Just found out I have breast cancer

Hi, I found out on the 5th December that I have breast cancer, fast growing lump which is a grade 3 and about 4cm in size. I have my follow up appointment with a breast consultant yesterday. He told me that I would be hearing from the chemo nurses in the next couple of days to meet with them and arrange my first FEC chemo session, they want me to start before xmas. The doctor told me that I would lose my hair and after the chemo I will have surgery (hopefully not losing all my breast) then radiotherapy.

I dont think it has sunk in yet and i just feel like I am on a rollercoster which is out of control. I have a 7 year old daughter of which I havent told yet, but as I am going to be going through changes I know that I will have to tell her.

To say that I am scared is an understatement, just keep thinking why me???

Hi tac33, sorry you have to join us on here, I was exactly where you are now a year ago, I had a grade 3 tumour, 4.5cm, had 7 chemo sessions (4 fec and 3 docetaxal) then had a lumpectomy and axillary clearance then 23 radiotherapy sessions. I lost my hair 3 weeks after the first chemo, I was told this too, i didnt try the cold cap but it maybe an option for you. After a few days of it falling out my friend came round with her clippers and took it all off, had a temporary mohican, just for a few minutes and off it went. I bought lots of scarves, hats and got a wig through the hospital, it was subsidised. There is a booklet I got from the hospital which explains about cancer which you can read to your child, Im sure if you ask they can give it toyou. Mine were aged 11 & 14 so older than yours, my son took it all really well, older, my daughter was very upset naturally and didnt like to show me when she was. The only think I can do is say we are all here for you, Im happy to answer any questions at any time, I know its difficult to imagine but you will get through this with support from your family and friends. Take each day at a time, accept offers of help and we are here for you, sending you a big HUG xxx Ness xxxx Hope I havent rambled too much! xxxxxxx

Hi tac33

Welcome to the BCC forums, in addition to the valuable support here please feel free to call our helpline where you can talk your fears and concerns over with one of our team in confidence, the lines are open 9-5 weekdays 9-2 Sat on 0808 800 6000

I am posting a link to the newly diagnosed information page on the website and here you will find a newly diagnosed resource pack and also a publication about talking to your children as nessp has suggested,along with some ideas for further support:


Take care

Hi Tac33, just know you are not alone in how you are feeling. I found out yesterday and it is almost like the world is carrying on as normal, especially difficult as it is Christmastime, but yet my world has stopped. What I am doing is trying to get through an hour at a time, a day at a time whatever it takes. I put a post on yesterday and had quite a few posts back, so you see we aren’t alone, we are one of many many women going through this. I hope you have some good friends and family who will support you, maybe someone could be with you when you tell your little one??? We mothers are stronger than we think, and like me, you will get through this difficult time. Love & Hugs to you xxxx

Hi Tac33

You are not alone hun. I found out on 8th December and, sadly, I know exactly how scared you are feeling right now. Everyone assured me that once I had my treatment plan in place I would feel tonnes better - I didn’t believe that could be true but it is. Yesterday I was told I am having a small op tomorrow to remove the nodes under my armpit and my chemo will start in the New Year. My mastectomy will take place after chemo (its just the way round I chose to do it). The relief I feel at knowing action is being taken is immense.

I too have a young DD of 10 and we have explained everything to her at a level she understands. I am sure your DD will surprise you with her ability to deal with your news. The hospital gave me a book called Mummys Lump and she found it really helpful (she read it with my sister as she didnt want me getting upset). She keeps telling me to “look on the brightside mummy, by next July you will be all better and we can go on holiday” - lol. So, I have a date to get better by - or else!! My DS is 17 so its a little different for him, he understands the full implications of cancer and realises its going to be a tough time for us all. Like most lads of his age, he tends to keep his feelings bottled up until he can’t help but have an outburst - he had one last night so I sat up with him explaining it all again and assuring him I am going to fight this with everything I have, he has gone off to college this morning feeling better and more reassured.

I also only first posted on here this week and the response I got was amazing, so supportive and so positive. One of the best pieces of advice I was given was to deal with this day by day, do not look too far into the future and, whatever you do, do not google it. This has been the most informative, positive (there’s that word again) website I have found.

Wishing you well and thinking of you.

Debs x

Hi all
I’m new to this site but glad after reading so many posts that I’m not alone. I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago and have had CT scan and MRI - thankfully it hasn’t gone anywhere else. I have a stage 3 and one node affected but the docs are confident they can do a lumpectomy. Was at hospital today and start my chemo (6 x FEC treatment) next Friday. Having a clip marker inserted into the tumour on Wed next week, PICC line put in on Thurs and then chemo starts on Friday - so busy old week for me. I’m then due to have surgery (lumpectomy) after my chemo is finished and maybe radiotherapy after that if it’s needed. I’m having my hair cut short next week to get used to the idea and have to say I’m feeling much more positive now than I was when I was first diagnosed. I’m only 42 and a single mum to my 12 year old son but I’ve explained to him as best I can and he’s been amazing. Also met a fantastic guy only 4 months ago and he’s also been my absolute rock through all of this. Hoping the chemo isn’t as bad as I imagine but think it’s the fear of the unknown that’s the worst. Anyone else had a PICC line put in for chemo?

hi Tac33

I too am sorry to find you here…

I had my MX and full node clearance 6 days ago and since the treatment started it is true you do become calmer. It’s tough with little ones but i have found my children have coped very well and there are lots of publications out there that will explain to them what Mummy is going through…children can be a lot more resiliant than we give them credit for…

good luck with your treatment and keep posting…the information and support you will recieve on here is invaluable

julie x x x


Your diagnosis sounds very very like mine. I have started my FEC-T treatment and have the second session on Monday. They said I would have a PICC line inserted but when I went for the pre-chemo assessment, the nurse said my veins looked as though they would be fine and I wouldn’t need a PICC line, so you might find you don’t need one either. My vein did turn out to be fine and the treatment went through in just an hour and a half. The side effects were nowhere near as bad as I had expected either, so hopefully you’ll be the same.
To all you ladies who have just found out, stay positive. I know, everyone keeps saying that, but you really do have to train your mind not to let in negative thoughts. They do no good whatsoever. Just keep telling yourself you’ll be fine. Over and over and over again. Treatment nowadays is absolutely brilliant. The NHS have it down to a fine art. You are in good hands.


there is a book available form breast cancer care called Mummys Lump, i read it with my 6 year old, a little bit young but still very useful

Gill x


Thanks for your message - fingers crossed I don’t need a PICC line put in but if I do, it’s just another experience I guess! It’s encouraging though that your first chemo wasn’t as bad as you thought and I take heart from that so thank you. And you’re absolutely right - staying positive is the only way to get through this - we all have our ‘wobbly’ moments as I call them, it’s only natural but the care and kindness I’ve received from all the staff I’ve seen at the NHS has been amazing. I wish you and everyone else all the best with your treatments - let’s all keep smiling as much as we can
Suzy x

Hi, I had a picc line put in for my chemo and it wasnt painful at all, the worst thing was showering as had to wear a big plastic sleeve which the hospital gave me a website to order one from. It was easy to administer the drugs and for the blood test 2 days prior to my chemo too. My hubby cleaned and flushed it once a week once my friend who is a chemo nurse showed him how to do it. She recommended one and Im glad I did have one. You are all right in thinking positive thoughts but we all have teary days and difficult days, I had lots of those in teh last year! Even now I have a day when I cry over the littlest thing, prob just showing that I havent recovered from a year on a roller coaster really. Sending you all a hug Ness xxxxx

Hi Tac 33.
I was told November 30th that i have a grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma of the left breast.
I start my chemo 29th December Im having to have 6 sessions 3 weeks apart then an op to remove Breast and my lymph gland .
I was told i would lose all my hair people have told me about the cold cap but im leaving the option open .
I have an appointment with the chemo nurse on thursday next week to talk it all over.
Like you i dont think it has sunk in i reckon when my hair goes that will be the time.
My husband has been very supportive and friends seem to be coming out the woodwork

Hi Ladies,

Glad you are all staying positive! I have my second FEC on Monday and have cleaned the house today and done a lot of Christmas shopping this week, so I’m good and ready! I started losing my hair on about day 14 after the first FEC and it came out pretty quickly. I picked up my NHS wig on Thursday (it really is beautiful and I’m so happy with it) and I got my husband to shave off what was left of my own hair on Thursday night. By the time you get to this stage, you will be glad to get rid of your hair as it becomes annoying, and messy! Having no hair is strangely liberating! I really don’t feel very upset about it, especially as my wig is so nice, and comfy and warm! And remember, your hair will start to grow back quickly once the chemo is finished and it’ll be interesting to see what texture and colour it comes in!