Found out on Wednesday I have breast cancer, head is all over the place. Feel sick and can hardly eat (though I am trying to eat). Off to see my cancer nurse today, she gave me some option for surgery and told me to go away and think about it, have decided for a mastectomy and implant. Also got to have a CT scan to see if its spread - Im scared scared scared
Hi Rainbowwitch,
Its so normal to feel scared, I found out May this year and had a mx 5 weeks ago, no implant just tamox for 5 years.
Get a writing pad and write a list of questions that you want to ask, i couldnt eat or sleep and used to jot down random questions that really helped.
Please eat and look after yourself, i posted on here about being scared, and crying and having bad days but the support and advise that you get is amazing.
Keep me posted and take care of yourself.
Michelle x
hi,
yes the pad and paper tip is realy good, when your head is spinning round its so hard to remember everything. Having to think of all the implications of various treatments whilst you made your decisions must have made you more scared.
Hopefully once you have seen your nurse and got the treatment scheduled and nailed down in the diary it might seem alot calmer and easier to get your head round.
You will get lots of support on this site from people who are having or have had the same treatments as you. If you look at the times of some of the posts you will see that many use it late at night when they cannot sleep and things are churning around in their minds.
So sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Hope your session with the nurse today helps
Hi RW,
so sorry for you, we’ve all been there flower. I had bilteral mx in March after previous surgery found bigger than expected lump. I was very lucky and mine hadn’t become invasive (DCIS) so because I had mx I had no more treatment.
The place you’re in a the moment is horrible, and it really does get a bit easier once you’ve had the surgery and you know what you’re dealing with. Try not to look up too much stuff at this stage, and if you do stick to this site for now (there’s all sorts of nonsense on line). Also, please call the helpline, they are wonderful and will help you to understand what’s going on, and also calm you down.
Also try to remember that lots of bc is treatable now.
Re the mx, mine was ok and I’m pretty much fully-recovered now. You’ll feel a bit dodgy for a while, but it’s doable. There are several threads on here about the surgery where people do some virtual hand-holding and go through it together, so either join one of those or start your own for the July mx people. I got so much support, friendship and advice from our little gang.
Sending you lots of love and big hugs, let us know how you get on
xx
hi rainbowwitch,
just saw on another thread that you were having a bad day. How did your session with the nurse go last thursday, have you got your treatment scheduled in?
so sorry you are feeling bad today, it must be a bit of a roller coster ride especially when they start discussing it spreading.
Not much I can realy say to help, just that people on here really care and want to give you all the support they can.
Thanks all for the advice, feel slightly better today (not so weepy) No news on anything (scans/op…) yet - is that normal??
Am trying just to read the good things at the moment.
I would like to say Im glad there are others out there to support me but obviously dont want anyone to go through this.
i thought it was normal once all the results were in to sit down with the nurse or doctor and plan everything.
why not give your breast nurse a ring tomorrow, and ask her what is going to happen next and when that will be. It is just possible they have scheduled a meeting and the letter got lost in the post.
this is a horrid time, everything up in the air and it cannot realy calm down in your mind until you have a proper plan and can take one step at a time on it.
Im going to a support group on Thursday and my nurse will be there, so will ask. When I saw her last Friday, she said she would get onto the surgeon.
Fingers crossed it starts happening soon
Hi Rainbowwitch,i can understand how confused u are. I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, i was given the diagnosis & then straightaway told i could either have a mastectomy or lumpectomy with radiotherapy. I asked what they would advise & the registrar doc just said ‘well its up to u really’, then sent me home to think it over. I tossed from one thing to another & then went back to talk to my consultant, she explained everything for my situation & i felt so much better & made my decision there & then. I would ask to see ur consultant if u can, i think sometimes u have to push to get things done but hospitals have timescale guidelines they must follow now so hopefully they won’t make u wait too much longer. xx
I am not sure if anyone can help me. Although I do not have breast cancer but my aunt and godmother as been diagnosed at the start of April 2011 it was a shock to all of us. However she has had two lump removals since then both unsuccessful the second one about there weeks ago although both of these were unsuccessful. She was to get a full breast removal today but she had an infection and was sent to get her breast cleaned out and removed from infection. I would be interested to know it anyone else has been in this position and how long does it take for infection to be cleared. My head is all round the place. she was given a grade 3 diagnois but it has not spread beyond the breast.
Thanks
hi tyronerose,
just read your post, you must be at your wits end. All these failed attempts to get the cancer out and now the infection.
I think the big thing to hold onto is that it has not spread, so i could be wrong but that might mean no chemo therapy. And although a mastectomy is a larger operation, I think that means no radiotherapy.
I suppose you are worrying about wether the delay of the infection will increase the chance of it spreading–well I would not.they have had her cancer in the laboratory and know exactly what sort of beast it is. cancers go through all different stages. So they will have their fingers on the pulse and know how long it is safe to wait.
My friend had pancreatic cancer but got a huge infection from the biopsy. when they weighed it all up, they knew how long it was safe to leave it and decided to operate before they cleared the infection even though it was risky–that was 15years ago and she is back at work and charging round like a 2 year old having been given the all clear years ago.
this is a distressing time for your aunt and all around her. Presumably she is ill with the infection which on top of all the BC worries is a blow. I am sure by this stage all she wants is for the operation to be over and to start getting well. But it must be better if possible to get rid of the infection first, I have no idea how long it will be in her case.
Whatever happens make sure she looks after herself after the op. It is so tempting to try and prove life has got back to normal by knocking yourself out doing jobs. Rest is the best cure there is, along with support from family.
hi i found out yesterday i have breast cancer, my head is all over the place. i no its spread but dont no how bad until next week when i have my ct scan. i am 40 yrs old with 2 children and i am so so scared to and cannot stop crying just dont no where to turn donna x
Hello donnajean
Welcome to the forums, you have come to the right place for support from our experienced users who I’m sure will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 600 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 to 2.00.
Best wishes
June, moderator
Hi Donnajean
I know exactualy how you feel it’s as if your world stops when you get told the news, but honestly once you get all the facts about your treatments etc you will start to feel a little better.
I finished treatment last September and I am feeling well, there is light at the end of the tunnel, I know it doesn’t feel like it.
I am off on holiday for a week but please let me know how you get on.
Love Anne xx
hi donnajean, i just do not know what to say, its such a shock to find out about cancer in the first place, and then the wait to find out if its spread and what treatment you are going to have and probaly worrying if you are going to cope.
Well first of all, yes you will cope,evan if it has spread, there are lots of ladies on here being treated for all stages of cancer, I am sure someone will be along soon to give you support. (at the moment there is no sign of mine spreading)
All I can say that it is this initial phase of realing from the shock and worrying about what is going to happen to you that is the worse bit. From reading other posts everyone says that once you know what you are dealing with and how its goig to be treated it is easier to cope.
Dont know how young your children are but people seem to be recommending a book, something like Mummies Lump which might be good if they are not too old.
All the very best to you
Hi donnajean so sorry you had to join us but you’ll find alot of lovely ladies here that will always be a great help when you are feeling you just cant cope. It is so overwhelming when you get hit with the BC diag lets hope when you get your scan results that its not as they thought it might be.
as for coping all you can do is take each day at a time (baby steps) try not to think too far ahead or you just get yourself in more of a state with the ‘what ifs’ once you know excactly what you are dealing with you’ll surprise yourself how well you do cope its the not knowing that is torture. Ive just turned 45 I think what amazed me about myself although its not old Ive seen so many young girls barely in their 20’s being diag & then I think to myself how much worse id have felt had I been in my 20’s. I cant imagine how hard it is with young children ive 3 teenagers & a 20 yr old I found that bad enough.
Crying is good its all part of it better out than in I say, right now your head is just flooded with fear & dread I know mine was too, before my surgery I was having all sorts of pains all over & imagining all sorts. Its the feeling out of control but once you have a treatment plan in place you will start feeling more in control instead of the cancer being in control of you
DON’T GOOGLE … most of the info is out of date & just scares you even more, stick to the lagit sites like this one
All the best
Mekala x
Take good care & keep posting I found it helped me no end.
Hi rainbowitch … how are you doing ? I see you’ve not been back I do hope your further to getting all the answers you need
all the best
Mekala x
Hi donnajean,
sorry to hear you’ve come to our party!
The shock at the beginning is awful; I found out a year ago that I needed a mastectomy for two large tumours (no lump, just wrinkled skin). I really thought I was going to die; it was horrible telling people. So here’s my advice: ask your sister or mum or best friend to do all the ringing around and answering questions for you.
Secondly, get rid of any other stresses in your life if possible. I was in such a state that I went off sick from work two weeks before my op. which gave me time to rest and enjoy the summer a bit, and I think I made a better recovery. Once you are into the system, it is easy to see that you are not the only one, and it does get ‘normalised’.
If you can, pamper yourself; watch movies, have scented baths etc. And now is the time to call in all your favours; it is everyone else’s job to help you through this, so let them.
You can do this; we all did. xxx
thank you every one, i am feeling a little better today as i had to get some sleeping tablets of my dr as i have not sleept since finding out, i after get my head round it then am going to fight all the way. my children are 13 and 20 yrs old but its my 20yr old thats took it the worst.well like you say next week i will no were am going with my treatmentbut i no i am starting with chemo to shrink as my lumb is so big.thanks donna