Lobular Depressed want to feel better
what helped you i am depressed, trouble sleeping, sad, NED, seeing psyc and therapist
can’t forget about lobular breast cancer. How did you stop thinking about it, help me and others.
Praying for all of us.
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Hello katt,
Sorry to hear you are struggling right now, anxiety and low mood, struggling to sleep isnt nice. I too have lobular. Pleased to hear you are reaching out with a therapist and now on here, thats the hard part, but you are doing well, i just wanted to let you know, you are not alone in this journey.
Breast cancer now have a helpline with wonderful ladies who are brilliant, helpful in so many ways.
I too struggled to begin with, but once i knew my treatment plan/ process was able to move forward, along with counselling.
Im sure someone with the same prognoises as us will pop on soon and share.
Please keep in touch
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Hi Katt. I’ve just had my 1st clear check , I’m lobular .
Where are you up to with your treatment ?
You said NED , so out of active treatment?
I know it’s hard but have you tried exercise ?
Even getting out for a walk can make me feel better .
Some local authorities have services that you can be referred to for life after cancer.
It’s hard , we all understand x
Thank you, i do exercise but got foot drop and fell last month. the most difficult for me is worry, im trying to stop it its been many years . get help now, dont think psyc can help the meds have more side effects that’s why im asking for help the way i did it does not help me. i pray to God to help. love and saying a prayer for you
How are you feeling @Katt? I’m sorry you’re going through so much.
I replied to you on a different thread to say that the forum and our breast care nurses are here for you. Please don’t hesitate to give our nurses a call to chat things through. You can get in touch with them on our helpline 0808 800 6000 which is open Monday to Friday 9am-4pm and 9am-1pm Saturday.
As I mentioned in my other post, the Samaritans are also here - not just for times of crisis - to lend a listening ear 24/7 on 116 123.
It’s great that you’re seeing a therapist, would you feel comfortable asking them for extra support during this time?
Thinking of you,
Lucy
Thanks I feel so depressed, i hate feeling that way and don’t know how to stop it. i usually exercise 1st thing in morning but have not as of 8am. but going now. the drs here are very clinical- negative. i want to run away. i really feel im sitting here waiting to go to heaven. that might be a good place to go to but now when as i guess im pretty healthy except for the anxiety and fear. thanks for your help. the really sad thing is this may never comeback so i keep worrying and im wasting
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my time. i’m in Honolulu and a lot of family is in new york. i have very limited support system here. i go to bible classes but the people say that since im anxious then God is unhappy. i dont want to make God unhappy.
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Hi @Katt I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.
As you mention that you’re in Hawai’i, our breast care nurses can only give clinical advice based on medical care in the UK. However, the forum is always here for you and I hope you can find some comfort and support here.
It is completely valid to feel anxious, and something many people here can identify with, and would never judge you for.
You mention that you have a limited support system where you are, please know that Hawai’i has a national 24/7 helpline here to talk through how you’re feeling anytime. You can reach them by calling or texting 988, they have more information on their website: https://hicares.hawaii.gov/
We’re thinking of you,
Lucy
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I’m sorry @Katt but I think it’s wrong for the people in your bible class to try to use God to make you feel bad. To me that’s not a very Christian thing to do and it’s arrogant of them to assume to know how God would feel about you being anxious . I’m sorry perhaps I should not be advising you on religion as I’m not really a practicing Christian now though I do go to church sometimes and I am spiritual but I was brought up to believe that God is love and that being the case would show you compassion. Some people who have been through the cancer journey have been told ( sometimes shouted at ) by family and friends that they should be grateful they have survived and to get back to normal and live their lives - what you have experienced sounds very similar to me. Most of us who have been there know it’s not that easy and sometimes you just need to work through it. The anxiety may never quite leave you but hopefully it should become easier with time. Thinking of you. Xx
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Hello @Katt
I totally agree with @JoanneN that the people in your bible class should not be accusing you of making god sad because you are anxious and depressed. Nobody should ever deny another person their feelings and try to make them feel bad about themselves for being a human and struggling to deal with a trauma like living with illness and undergoing gruelling treatment. You need people who love you and support you and show you understanding and empathy - not people who judge you and then accuse you of making god unhappy!
In fact, I would say that their behaviour and attitude towards you and your feelings is the total opposite to how god would want them to behave and their behaviour sounds like bullying in the name of religion to me.
Is there perhaps another bible study group you can join? Or another church? Somewhere where the people show more kindness and understanding and can offer you genuine support.
Xx
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Thank You for your thoughts. i have a lot of anxiety and stomach pain probably from the anxiety. when i was dx i freaked out and asked for double mastectomy. then saw oncologist who said not to take chemo. then she called me on the phone and said she would give me chemo cause i agreed to radiation.
i didn’t have chemo and now i regret it. i’m in remission and at the 5 year scans it was no evidence of disease and i said, that’s good and she said yes. so i said “so do you think i will be ok? “ she said” id never say that because im superstitious .” then she sent me to the pcp!
i think she should have been more encouraging and compassionate.
i have anxiety, i get stomach pain from the anxiety and it’s 7 years. i have spent too much time reading on the internet.
Anyone have similar situation and found a way out?
Thank you🩷🩷🩷
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Firstly avoid googling ! In the UK Breast Cancer Now run a Moving Forwards course which many of us find helpful - mine was online and a lady joi ed who was in Australia so it might be accessible. Others have found help from things like counselling cognitive behaviour therapy or mindfulness .My recommendation would be to get out in nature if you can as often as you can. It sounds as though they were on the fence a bit with the chemo so hard to say how much benefit there would have been . The uncertainly can be very difficult but the truth is that that is life - there are no guarantees about anything it’s simply that we fool ourselves into believing that there are . Your Oncologist could have been more tactful but it would have been wrong for her to promise something about that’s not within her or anybody’s control but reading between the lines it does sound as though she thinks it’s unlikely . I think we all have moments when we feel anxious about it - not sure if that ever really goes . For me having cancer has given me more of a lust for life - I’m seeing a lot of live music and have taken up new hobbies which is good for me because it keeps me in the moment and means I’m not in my head all the time which is something to be always been prone to do. Always over thinking but it seems s to be getting less xx
Hey @Katt
I have thought of something that might help. Whilst nobody can give you a solid guarantee is there anything you have a question about / are unsure about / think you might not quite understand ? Sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know.
I had some lingering fears relating to my failed VAE and my BCN arranged for me to talk these through with the Radiologist who did the procedure and it was an enormous help. If you could get in touch with your Oncologist or family Doctor and get them to go through it with you - make notes as well so that you don’t forget. If you look it full in the face you can filter out everything you’ve learned on Google that doesn’t apply to you and perhaps make peace with it. You’re seven years out and counting as well so that has to be worth something. Xx
Hi Joannne, Thank You, i was turned over to the pcp. the oncologist took me off the Anestrozole at 4 years. i didn’t want to but she insisted. The new pcp said i am cured and i wont die of BC …… it will probably be Heart disease. They seem to want to give me more things to worry about. i am going to have cataract surgery july 31.
I attempted to ask the oncologist to explain it all to me but she wouldn’t.
i tried to get the moving forward class
but since im not in UK, i couldn’t get any info.
what was the best part of the class? Is there a website to go to? i have attended some CBT And DBT classes but didn’t help much. i’d like to get better at meditation.
thank you for your suggestions.
if there is a way to take the class, i’d like to do it. love and prayers katt
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I don’t know what pcp means…
Iinitially with the Moving Forwards course it was helpful to know that we were all struggling so what I was feeling was normal. There was also a talk from someone who had been through breast cancer and treatment and was still well and cancer free over 20 years later . Certain resources were released to us that helped .
I think they went the wrong way about it telling you you will probably die of heart disease instead but that means that they think your risk from breast cancer is very small.
I attend a mindfulness class at a Buddhist centre which I find helpful - it’s quite hard doing it alone and it helps me to appreciate the moment and to worry less which is something I’ve always been prone to ( my Mum used to say that I was never happy unless I had something to worry about ) . You don’t have to be Buddhist to join the class - most of us aren’t . When I think of the be time I’ve wasted worrying about things that turned out not to be important not to mention the opportunities I’ve missed out on - well I regret it and I think you will regret it too if you don’t find a way to live without being consumed by anxiety . I wish I knew what to say that would help you .
I hope your cataract surgery goes well Katt . I’m taking a break from the forum as a wholeso sending a hug and wishing you all the best xx
some one said i should try the moving forward class.
i dont know if im qualified and i dont know if it would help since its 7 years and not much has helped in this time.
All i know is i do the things that i’ve been told to do, take the medications go to bible class.
can you answer me if i send you text?
i do see the therapist but its not helping too well. when i get anxiety at this level, i dart to have bad thoughts. that makes me feel worse.