Just saying hi

[chezza1]

Hi all ,
Just found this forum .
I found a lump before Christmas but as im lumpy & the next time i checked i wasnt sure , i dismissed it . Come January im dealing with my mums imminent death so forgot about it , untill i just happened to see a puckering in the mirror when putting my deodorant on ( usually doing thi in the dark before work )
So with in the space of 3 weeks i lose mum & get diagnosed with IDC
Anyway , im just saying hi & introducing myself

[scientistamafier]

Oh @chezza1 , what a horrible time you have been having. Have a virtual hug from me.

Sorry that you have to join this community, but I hope you will find lots of support here for you.

You have had your diagnosis, but do you have your treatment plan yet? There often feels like quite a long wait between the two. Your team will be gathering more information on exactly the best method to treat you, be it surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy or some combination. When you know what the next step is you will find lots of advice from the ladies (and men) who have had similar treatment. You can also call the nurses helpline and speak to one of the lovely nurses on there.

[chezza1]

Hi , thanks for you reply & support. I had wle on friday just gone & have my follow up on march 12th , they have mentioned radiotherapy & hormone therapy, but ill know more after that appointment

[Tili]

Dear Chazzel, welcome to the forum, the club you hadn’t intended to join, we have all been there and now we are here for you.

What a terrible shock, after losing your dear mum, my heart goes out to you, keep posting with any questions you may have as there is so much love and support on this site.

Take one day at a time, at the moment remember to write down any questions or worries that you may have, your breast cancer nurse will be there to support you at your appointment.

Wishing you health and happiness going forward with lots of love.

Tili

[Tigress]

Hi @chezza1 i got diagnosed with an IDC not long after my Mum died. I had been her carer as she lived with dementia. I’m telling you, it is tough to go from one profound experience, which losing your mother is, to another. I’m sorry for your loss, in fact both of our losses.

Sounds like our treatment plan is similar - WLE, rads and endocrine treatment. You’ll get confirmation of the histology on the 12th and the treatment plan. Luckily I got away with the 5 days hyperfractionated radiotherapy and I hope you do too, if you are happy to have rads. I just wanted to say welcome, you’ll get tons of support here and you can ask any question you like. Oh and do your post surgery exercises - they’re important!

[Kay0987]

Oh Chezza. I’m so, so sorry for your loss and also of course your diagnosis. If you have any questions or just need to vent we’re here.

[chezza1]

I’ll be honest , each thing detracted from the other & i still dont really feel I’ve processed either . I’ve barely cried & apart from feeling tired , i feel “normal” I’m waiting for it to all hit me

[bluesatsuma]

Hi @chezza1. So sorry to hear about your mum and your diagnosis. I know what you mean about not properly processing it. I am the same. I think I had a wobble after my WLE but I feel normal and like I should be at work. However I can’t stop thinking about the cancer and I’m worried about next week’s results. I am expecting to just need radiotherapy and endoocrine therapy. I hope your results day comes around quickly. In the meantime you can talk to all of us as we all know what you’re going through. X

[JoanneN]

Hi @chezza1

So sorry that you’re having to go through so much all at once - I don’t know why it is that life does this to us . I was diagnosed a just a few months after losing my Mum and what I was dealing with triggered memories of her last few weeks and final illness , a fresh wave of grief combined with a touch of PTSD. Obviously I had more time to start to process between times than you but getting BC definitely interrupted the grieving process for me - if it becomes overwhelming or you’re worried that it’s slowing your recovery then please talk to someone .

At the moment you just need to get through it a day at a time - keep going and if other people ( or you) expect more emotion from you , don’t worry about that as it will come out at some point . Your body is probably prioritising your physical recovery at the moment which is how it needs to be - so I hope that you are doing ok physically and taking the time to rest .
I’ve found that when I am grieving I don’t take things in or remember them well so please take @Tili s advice and write down all your questions for when you go to your appointments and take them with you. If there’s someone sensible that can go with you who will be able to remember and write things down for you so much the better . One lady records all her appointments so that she can listen later in case she missed anything.

Wishing you all the best for your appointment on the 12th and sending love .

Joanne x

[chezza1]

Thanks Joanne, im getting plenty of rest , all i wantvto do is sleep & thats before treatment !
My hubby is very supportive & insists on coming to appointments
Once i feel stronger im going to start walking , i did it after losing my dad & it helped my mental health immensely. Ive also looked into doing smoothies to up my fruit & protein input

[JoanneN]

I have now lost my Dad as well and I have to say being outdoors in nature has helped me a lot , Dad was a big nature lover. I also like a walk though I prefer a swim and have an outdoor Yoga class which feels quite special . I’m glad that you have a supportive helpful hubby , my partner did his best but looked a bit like a rabbit in headlights at times. To be fair it was at the tail end of Lockdown and we were still being encouraged to come to appointments on our own though he did sit on phone appointments.

Nothing wrong with getting plenty of sleep xx

[Kay0987]

You haven’t processed either trauma. You haven’t had any time to do so although the time will come. I wouldn’t rush it, your brain will know when it’s time and you’ll deal with it then. We’ll be here when you need us.

[chezza1]

Thanks Kay x

[Smiley]

Hi @chezza1,

Sorry to read about what you have been going through lately. My condolences for your mum and May she rest in peace.

Thankfully you noticed that and are already being taken care of. I wish you all the best, especially a complete and speedy recovery.

Kind regards,
Olga

[pollyanna1]

Hi @chezza1, sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum, I’d think you’re probably just numb to everything at the minute, I lost my mum a number of years back and it’s hard to process. My dad has just finished treatment for bladder cancer (got his results that treatment has worked the same day I was diagnosed) which I’m his main carer. I feel I’m living in someone else’s world. had WLE on the 8th of February then needed more surgery as result of Hametoma and seroma. Got results on Monday past, no lymph node involvement and vilest Matgins. just waiting for ONCO score. Like you I’m going to start walking( small steps) and to try and eat healthier. You’re my motivation now so now I’ve said it I have to do it lol. I wish you well with your results and will be thinking about you. Sorry for the long rant xxxxxx

[talawah]

Hi @chezza1 it’s quite a shock and so soon after your mother passing. I had no idea until my routine mammogram picked it up. This is the time that you make sure you rest as much as you can. When people say, “dont worry” i find that unless you have walked my walk they have no idea. Make sure you surround yourself with family and trusted friends because you will need them getting on the other side of this diagnosis. I do wish you all the very best and my prayers are with you. Loads of love coming your way.

[laus]

Ohmg it sounds like your dealing with a lot x I lost my mum to cancer and have recently been diagnosed myself x

[bean81]

Hi, so sorry to hear about your loss and diagnosis. I’m new to messaging in the group (a hoverer😊 before), actually had my diagnosis in Nov 21, following a similar lump in a lumpy breast (previously told normal) and then noticed some puckering.
It is a lot to process and as others have mentioned, once they get the full histology back, they’ll confirm your treatment plan. After my wle and histology they added chemo into the mix for me (HER2+). Heres hoping yours is a bit more straight forward. Everyone seems so lovely, but then we’re all in this same or similar situation and it’s good to know we’re not alone, as it can feel a bit that way at times if we’re not careful x

[talawah]

@bean81 Hi i think its a wonderful group of ladies. I haven’t long signed up myself. I run a foodbank from home as we as half term shops, a knitter knatter group so that keeps me going. I think we don’t want to overload our families with our woes, and counselling can be expensive so it’s lovely to know we can message each other with encouragement. I wish you well on your journey of surviving cancer both now and for the future

[nika16]

I’m sorry that you’re having such a rough time. I know it seems like everything is happening at one time. I lost my mom Christmas Day 2011 and that was a very hard time. Take care of yourself and be sure to feel all of your feelings. This forum is great for advice, genuine concern, and comfort.