I had a biopsy last week and today received a phone call to say of was cancerous and an appointment has been made for me to see a breast surgeon next week. I was so convinced that it would be a false alarm that I wasnt prepared and didn’t ask any questions. Does anyone know if seeing a surgeon is a good sign or a bad sign. I am 54 years old and 3 weeks ago my sister died of long cancer. The thought of telling my 87 year old mum that I have cancer too fills me with dread.
It was a breast surgeon at the clinic that told me I had cancer after giving me an ultrasound scan. I was convinced it was nothing and had convinced all the family that it was nothing to worry about. Fast forward 10 months and I have had 5 months chemotherapy, a mastectomy and axillary clearance (4 days before christmas 2011) and 15 radiotherapy zappings. I was stage 3 with lymph involvement and aged 55 when I was diagnosed. How well is your mother? Do you have to tell her about your cancer? My father died 23 years ago and my mother died 5 years ago aged 84. Her sister is still alive and turned 98 this year, I didn’t tell her about my cancer until I knew that it had been removed. So sorry to hear that your diagnosis comes so soon after the passing of your sister - if you were close enough I would give you a very gentle hug.
Deb
I just wish I had thought to ask questions like what stage is it at what type is it etc but I thought I was so invincible it was bound to be a false alarm. Having sister my sister go through gruelling chemo which just made her weaker while the cancer grew I am out of my mind with worry.
How are you now? How did you cope? Did you continue to work? I have so much I would like to know but at the same time would rather not know.
Sorry I meant to add it was micro something or other (nurse explained it as chalk dust ) that showed on the mammogram. I don’t know of that’s a good sign or a bad sign!
Dear Cauli
I am sorry to read that you are having such a worrying time at the moment, our helpliners are here to offer you further support and a listening ear which may help. You can call during the week 9-5 on 0808 800 6000 and Saturday 9-2.
Take care
Lucy
Hi,
Sorry you are joining us here and I know this is a really difficult time when you have so many unanswered questions.
I would say seeing a surgeon at this point is normal. When you go I would expect them to talk you through what they have found and what your suggested treatment plan is. It is good you are thinking of questions now. As you say you may or may not want the answers so best to be clear what you want to know. Be prepared to change your mind as you go along though, this ride can be a roller coaster.
So my advice would be to use this time to decide exactly what you want to know, and what you don’t. In my experience fear of the unknown is worse than knowing…but that is just me and you may be different. Write your questions down, and take someone with you if you can. It can be hard to take all of the information in at once.
I have had excision of the lump (WLE), lymph nodes removed (ANC), and radiotherapy and it was all OK, and less traumatic than I feared. I chose not to tell my parents until I knew what the treatment plan was and then I was able to put it across in a positive way.
remember there are always people here who can help give you examples of how they coped, but of course they are just examples because we are all different. I personally take great comfort from the fact that people ahead of me on this journey have coped, even in my darkest moments I believed that if they can cope then so can I.
Lynda
Hi Cauli, I’m sorry that you are going through this so soon after you lost your sister and saw first hand the heartache it causes. I Was diagnosed last April 2011 aged 51 with invasive ductal grade 2,1 lymph node involved, eight months after my own sister passed away with secondary breast cancer ( she had complications caused by liver cancer) aged 54
I wasn’t entirely suprised when I was also diagnosed with breast cancer initially because we also have a first cousin who was diagnosed at the same time as my sister in 2008 aged 41 ( who remains well 4 years later)so we appear to have a significant risk.
It really helps to find out to begin with your diagnosis and treatment plan, although very scary, you will be more prepared. As it begins to sink in, you will have days when you feel you’re on an emotional ‘rollercoaster.’ I was terrified of the thought of the treatment but once the treatment began, a mastectomy in May 2011,I had 3XFEC and 3xTAX chemotherapy July 2011,lymph clearancein Dec 2011 I coped suprisingly well with family and friends support. Some days will be better than others but visit this site regularly and you will find all of the support and advice you need through reading relevant threads at different stages of your treatment.
I have been off work for 11 months and will be due to start back at the end of Apri, just 2 mornings a week to start( I work in a school and didn’t risk infection with chemo)The time between surgeries and healing took longer than I thought, so I’ve given myself time to recover. I still radiotherapy starting next Tues for 3 weeks. Treat yourself with kindness,I wish you well and send you a virtual ((hug))
Jo
Thank you everyone for taking the time to answer when you are all going through it yourself. Monday week just seems such a long time to wait for some answers. Ironically because of my sister I had a chest X-ray the other day and the results came back as clear. Can’t believe how one phone call has turned me world upside down. Will phone the place where I had the screening done tomorrow to see of they can answer any of my questions. Thank you again xx
Being given a description of it being mico - like chalk dust is quite encouraging. My tumour didn’t show up on a mammogram but was huge on the ultrasound scan. Sneaky carcinoma called invasive lobular. Chemotherapy shrank it to less than 2cm and the axillary clearance and mastectomy removed what was left.
I am thankful every single day for the speed with which my team acted. From day one I was on the fastest roller coaster ride which thankfully has slowed down now to the point where I have returned to work and am beginning to feel part of the human race again.
I am going to phone the nurse at the breast screening centre today and try and find out more. Thank you again xx
I’m sorry to keep harping on when everyone else seems to be remaining so positive. I just spoke to the breast screening nurse. Its apparently 15mm of invasive cancerous cells and she says in general its surgery followed by chemo and/or radiotherapy. I am putting on such a brave face to my children and hubby and telling them it will be fine and at the same time keeping it a secret from my mum but inside I am falling apart.
Hey cauli, just noticed we are both on at the moment - I am sorry you are having such a difficult time , we were all just the same at diagnosis - I can’t tell you how much better it gets when you have a proper treatment plan set up and thats after all the different tests are done and you have no more news to dread…I know that feels a while away for now but hang in there, you can do it. Lots of us held it together for others and my way of coping with having to do that was to have private times with just me and my OH when we both just cried or , frankly, got drunk!
Distraction also helped us, we watched ridiculous telly and films and stuff, and then you find you have reached the day when the whole picture is clearer…but the start is really hard so be good to yourself…its the shock and the waiting, and everyone on here will give you lots of support through it cos we know what its like,
big big hugs, Nicola
Hi Cauli,
Don’t be sorry, we all have moments when it is hard to be positive, especially in the early days when it is all strange, new and scarey.
Feel free to come on here and say exactly how you feel, this is one place you can be open and get support from others who are either going though it at the same time as you, or have already been through it and can give you some idea of what to expect.
My cancer was also 15mm found on a routine mammogram. I just had the lump removed, my lymph nodes removed because it had spread to one node, both as day surgery, and then radiotherapy. There are all sorts of different treatment plans depending on your surgeon and oncologist, and the exact details of your tumour. For now try and take a day at a time, and hold on to the thought that it is not the end of the world.
Breast cancer is very well researched and funded, and there are many more treatment options than there are with other cancers.
If you feel you need to talk to someone then the helpline on here are here for you.
Cauli
I just find it appallingly insensitive that you were given DX over the phone - I thought good practice meant you would get such news face to face.
Yes it is a GOOD sign that you are seeing an onc/surgeon - that means they know how to treat your cancer. And as other ladies are saying, when you have a treatment plan you will know what you will have to cope with.
I never told people about my DX (except Rita my support group of one) until I could say I have HAD cancer but it’s all gone now. Not everyone’s choice obviously, but the point is you have to manage this beastly experience in the way you feel is best for YOU.
At your clinic appt you should have the surgeon and a McMillan Breast Nurse allocated to you as your main contact for questions/reassurance etc, and they will give you as long as it takes - my first 2 appts were each over an hour, with a lot of tears and snot dribbling down my boobs - and that’s OK, they’ve seen it all.
2 years later I am NED no evidence of disease, and looking forward to the next 30-ish years of happy and healthy life - no bad at 64!
all the very best for your appt, and a big big hug
grumpy (and cheery!)
Please could someone tell me what DX means. I am new to all this.
karen x
hi kb, dx means diagnosed. if u look in the column on the left hand side of the home page, there is an option “glossary” click on it to help you with all the abbreviations!! love alex x
I think dx means diagnosed. That’s what I’m reading it as.
Ive just had a total melt down about the whole thing and in a funny way I feel a tiny bit better. I do also feel encouraged from reading lakeslovers post. Thank you x
It was harsh receiving the news by phone call and what made it worse was because i was at work I went out in the car park. Nothing really sank in - even the time of the appointment they had made me with the breast surgeon went over my head. When I phoned back today they were very helpful although as soon as I put the phone down I wished I had asked them what stage they thought it was at. I think I’m desperate to convince myself it will be ok so I can convince everyone else it will be ok.
Wouldn’t seem quite so bad if we hadn’t buried my 55 year old sister on 19 March. She was diagnosed on 5 December with stage 4 lung cancer and she wasn’t even a smoker!!
thanks mummysboobs and cauli…i must admit there have been that many abbreviations about breast cancer i have got a bit confused…i shall have a look at glossary.
I know what you mean Cauli, when someone in your family dies of cancer. My dad had cancer so i guess when youve seen someone in the family diagnosed with it, it tends to make you paranoid. At the end of the day we must think that they have come so far forward with cancer treatment and the good thing is breast cancer is curable…some cancers arent so thats how i think of it…x
I’m sorry Cauli for your news.
Like you I was given the results by phone, which is awful. Your head will be all over the place (I know mine was) but my news was 4 years ago and my life is fine now.
Whatever treatment they advise, it will go quickly and you will soon be on ‘the other side’. A few months of treatment is worth it for what you get back afterwards. Your life back.
I’m now feeling great and have my priorities in the right order.
Mal