Life after MX

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Hi Ladies,
After three long months of waiting, l have my mastectomy booked for the 12th May, Trying to be practical! so any advice please, whether it worked for you or someone you know.

1/ I have lots of bra’s that are new or in very good condition, but will be too low cut for me to wear! any suggestions as to who or where l can send them, seems such a shame to ‘throw’ them.

2/ How long will l have a drain in, with my lumpectomy l had it for 5 days then l had aspiration for 6 weeks, is mx easier on fluid retention?

3/ I am hoping l can look at the scar straight away, in ‘normal’ life l am a head on person, but things have changed…and while l ‘think’ l am ok with the mx…do l go with ‘how l feel at the time’ or wait and not push myself too much, obviously everyone is different, but any thoughts!

4/ Is the scar ‘L’ shaped? trying to imagine it (bcn said she would see me, but as l have a lot of app. before, time is short)

5/ How soon after did you wear a bra? have purchased M & S secret vest, hoping this will be ok for a few days! but would a sports bra be better, not sure where the scar will sit! so not sure of the rubbing!

6/ The thing l think l will hate the most is when l am not wearing a bra! one flat side and one ‘normal’ any suggestions! although that will be only at night, l suppose.

7/ How long after op will l have to wait for ‘my special friend’ (thank you lupin) Heard lots of comments about the weight of them! not sure about that, surely it has to weigh the same as the ‘normal’ breast!

8/ Do l need a spare ‘special friend’ are they washable? are they supplied foc from nhs, or do l need to purchase a couple, also are there better, more comfortable ones sold privately?

9/ Do they sit right! l can imagine the bra riding up with nothing fixed! if you know what l mean.

10/ All going well, it was suggested by someone on the forum, that l would start chemo a couple of weeks later! is that time about right?

So many questions going on in my head, but these are the ones that have come to mind today!
Hugs to All
Sandra xxx

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Hi Sandra

In addition to the valuable info your fellow users will add, i thought you may find our publication ‘Your operation and recovery’ useful to read:

breastcancercare.org.uk/upload/pdf/your_op_and_recovery_07_web_0.pdf

Best wishes for your upcoming surgery
Lucy

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Hi Sandra
You are being much more practical than me…never even crossed my mind.
You will be given a softy first…this is a washable lightweight boob. You get your real one…wrong word prosthesis later. It does feel strange at first but i am now 5 years down the line and i donot even think about my special friend as i call it. Feels just like part of my body. Your breast nurse will make an appointment at a later date about getting your special friend which will balance you out nicely.The Breast nurses are great at getting this right. I lost weight so had to down size my little friend. You can buy them but they are really exspensive. Different areas have different policys on replacements so you will have to ask about that.
As to looking at my scar…i was really taken back at what a great neat scar i have. It did not upset me but everyone is different. I think it upset my husband more.
Bras you do have the choice of buying or having pockets put in bras. I have had pockets put in some bras…but the style you need was very had to find as i only have small frontage. I now tend to buy when the sales are on and have had to bite the bullet and just pay more. The bras do sit better once you have your proper little friend as the weight keeps the bra down in line with your other boob.
The drain will depend on you and your body i had mine in for 5 days before i left the hospital.
As for when you might start chemo i am not sure…best to ask at your next appointment or ring your breast nurse.
Hope i have helped you and i am sure other ladies will have more advice on this topic. Good luck for your operation and the rest of your treatment.

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Sandra - have a look at this site breastfree.org/
It is very very good.

Ok - I had a mastectomy when I was first dx - and 13 days ago I had the other one off because I hated having just one boob.

1)Don’t chuck them just yet - you may be able to wear them. Wait till you have recovered and then experiment. Otherwise bras in good condition are always welcomed by charity shops - Cancer Research perhaps!

2)My first mx took a long time to drain - but the maximum amount of time they will allow the drain in for is 5 days because of risk of infection. With first mx in 2008 they said it had to be less than 20mls in a day. They removed it day 5 and I got a seroma that had to be drained - just a needle aspiration at the hospital. With this mx they have increased the amount of drainage to 50mls in a day. I had it removed on day 3. And so far so good. A tip - as soon as you can bear it, lie in bed on your mx side with a pillow supporting you it will help disperse the fluid quicker.

3)I am really enjoying being boobless - very liberating! How you will feel will depend on how fond you are of your boobs and what you are like with scars. It really isn’t so bad - because there is no nipple you don’t look like a bloke or a child. It takes time to get used to the feeling of your rib cage directly under your skin. You will be numb in parts but feeling does return in most places.

4)No it isn’t L shaped - with my bilateral it is almost like the smile a child would draw - it goes up at the ends when it gets to your underarm. Well mine does anyway. May not be the same for all.

  1. Never been a fan of bras and went braless for ages after first one and now I am not wearing anything at all. There are some very soft post-surgery bras that I wore when recovering from rads - I bought them in a specialist lingerie shop but I am afraid I can’t recall the name. Try to avoid anything with underwiring because that really does rub.

  2. Sorry can’t help - that is one of the reasons I had this one off too because being a monoboob drove me insane.

  3. They give you a softy straight away. Then my I got my prosthesis 6 weeks later.

8)They are very expensive to buy - there are ones you can get that stick to you and very lightweight ones and ones for swimming. All manner of types. I never bothered to buy any - I just used the one the NHS gave me. I didn’t feel the need to have a spare!

  1. Prostheses are quite heavy and so they weigh as much as a boob and don’t ride up. The softy one does though - that was useless.

  2. Yes - if you are healing well and there are no other problems you can start chemo. 2 weeks seems a bit fast though - I think I had a month between surgeries and chemo.

Just my personal take on the whole mastectomy thing. I am sure others will have different opinions and advice. Good luck!

PS: BCC Mods can we please have a section dedicated to mastectomies and living breast free? We have a reconstruction section but nowhere on the forum for those of us electing not to reconstruct. Ta!

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HI Sandra
I had bilat mastectomies in Feb (no recons) so I can’t give any hints on life with one boob. However, my experience differed a little from msmolly’s in relation to drains - I had mine in for 9 nine days with 10 days given as cut off for infection risk. The drain part was the most difficult bit for me post operatively as it was very sore at the sites where the drains were stitched in, and I found it difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position. However, you will have a drain in just one side so this shouldn’t be so much of an issue. After the drains were removed, I had seromas both sides with about 4 aspirations either side. My right side seroma resolved after I developed an infection following aspiration number 3. My left side seroma has only just resolved (I think - fingers crossed)11 weeks post op. It seems to be very variable whether seromas develop or not - so chances are that you will not get one. My scars are straight across rather than L shaped - although they do have a slightly bumpy, puckered appearance. I had a swollen ‘cushion’ under my arm at the end of each scar which worried me a bit at first but that has also got a lot less.
I also found the breastfree.org site very helpful. Good luck with it all - give yourself a good long time to recover.
Cheers
Maggy

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Hi Sandra, you are very practical, half of the things you ask I never thought of till afterwards.
First the scar and looking at it. I was like you and thought I don’t know if I will be able to look at it. But what happened, they bought me back from theatre and my husband and daughter were waiting in the waiting room. The nurse said "shall we get you out of the hospital gown and put a nightie on for your visitors " so I said ok and forgot what I was doing and looked straight at it lol. Anyway it didn’t look half has bad has I expected, and like one of the other ladies said it looks like half a smiley face :slight_smile: The thing I didn’t know at the time was my daughter was scared at when she would be able to look at. Well I was in a room of my own, the nurse bought my daughter and husband in, and I opened up the front of my nightie and said "look its gone " my daughter told me afterwards I didn’t give her chance not to look at it lol. The thing is I didn’t want to lose my breast, but I didn’t want cancer either, so I was so pleased when it was gone. Another thing is if you can, get a nightie that buttons down the front, a lady on here gave me that tip and it makes them easier to look at your wound. I just bought a few from Primark, they were lovely bright colours.
The drain, I came home the next day and the district nurse came in everyday to empty the bottles. The hospital gave me a little bag to carry the bottles round with me, and they were both out on the fifth day.
Having only one breast, well I got some vest tops from BHS and they had some just bra tops that held my other breast quite firm, and I had loads of pretty scarves and I used to put them round my neck and let a long piece of the scarf drape were my breast should be, and nobody ever knew I had just one breast. I use to keep it in place with a pretty brooch, you can get some nice brooches now, my daughter went looking for them for me everywhere, and it was only last year I had my MX. I don’t know were you live, but in the shopping centre I go to they have stalls down the middle, and there is quite a few sell scarves.
Bras, I should keep yours until you know if you can use them or not, I couldn’t. So I took the new ones to a local charity shop. I do use mastectomy bras I didn’t get on with just putting the prosthesis in a bra, but I know a lot of ladies do, it is just what your comfortable with. I buy my bras off the internet, and I have had no problems.
The prosthesis, like another lady said they give you a softy, but I didn’t really use that much, I was more comfortable with my scarves. I got the proper prosthesis about 6 weeks later. I got an appointment and the nurse did a fitting, I am not that slim so mine is quite heavy lol but it doesn’t bother me. I have just had another one because I have put some weight on since I have been on Arimidex. I just rang the breast care nurse, they made me an appointment and measured me up and gave me a new one. oh and they don’t ride up.I have never bought one, I just wash this in warm soapy water.
I was about 6 weeks before I started my chemo, but I am not sure if all hospitals are the same.
Anyway Sandra, ask away if there is anything else you can think of, I know how your feeling, there is so many things whizzing round in your head, but it does help when you can get some things sorted in your mind.
Take care
Heather

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Hi There Sandra,
I lived for 7 years with one boob and felt fine, as you know I’ve just had the other one removed. Neither time did I have a seroma, the drains came out after 5 days. My actual shape is fairly symmetrical now although I am still swollen on the new side and a bit sore.
I have one L shaped scar and one straight one. The older L shaped one is now white and smooth, the other one (4 weeks on is still reddish) Maybe you can look at it when the nurse does the dressing. I look at mine now in a small mirror, so I cannot see my face or body at the same time. I must admit it took me some time to look at myself in a full length mirror.
I have a bra with one proper silicone falsy and a sponge one on the other side, which I put on for the first time when I left the hospital (day 6). I have now ordered the “proper” one for the new side. There are all sorts of sizes, weights etc. Once all is comfortable one that weighs the same as the other one is best. (OK how do you weigh the other one…?) Usually they are washed with warm soapy water and dried with a towel.
Chemo usually starts 4 to 6 weeks post op. (mine is 5)
I don’t think I can add any more to that which everyone has answered you so far, but I am always happy to answer a specific question.
One step at a time, girl, one step at a time.
Love and hugs
Maria

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Hi There Sandra,
I lived for 7 years with one boob and felt fine, as you know I’ve just had the other one removed. Neither time did I have a seroma, the drains came out after 5 days. My actual shape is fairly symmetrical now although I am still swollen on the new side and a bit sore.
I have one L shaped scar and one straight one. The older L shaped one is now white and smooth, the other one (4 weeks on is still reddish) Maybe you can look at it when the nurse does the dressing. I look at mine now in a small mirror, so I cannot see my face or body at the same time. I must admit it took me some time to look at myself in a full length mirror.
I have a bra with one proper silicone falsy and a sponge one on the other side, which I put on for the first time when I left the hospital (day 6). I have now ordered the “proper” one for the new side. There are all sorts of sizes, weights etc. Once all is comfortable one that weighs the same as the other one is best. (OK how do you weigh the other one…?) Usually they are washed with warm soapy water and dried with a towel.
Chemo usually starts 4 to 6 weeks post op. (mine is 5)
I don’t think I can add any more to that which everyone has answered you so far, but I am always happy to answer a specific question.
One step at a time, girl, one step at a time.
Love and hugs
Maria

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Thank you Ladies,
I have plenty of bedtime reading now!
All looks very informative, never thought of the charity shops for my bra’s! to be honest l didn’t think they would take them! (thought they didn’t take underwear) obviously l got that wrong! so Thank you, l can peruse at my leisure! with a pen and paper to take notes!
as the brain doesn’t let much sink in these days.
Sandra xxx

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Hi Sandra - just thought I’d add to the other positive comments on here about coping with mx… I had my first mastectomy 15 years ago at age 35 - and have just had my other one removed by choice. I used to joke that I wouldn’t have reconstruction but if I reached 50 I’d have a facelift instead - I ended up not having the facelift but deciding to have my other breast removed to have symetry. That said, we all feel differently and you must be guided by your own feelings. At the moment, just take the time to look after yourself and take one day at a time. After the operation, I woke up feeling fine post-operatively and was discharged home on the same day with a drain in place. The drain is easy to manage but not so nice to have attached to you - mine has to stay in for ten days. I wish I’d been more prepared to cope with it at home - for example having some ribbon in the bathroom easilly at hand so I could tie the drain to the shower handle! I have been lucky and managed pain with paracetamol. I was happy to look at my scar immediately (I did so during the first surgery too). My scar looks good. Although I will say that after a couple of days be prepared for quite a bit of bruising to appear - mine has been quite extensive. I remember the first time looking down at the brusing and feeling horrified. However, as this is my second time, I know that the brusing is short lived and will soon be replaced by a scar that doesn’t look as disfiguring as some people would lead you to think. I have never, ever felt ‘disfigured’ and feel as feminine as ever - don’t forget you are still a woman, breasts or no breasts. Your breast care nurses should give you all the advice about bras, prosthesis etc. I get my ‘soft’ breast form later this week - it is worn until the scar heals. This afternoon I went onto the amoena website and ordered a couple of pretty camisoles with inbuilt pockets to put the soft prosthesis (called breast form) into. I also took arnica before and after the operation and wonder whether this has helped me not to have too much pain. I wish you lots of luck and good wishes for the operation. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and vibes…
PS - to the moderator - I too would like to see a forum dedicated to women who have had mastectomy and choose to live without reconstruction.

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Hi Suzywoozey
I was surprise and interested that after 15 years you decided to have the other breast removed! was there a reason for the 15 year gap?
I purchased the camisole in built bra’s from Marks and Spencers, but will look on the amoena website
Thank you
Take Care
Sandra xxx

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Not sure where this came from…I had been quite good all day, got into bed just after 1am, and the tears came in floods! so decided to get up and here l have sat in the chair all night, not in tears, just sitting! realisation of what is going to happen? thought l had got my head round it, but l suppose we never do, and sometimes it comes up and gets us. My husband leaves for work in the early hours! he must be exhausted, because he sat with me, neither of us saying much, but both with our own thoughts. And now he has left for work, he will be good for nothing all day! and me…hopefully l can have a nice sleep, while the surgeon does his job!
Sandra xxx

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Sandra
If you are not yet asleep. I’m here thinking about you
Hugs and more
Maria

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Sandra tell me about Baily, I knew you were special, right down to your dog.
Love and more
Maria

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Hi Maria,
No such luck as to sleep! just done some ironing, going to have a nice bath soon.
My Bailey…8 years ago l had two American Cocker Spaniels, sadly one died, a week later l went into a pet shop to buy food with Bliss who is a real softy, the lady asked if their little dog could say ‘hi to Bliss’ and out came this 12 week old pup, still covered in blood from his op the previous day, stitches all down his front looking very sad! she told me someone had stolen all their pups a few weeks earlier, while taking ‘Bailey’ they broke his tail and dropped him causing a fractured front leg. They sold him to a lady, who knew the leg was broken, but said she was hoping it would ‘mend’ needless to say Bailey was putting weight on the broken leg and it set at an angle, someone reported her to the police for cruelty, and ‘Bailey’ was returned to the petshop, along with some of the other stolen pups. The lady in the petshop decided she would pay to try and have his leg reset, but sadly it didn’t work, so the leg was amputated!
This was where l came in, walking into that petshop…My Bliss rolled on her back and Bailey licked her and that was it!! The lady asked if l could give him a home!! What could l say? They are the best of buddies, Bailey still washes Bliss everyday!
He has a heart murmur, and only weighs 7lbs, but other than that he is as bright as a button and both are very much loved! and very well known in our area!!
Lots of Hugs
Sandra xxx

PS. Thank you Maria, for taking my mind off ME!! XXX