Just diagnosed

Hi everyone, i was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma yesterday and my head is in a spin. I have been told that i will have surgery in a couple of weeks to remove the lump and some nodes, and will have radiotherapy after i cant be the only one that feels so scared, its all happened so fast.

Hello, Ahevans, or is it A H Evans? Believe me you are not the only one who feels scared–we all do. I found that making plans for time off work and arranging for other people to cover some of the voluntary activities I normally do helped me to feel that I was still in control of the situation.

I’m sorry you have to join us here, but this is a very good place to confide your worries, especially if you don’t want to burden your nearest and dearest.

When you have a definite treatment plan and dates, you may find that it’s a little easier to deal with the very natural anxiety you feel.

Best wishes,

Cheryl

Hi ahevans

Welcome to the BCC forums

In addition to the support you have here please feel free to call our helpline on 0808 800 6000, the line is open 9-5 weekdays and 9-2 sat.

I am posting a link to the BCC publication which has been designed for anyone newly diagnosed, you can order a copy here:

breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/diagnosed-with-breast-cancer/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/82/

Take care
Lucy

Sorry you have also been diagnosed with bc. I had DCIS confirmed and needed 2 ops to get clear margins, now just have radiotherapy to get through when arranged.

I was so well looked after by the surgery team, be assured they will do everything they can to guide you through this scarey time. You should also have a breast care nurse to contact again she is very supportive.

When you get through your op, & go for the results, I didn’t go prepared the first time & found all I could do was nod when told I needed 2nd op & the date. Next time round I had a list of questions I needed answered and felt more in control which helped a bit with the stress.

I wish you well on your journey, lots of advice and support on these forums.

Take care & lots of hugs,
Lynne X

Hi ahevens, and sorry you’ve joined. I’m only a little way ahead of you and can totally sympathise with your head going round, it’s enough to make you dizzy.

The Waiting Room has to be the worst place on the planet, and we know what you’re feeling because we’ve ALL been there. It gets a little bit better when you know what they’re going to do to you, but even then it’s still not easy.

If you want to find out more, be careful with googling randomly as there are a lot of sites out there that are single-interest sites with their own agenda and the information can be misleading or downright wrong, so stick to reputable sites like this one, or Cancer Research, or Macmillan.

And give the helpline a ring if you want to ask any questions, or even just to get some help to get your head round the diagnosis.

Hi

Sorry you find yourself in this position. It is a scary time and really rocks your world and everything looks very frightening. It takes some time to readjust - when I was first dx I spent ages wandering around the sheep fields shouting ‘I have bc’, the sheep didn’t care but I need to say those words and understand that they were linked to me.

The next few weeks will be tough as they find out the expent of the cancer and formulate the best plan for you. Make use of this site you’ll get loads of support and your questions answered.

Take care and I wish you all the best

Reeb x

For now sending you a virtual hug xx

i am so fed up tonight, think it finally hit me. I cant stop crying now wondering what else is going to be thrown at me. My hubby has a terminal illness and doctors say he has about 6 - 9 months left, i have been caring for him alone for about 2 years now and its not been easy. Now i have been diagnosed with bc, dont know how im going to cope with it all, i feel so alone, scared and angry now, when will my life get better. Sorry for ranting a bit but i need to get it out of my system otherwise i think i will go mad.

Thanks for all you kind comments yesterday.

Annette

Aheavens, blimey, what a heck of a situation for you. No wise words but wanted to say that I’m listening…
x

Dear Annette
I am so sorry you are finding it so difficult after the dx. May be listening to other people’s story will ease it. Believe me I felt the same way. I have been looking after my 2 kids and my husband who has been jobless for a long time and has many health problems. I am the sole bread earner in the family. 2 years back my world had shattered after my dx. I didn’t know what to do. 2/3 colleagues came home 2 days after my dx and found me crying all along. Everybody was asking me to stay positive and all that but in the beginning no advice or moral support worked for me and I cried everyday. Unfortunately my BCN was quite rude to me many times. My kids were very sad and scared because they had never seen me this upset. Frequently I was going into the shower, standing under the water and scream and cry loudly. My grief seemed uncontrollable to me. But very soon it all started to ease off and I said to myself I have to be brave and have to go through the treatment. Once the tumour was out 2 weeks after my dx, I felt a lot better psychologically and stronger. My skin sparing mx and implant insertion was followed by chemo for 6 months. Although my grief started to come back when I lost my hair but that also became a thing of the past soon. My hair grew back (in curls) soon and looked lot better than before. It took time to recover from chemo but I have been back to work for more than a year now and feel normal and stronger than ever. I am planning to have diep reconstruction in June thus year. Believe me you will be fine and time will pass quickly and very soon the treatment will be over. Medicine has come a long way as far as treatment of BC is concerned. I know it is all very scary at the moment for you but this will pass soon. I see women that had breast cancer and they don’t even look like they had cancer in the past. About getting help in the house particularly for your husband let your BCN know. They might be able to arrange some support. You need to concentrate on your treatment and get better. Crying is normal reaction at this time after dx and this will pass. I had requested support from the psychological medicine and they were just brilliant in councelling and supporting through treatment. I hope this helps. Please feel free to ask any question. Best wishes.xxxx

Annette, bless your cotton socks girl - you’ve got more right than some to rant so don’t apologise, just let it out. Simple but heartfelt wishes to you. xxxxx Chris xxxxx

hi all, im back in the waiting room, had lump removed on 18th Feb bit sore and bruised still, now gotta wait for results before i go on any further. I have been told i will need rads and tamoxifen but no idea what to expect. Does anyone know if there is any help for people on income support, i dont know how i am going to pay for travelling expenses for 40 mile round trip everyday to hospital to have rads. I know this might sound a bit silly worrying over money but i can only just about afford general living expenses as it is, im getting so stressed.

The hospital provide you with transport dont worry

Hi,
When you meet with your onc to discuss your rads, ask about transport, the hospital provide transport but they don’t like to broadcast it, as it is expensive, but if you are having difficulties with transport or finances then it is there for you, I had transport for my 20 rads, as I don’t drive, and the hospital I had to attend wasn’t a simple bus ride away, you do have to be ready a few hours before your appt though, as they usually pick up a few patients. Hope this helps, good luck x

Just noticed Elainer’s post, saying same thing x

Thanks Elaine and crazy cat lady for your replies, its good to know that they do provide some transport, the only problem i have is that i am the main carer for my hubby and cant leave him alone for too long, and there is’nt anyone around all the time to sit with him. (Not every day for 3 weeks anyway). I was hoping to drive there everyday as i would’nt be gone to long but just cant afford all the petrol. I will ask the onc anyway.
Annette

There is another way the hospital also provide a car where there are 2 passengers so you can be there and back quicker

just sent you a pm

thanks elaine, i will look into it all nice to know there are ways round it, been getting so stressed out. Everybody on this site are so helpfully even with silly things. Thank you all
Annette

Annette, they’re NOT “silly things”, they’re things that are worrying you, and so will be taken seriously. Money is often a huge worry for people undergoing cancer treatment. Even getting the bits and bobs that will help us cope better during treatment cost money that is extra to what we’d normally be spending and when money’s tight, that’s a worry.

Good luck with your rads.

hi chocciemuffin
can i just ask what are the bits and bobs you are reffering to i have not been told to get anything, are there things that i should get or need to get? I am finding out new things everyday reading all the leaflets etc but nothing so far on what to get.
Annette