liver and bone mets

hi

I was diagnosed in March 2011 after losing mum to breast cancer and subsequently secondaries in my liver. For 3 and1/4 years I have kept this at bay now to find that the liver tumours and growing and multiple deposits in my bones…  I am now on denosumab for bone strengthing and gem carbo chemotherapy for the liver as well as calcium and vit d tablets   Has anyone had any success on this,  trying to stay positive as my daughter is getting married in October but its hard when I think I probably wont see the other two kids make it down the aisle.  Do I tell my 12 year old the truth - he asked me today where my cancer had recurred to and I tried to keep it light saying its trying to break out in my liver, but he’s not stupid and will start asking too many questions that i’m not ready to truthfully answer yet.    Also do I tell my girls now (19 and 21) or wait till after the wedding - dont want to be a party pooper.  Its so hard to stay positive, help!

Hi Polly, so sorry to hear your news but you’ve come to the right place. There are many people here who can help you and offer advice. I don’t have mets in my liver but I have children - 17 and 13 and know exactly what you are going through. It is not up to us to decide whether you tell them or not but I think before you do you need to get things clear in your own mind first. Certainly with your older children they might guess and when you get to those days when you just can’t hide how you feel they will worry more I think if they don’t know. Yes, you’ve had progression but there are many medicines and treatments out there which are developing all the time so I think you should stay positive. You might find the stress of keeping it from your children more difficult than telling them. However this must be your call. There is no right or wrong here. We decided to be upfront and honest with ours from the beginning in 2010 when I was first dx. Yes, it’s been hard and we’ve had a lot of tears but I don’t have to pretend around them as there have been some days on chemo which have been very difficult for me.

Sending you huge hugs Polly - keep positive you’ve got a wedding to look forward to.
Hxxx

Hi Polly and welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure the support will continue

Here’s a link to the secondary support and information BCC can offer you including our ‘Live chat’ which I hope you find helpful:

breastcancercare.org.uk/secondaries

Our helpliners are on hand with further practical and emotional support on 0808 800 6000 weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2

Take care
Lucy BCC