Kelly’s blog
Kelly’s blog I just wanted to thank Kelly again for her incredibly brave, honest, helpful blogs. She raises so many issues in relation to breast cancer which are seldom discussed elsewhere on the chat forums. The fact that she can’t get the financial support she needs is outrageous. Kelly - I’m about to lose my income too and I’m really worried about whether I’ll be eligible for benefits. Can you remind us on what grounds you were refused?
The way you describe how doctors and the hospital systems cause so much upset and grief really reflects my experience too. Your blog should be compulsory reading for all docs and nurses treating cancer!
I find your descriptions of your bad days really helpful too (sorry!) because the way you describe things is absolutely accurate, just the way I feel during the bad chemo weeks. It makes my experience feel more normal.
If you read this Kelly - I know what you mean about your friends too - not wanting to see them for fear of pushing them away. One of my friends offered me a loan - I’m sure your friends would want to help too. But accepting help is very difficult, isn’t it? Of course, if roles were reversed, you’d be the first offering help and a listening ear. I think you need all the support from friends you can get right now. You won’t push them away. No way.
All the best. Thanks for keeping on going with the blog.
Ravinia xx
Have you tried Macmillan? In their recent newsletter, one of their benefits specialists said that cancer patients are often turned down on the first application but she has been successful appealing on their behalf. Just an idea. I know they have a big campaign on now about finance and cancer.
Hi Ravinia,
Thank you so much for your comments and good wishes. I’m so pleased that the blog has been useful to you. When I started this, I had no idea if it would be useful to anyone or not as we all experience breast cancer in different ways. I vowed to be honest even about the grim stuff as we all have black days and shouldn’t feel guilty or a failure because of it, so I’m glad that even my ‘less than happy’ days have helped you. At times I found it very hard to write as I’d felt awful for days and thought I should have been able to be more positive but there is no point in a blog if it isn’t honest!
With regards to the grounds on which I was refused benefits; 1. I hadn’t paid enough National Insurance over the last two years to be able to claim Incapacity Benefit (and no job to claim sick pay). (Note to self, don’t ever take another job with low pay even if board, lodgings and ski hire and lift pass are included!), 2. I have a house but don’t live in it. It doesn’t matter that I make no income from it, can’t afford to live in it and have to rely on my poor old parents to support me!!
I have noted the response to your original comment and it has been suggested previously that I appeal but I have since sort expert advice and been told that the fact that I have a house that I don’t live in will stop me getting any benefit. There is no leaway to consider personal circumstances. But rest assured, in future I will claim every single penny that I may be entitled to! Previously, I’ve lived off my savings even tho’ I could have ‘signed on’. I have previously considered this ‘immoral’ simply because I had work to go to even tho’ it’s been a few months away. But I won’t make that mistake again!
My friends still surprise me and give me more support and warm cosy feelings than they can imagine! I just hope I can repay their generosity (financial and otherwise) before too long.
If you are the only person who has benefitted from my blog then it has been worthwhile but I hope there are others who gained something from it!
I apologise for being so behind most of the time but it always seems to be one step forward and then 2 steps back! I’m hoping to get my radiotherapy days completed over Christmas (much more uplifting than the chemo stuff!) and then who knows after that - what will the ‘real’ world hold?
Thanks for reading my blog over the last few months and have a Happy Christmas. No matter where you are on the breast cancer trail, I hope next year brings you more fun than this year.
Love
Kelly
xx
PS Crumbs this is longer than any of my blog entries!!
Thanks Kelly. And I sure do hope that 2007 is a helluva lot better for you than this last year has been!
I thought everyone was entitled to Incapacity Benefit if they needed it. That seems outrageous! I’ll soon have to start on the benefit application business myself. Was going to sell an old endowment policy to live on for a while but I’m in two minds about this. Think I’ll wait see what benefit people say first. Its hard to see some people living off benefits for years and not feel resentful when you’ve worked your butt off for years and then find you can’t get support!
Anyway, thanks again for all you are doing through the blog. I always look forward to the next installment.
Ginny
Know how you feel about the hair and beauty day by the way.
Not so many months ago I used to walk down the street feeling like a normal person. Now I feel so ugly I can hardly bear going out. I know that it’s more to do with how I feel rather than reality. But you can’t get any lesbian-style wigs so I HATE my wig. And hats (combined with the bags under my runny eyes) make me look like a little old lady! I know this will improve - my hair is slowly growing again - but knowing that it will improve in the future doesn’t help right now does it!
All the best.