Glad I made you giggle Emily, Charys & Ann. I want it to be normal at work and that they can be free and easy with their humour and ask as many questions as they want. One of the lads sang down the phone to me today (these are rough arsed demolition men and I love them to bits). I have a brilliant job, I go in early I love it that much.
Ann - why didn’t you need chemo?
Ladybowler - tropical moments - love it. ??
hi SL, did not need chemo as nodes were clear on sn biopsy & small grade 2 bc removed with ‘good’ margins & now on tamoxifen, so am very glad I went for that routine screening appointment as I very nearly didn’t.
ann x
Not doing so good - I have convinced myself it has spread. I keep trying to distract myself, but I feel so sick & panicky. I thought I could handle this, but the waiting is just so hard. I’m dreading the results tomorrow.
Oh no … I know that feeling well myself. It’s all very well people saying you are a strong confident person. It will be OK. How the hell do they know.
not sure about you but all the stuffing been knocked out of me and I am a gibbering wreck. Hell this is not helping huh??
i guess it helps though when someone picks your post up quick though … I hope so xx
It does Mysti - it helps a lot to know there is someone there. And that I’m not the only gibbering wreck. I can’t say any of this at home, I don’t want to scare them. Thanks for being there.
You need to talk … my attempts at doing so are pathetic … plus I blubber and have panic attacks. Hubby very patient. Don’t thin putting on a brave face is a long term solution. I have boxes in my head where I store my demons. They all escaped big time yesterday.
You gotta tell tell your true feelings. Don’t think it scares people who love you. Think they need to know and understand (yeah right) so they can support you xx
Hi silver - it’s so so so ok to be scared … how can we not be? I am also going through a bad patch at the moment. I thought I had had all the news and didn’t realise that after the op I would get results again as things could have changed or be found to be different.
What time is your appointment tomorrow, please let us know how you have got on. We will all be thinking of you xxx
Mysti, I also have really bad panic attacks, I’ve suffered with anxiety for years but since my diagnosis it has just blown out of proportion especially on appointment days … doesn’t help that I am hospital, blood and needle phobic!!! makes things so much harder when I’m trying to keep in control xx
Thank you Ladybowler, I nearly deleted my comment, it was as if putting it down in words meant I wasn’t being strong. But, I had to admit to someone how I felt. I’m going with my sister, my appointment is at 2.40pm.
Thanks Mysti - this is why this forum is a lifeline to me, I can say my true feelings on here without scaring my husband & kids.
Thanks again - I’m gonna have a nice bubbly bath & watch some crap on TV.
Thanks Sallyann, I was typing while you were posting. When do you get your results? I’ll post on here as soon as I know mine.
Charys - that’s exactly how it feels, my heart hurt with fear & I could hardly breathe & it crept up out of nowhere. I’ve calmed down again thanks to all of your words of comfort.
You can’t change the past, but you can change the outcome no matter what.
Goodnight my friends & thank you all again.
Hello Silverlady. Sorry I missed this last night. I know just what you mean about that panicky feeling that seems to come from nowhere. People have said to mean how strong I am being, but it suddenly comes from nowhere. You try to protect those around - when really they need to know how we are feeling so we can support each other. Sending you big hugs for today, and we are all here for support whatever your outcome.
what I have learnt through being on here is just how different all of our journeys are, but how similar are our feelings, thoughts and emotions.
Jane xx
Thinking of you today Silverlady, and you Strudel.x
Thank you all so much - I feel a lot calmer today although very nervous. Lisa, my sister, will be picking me up in half and hour, so not long to wait.
Thank you Jane, Emily, Ladybowler, Charys, Mysti, Sallyann & Strudel - I am so grateful for all of your support and that I’m in your thoughts. It’s strange that even though I have never met any of you, I can be calmed by your words.
Strudel - I wish you all the best and lots of hugs for tomorrow and I look forward to reading your post when you are awake.
How are you feeling Jane, is everthing o.k.?
Speak to you all soon.
Speak later Silver and I think we all take comfort from each other xx
Thinking of you too Strudel for this afternoon I was excited about my surgery u till the morning of the surgery and then I decided that perhaps I didn’t want it after all! But 3 days on and Im Feeling so much better in myself.
jane x
Hi Everyone,
The scan was clear - I feel like I’m walking on air, I nearly cried in the consultants room with relief.
I’m booked in for my masectomy next Tuesday, going to my pre-op on Monday at 10am.
I’ve just had to order some new pyjammas, as my old ones are awful.
I really can’t put into words how much your words of comfort got me through these last 3 weeks and I want to thank you all again. I feel hungry now, first time in ages.
How did you get on Strudel? I hope everything went o.k.
How are you Sallyann?
Fantastic news Silverlady. been looking out for your news!!
Hi just back from the hospital have been told that I have grade3 ductal cancer, doctor said it was most common form of breast cancer. Going for mastectomy in about four weeks. Don’t know any further treatment at this time, scan showed lymph nodes clear at the moment. Anyone else out there with this diagnosis? What treatment did you have? Absolutely terrified about what future holds and what treatment might be involved.
Hi Anita,
I have been diagnosed with Grade 3 the same as you and will be having a mastectomy & SNB on Tuesday, followed by chemo sometime after Christmas, followed by Rads and then I was told I would be taking hormone blockers for a few years after.
I understand your fear, if you have read through the previous posts, you can see that I was terrified and couldn’t stop the feeling of dread and anxiety.
But, coming on here and sharing my fears with these wonderful ladies, really did help me through the last dark 3 weeks.
The support you will receive and the comforting and soothing calmness will greatly help ease your fears.