So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I was diagnosed in July this year at the age of 47 and my mammogram showed a tumour measuring 2.5cm. They were concerned about 2 other areas and a biopsy revealed 2 other tumours measuring 1.5cm and 0.7cm. I had a mastectomy just over a week later withn a sentinel node biopsy that showed traces of cancer cells. This was then followed up by full axillary node clearance which thankfully showed no further spread.
It was scary but I was just grateful to get the tumours out of me and so psycologically I was relieved when it was all over and done with. It wasn’t too uncomfortable to be honest, the inconvenience of the drain was probably the worst factor for a few days followed by some cording down my arm. I think its really important to do the exercises they suggest after surgery. Its hard work at first but definitely worth the effort.
I’m sorry to hear your husband doesn’t realise how much you need his support throughout this ordeal. Perhaps he is scared and this is his way of dealing with it. Can you try to talk to him and tell how much you need him to be there for you. I know I could not have got through my situation without my husband at my side. I know he has been scared too and it broke my heart when I found him crying one day.
If you want to add me as a contact I will be more than happy to be a friend when you feel the need to chat or just offload your worries.
Wishing you all the very best for Tuesday, Take care Gill xx
Hi mumx5inuk,
I was diagonosed with DCIS and had the op a couple of weeks ago. Went back for my results on Friday to be told that they had discovered an unrelated IBC in the ‘healthy’ margins and so am having to go back in a fortnight for another WLE and sentinel node biopsy/ full axillary node clearance this time. Am not looking forward to it as still swollen from lst time, but at least they found it. I don’t have any support at home because I am divorced. There is only so much you can ask your friends to do. I told my breast care nurse how I felt (well, cried on her shoulder!) and now she writes everything down at every appointmentto make sure that I have understood/remembered. She also gives me a cup of tea and talks to me afterwards too so I don’t go home to an empty house straight away. She phones me the next day to check on me. She has organised 6 free sessions of counselling for me too to be taken when I need them as not coping too well. Talk to your breast care nurse as they can be fantastic but they need to be told how you feel.
I work in the NHS too and actually worked for the cancer services dept of the hospital where I am being treated. I can appreciate how you must feel as a practice manager surrounded by information, people and patients it must all be so daunting and sometimes knowing too little or too much plays against you , I remember for the first few days feeling like it was an out of body experience and i was talking and hearing advice and good wishes for somebody else, i felt like it was surreal. When i went along to meet my Breast surgeon he said to me you need to take ownership of this and remember it is your cancer and your journey and take each day each appt and procedure and treatment as it comes, and i have tried to do that to remain positive, I think once you have a plan in place you can be more positive and hopefully it gives you a chink of light at the end of the tunnel. i hope your treatment goes well remember there is always positivity on these forums and always cyber ears to listen x
Yes not easy working for the NHS in many ways!!
It has been 4 days since my first chemo and still feels like an out of body experience. I am so used to being on the other side and do not make a good patient.
How is your treatment going and how are you coping with it all?
Don’t worry Julie the out of body feeling goes! Get outside and walk a lot and it helps it to shift!!!
I agree totally with the take control bit…centuaries ago I also worked for the NHS so never have anything without asking why or researching it…thats how I got Emend straight up…by saying I was not prepared to be sick so wanted it from the start!
my breast surgeon and my breast care nurse both said
“ask for a consultant” before I was handed an appointment
card. It was for my first appt at oncology and it’s not
with a consultant. The appt is Nov 16th.
Hi mumx5inuk
Phone them up and tell them you want to see a consultant, and don’t take no for an answer! Doesn’t matter if they think you are being “difficult”, there are no prizes in the BC game for being “nice”. If you don’t ask, you usually don’t get. Remember, the “difficult” patients(as defined by the medical profession) often make the quickest recovery.
It might not seem fair but it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the oil!
Sarah x
A rather long P.S.
Re your husband’s reaction - it does sound like he’s scared and therefore running away from dealing with it. I half expected that reaction from my husband, but found that by having him come to all my significant appointments with me, he had as much info as I did and knew what to expect, and that stopped him being frightened. He’s usually hopeless at dealing with illness but he’s been an absolute star throughout all this.
Can you husband work from home at all? Mine did that a lot when I needed support, and that meant he felt he was still doing what he needed to do work-wise, but was also there if I needed him.
Sarah x
x