My mum was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, goes in tomorrow for WLE and then we don’t know - the ‘thing’ is small (9mm) and it doesn’t look like it’s spread but I can’t help thinking the worse. Hospital has only mentioned surgery, radiotherapy and maybe hormones but in my head I’ve got my mum on chemo, bald, grey, ill and basically not my mum.
I am learning all the time -
Life is balanced on a knife edge - that can stab you at any time
time can go so slowly and days don’t matter any more
I am not as strong as I think I am - but I can be cos I will have to be
you sure find out who your friends are!!!
Anyone else on this journey?
Hi Gardenbabe,
If you need a listening ear then then helpline staff are here for you, just a free phone call away, 0808 800 6000, lines are open now, give them a call they’re here to support you.
Take care,
Jo, Facilitator
Gardenbabe, you’re at the stage where there are just worries and questions and no answers, where the word “cancer” immediately makes us plan funerals. But THAT FEELING WILL PASS and you’ll surprise yourself with just how quickly you get used to the idea and just get on with supporting your mum and looking after yourself (which you must remember to do).
Both you and your mum will feel a lot more in control when you’ve had some answers to all the questions. That will come after your mum’s op, as they’ll know exactly what they’re dealing with and will be able to come up with the very best treatment for her, personalised for her. In the meantime, the helpline Jo gave the number for is fantastic. Do give them a ring and ask lots of questions or just have a weep down the phone - they’ve heard it all. And they’ll point you in the direction of information if that’s what you want.
If your mum does have to have chemo, that doesn’t mean it’s “the end” for her, we get chemo to be as sure as we can be that it won’t come back. She’ll need a bit more support from you as it’s totally knackering to go through, but it CAN be done - so many of us have been there and got out the other side.
Let your mum know that you’re a bit scared, but that you’ll be there to support her and she doesn’t need to “be brave” in front of you. And I’m sure she will also be there to support you, as mums usually are.
Good luck to both of you.
CM
x
Treatments have come on over the last few years, as have the tests and the planning of treatment. If they have not mentioned chemo yet, there is quite a possibility it may not be needed, One of the important points at which they mak decisions is the path report after surgery. At that point they have the tumour, and they can be much more certain what they are dealing with.
The team will look at the test info they have, and will look at your mum and plan what they think will be the best overall course of treament.
Chemo isn’t pleasant, but is doable. My wife went through it and is now fine.
From what you have said, it looks to have been caight early and is small. It is also apparently receptive to at least one hormone, so the hormone treatments may well be overall more beneficial to er than chemo.
Hope all goes well,
Paul.
Thank you Paul - I am trying to cling onto the thought that everything we have been told has been honest and true! Results on Thursday so at least we’ll know!
Just back from the hospital - after an hour’s wait, the surgeon took about two minutes to tell us that the cancer was tiny - and is now all gone. It was also ‘not a bad one’ and three weeks of radiotherapy and tamoxifen will be belt and braces. I can’t stop crying - but tears of joy and relief.
Thank you again to everyone here for your time and responses - I know it’s not quite over yet but it isn’t what I was imagining x and big hugs to everyone who is also going through it.
That’s fab news!