Living in limbo

Hello all!
Just feeling a bit miserable tonight. Had a primary in 2013 and another in 2017 followed by secondary diagnosis in 2021 ( every 4 years wierdly!).
Have Mets in spine, ribs and pelvis also in liver. After initial shock and chemotherapy I am now on fulvestrant and abemaciclib. Also have pseudo cirrhosis as result of chemotherapy.
Anyway have felt ok for a while once you realise your not dying today, this week etc.
However, now feeling like I ‘m living in limbo and unsettled. Any suggestions?
Love to all of you in the secondary club x x

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Sorry about that! I’m in a similar situation, except that i’m now on Xeloda, after ribociclib+letrozole progression.
I have mets to bones and liver since 2022.
First diagnosed is 2018.
My mood is up and down too…a day I’m hopeful and next one I’m desperate.
I just try to keep busy by cooking, exercise, drawing…and think about it less possibile.
Also when I’m down I just try to think I should survive as long as possible for new cures to pop out, that what keep me out of despair!
Best wishes from Italy!


First time posting here.
Im in the secondary gang too.
Breast cancer in 2020, lovely way to spend lockdown.
Then last year secondary found in hip, spine and rib.
Radiotherapy to rib and spine went well and on ibrance for hip with daily letrozol and 3 monthly zoladronic.
Have days were its all i can think about and yes feel very much like its a cloud of how long have i got, but also days were im positive.
It is all abit crap if im honest but i just take it days, weeks at a time.


Hello @onwardandupward

It’s awful being in limbo I’m in it at the moment head spirals around and I stress and don’t get much done in my day. Feel like I am on edge all of the time and am getting snappy. Been reading and there is alot to be said for a positive mental attitude. Easier said than done some days. I’ve found the Secret Smile Meditation by Ari Whitten and about to do it this morning to get me back on track today so thought I would share this info with you and all the lovely ladies one here.

Like you say onwards and upwards
Wishing you all well xx


Hi, thanks for your reply. It helps to know others feel the same! Yes, I try to keep busy too and sometimes I can keep myself distracted other times is more difficult.
Spring is on its way so that will help too.
Take care
Ali x


Wishing you well, it’s just difficult sometimes but more good days than bad. Take care Ali x


Hi Ladies,

I can relate to all of your comments. The emotional aspects of dealing with a secondary diagnosis have been much harder for me than the physical.

I try to stay occupied mentally and physically and ensure i spend time doing things i enjoy, from holidays to simple things like pottering in the garden or laughing at the antics of my dog.

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The emotional aspect is definitely more difficult to deal with than the physical at the moment. I think I’m going through my paranoid stage. I have secondaries in my hip, rib and spine and now find that whenever I get a new ache or pain that is not in these areas I wonder if the cancer has spread. I know I’ll find out at my three monthly scan so when I’m feeling positive I feel that it will be what it will be and not to worry about things beyond my control. When I’m not feeling positive I convince myself that the cancer is on the rampage and I worry about how much time I’ve got left.

I too try to do the things that I enjoy doing and have recently returned to work albeit on much less hours than I was doing before. I’m trying to get back to business as usual:)


I know the feeling honestly

Good to hear from you. Yes, keeping busy helps. I like knitting and trying to learn Italian, anything that requires full concentration! Take care and hopefully more good days than bad :blush:. Ali

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I think the emotional part of secondary cancer is definitely the worst. Especially when cancer is all over the news.

I find exercise is my salvation I view it the stronger I am the better my body will work with the treatment.


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