I had a right mastectomy just over 6 weeks ago (having had a bad time with a left one back in 2011). My cancer was caught early this time with an MRI scan - grade 3 triple negative but only 8 mm in size. I don’t have to have chemo this time - which should be a cause for celebration - but I just feel sort of numb interspersed with anxiety and depression. It feels like any escapee cancer cells are busy latching themselves onto parts of my body. Not helped by my doctor saying I should take biphosphonates to reduce the risk of bone cancer - so now I’m worrying about bone cancer. Not helped also by the fact that I have cording and a seroma that don’t seem to be improving. I can’t talk to anyone about this as I’m “better” now, but I sometimes feel like I’m losing my mind. Of course lockdown isn’t helping things either as I can’t see a physio for my cording. I don’t know whether to take the biphosphonates or not as they can cause necrosis of the jaw but if I don’t take them I could get bone cancer. The same thoughts keep going round and round my head - I’m on furlough so maybe I just have too much time on my hands. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated.
Hi Juno
What a horrible time for you.
First of all the biphosphonates. My dental practice has a specialist dentist who works with cancer patients so I was lucky to be able to consult him as, like with you, the idea of necrosis of the jaw terrified me. He explained that it only occurs where there has been a tooth extraction and even then, it’s rare. However, they are obliged to tell us the risks! If a dental extraction is necessary, it’s done in hospital to make sure necrosis doesn’t occur. He did explain it all but you don’t need the details. If you are still doubtful, ask what % difference it makes to your situation and then decide. In my case, I felt it was essential and I had the 6-monthly zometa infusion.
Regarding the negative thoughts whirling in your mind, you may find this article helpful. It was posted by a nurse in one of the replies but it doesn’t seem to have a permanent home: workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
It’s full of great insights into the turmoil in our minds.
I don’t know if you have a Breast Cancer Haven near you but they have a lot of stuff online now, for obvious reasons, and there are some good relaxation sessions, NFL, meditations etc: breastcancerhaven.org.uk/Pages/Category/haven-at-home?utm_source=Campaign%20Monitor&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=February%20newsletter%20-%20Yorkshire&utm_content=February%20newsletter%20-%20Yorkshire+CID_901f6b5eb5952b22b78d3f5d0b90de6d&utm_source=Email&utm_term=Self-help%20films%20and%20audio
You may find something there. I’m still loyal to the YouTube video that saw me through all my treatment. It’s Progressive Hypnosis’s Manifest Healing. There are loads of videos you can plug into. Michael Sealey is very popular and his are tailored to particular states of mind. I don’t think there’s any hypnosis but it’s great relaxation and a break from the wild thoughts.
Can I end by questioning the fact that you’re ‘better’ so you can’t talk to anyone. Your breast care nurse is still available to you where you were treated and will be able to advise you on the cording. You can also ring the nurses here at the number above - they are really reassuring. I finished treatment a year ago, yet in the past two weeks I’ve spoken to two breast care nurses, received an email and two oncologists (persistent side effects) so, although it feels like they wash their hands of us and kick us into the river without a life belt, they are still here for us.
I hope something here proves useful to you. All the best in your recovery.
Jan x
Hi Juno59, I see Jaybro has replied and I think that’s great advice. Could I just add that 6 weeks on from mastectomy is still very early days in terms of recovery in my experience, it’s major surgery. This means you can hope to feel even better in the future as your body is still recovering. Cording is horrible, I had that too. As it was before covid I was able to see my surgeon and she showed me how to massage the cords, I actually felt a sort of ping sometimes, a bit yuck but a great relief. Can you ring your surgeon or their secretary for advice, or your nurse or GP? It’s important to get cording sorted as it can restrict your arm movement, which can then cause shoulder problems, so do reach out and find all the support and advice you can, everyone understands it’s a long road to full recovery physically and emotionally. All the best to you x