anyway but don’t plan on doing a full day.
Hope you have a good nights rest tonight. Take care. Carole x
I just had old fashioned flannel wash for a few days and didn’t give a stuff about my hair. Eventually got a friend to wash it for me with the shower head then left to dry
Hi sheena
Yeh I’ll try not to - they have all been really good and it’s my birthday tomorrow so will certainly take it easy. I also did the same with flannel washes and when I felt up to it I sat in a shallow bath, but that first shower when the dressings came off was soooo good! Xx