Looking at Mastectomy Scar for first time
Looking at Mastectomy Scar for first time I have just just finished chemo (6x FEC) - hooray!!! - and am now inline for a mastectomy and full lymph node clearance as I have at least 2 nodes affected according to my SNB.
I am most fearful of looking at my missing breast after the op - I am frightened at what it will look like and how I will cope. I have looked at some piccies on websites which are OK but can’t imagine looking down at myself looking like that - the only bit of my body I ever liked was my boobs so I’m a bit gutted!
So - my quesitons are… when wake up from the op, can you see the scar? Are there wadges of bandages that you can’t see through until they re-dressed or is it more like the sticky plasters you can see through straight away?
I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on how you coped and how you felt when you first took a look…
Many Thanks
Helen
Hello Helen
I hope I can help. I found that as I am an artist who specialised in figurative sculpture, that I used visualisation techniques before my op. By this I mean I used my imagination to get an idea. You could try putting a horizontally placed hand over you breast and look down, that will give you a reasonalbe idea before. I didn’t look at pickies before and I am glad because when I did afterwards, some of them were far uglier than my neat but large scar.
Dressings may vary. I had a simple elastoplast type one across the full length of the scar. Just remembered, I kept this on for several days so it got a bit wiffy (like stale menstrual blood) sorry but I am being honest with you. I think the reason is to disturb the wound as little as poss. And it was worth it as I had no infection at all and healed really well.
You will have a drain in place from under your armpit. Some have 2 not sure why. This can stay in for up to 10 days as mine did. Basically they take it out once it has stopped draining as much. Don’t be too active as this makes your body produce even more fluid and the drain stays in for longer. I came out of hospital with mine in and it was emptied by a district nurse each day and eventually removed by her and I hardly felt it.
Depending on your size (I was a little overweight) you may have what is known as a dog ear, charming description!) This is an area of fatty tissue at the end of the scar, under your armpit towards your back. Apparently they can be removed at a later date. My BC nurse said there is no reason why we need to end up with these and puts it down to male surgeons not having breasts! I intend to ask for mine to be removed if/when I have a reconstruction.
I don’t know how you found the FEC but I had a rough time with it and found that getting over my mastectomy was far easier. I was in hosp for 2 1/2 days post op. I was nervous about going home but so glad I did, so much more comfortable in my own bed and away from hosp routine of lights out and back on at stupid times. It helped having the support of a district nurse who listened to all my whoes and was a shoulder to cry on.
You may get very tearful. This is perfectly natural, I was mourning my loss.
I have only one regret to electing to have a mastectomy, and that was I never asked where the scar would be and it is quite high up making a reconstruction possible but my cleavledge will be scared. So ask where yours will be as I see from your profile that you are planning a reconstruction.
I hope this has helped and let me know if you need anymore help.
Irene
Sorry Helen, you also asked about looking at your scar for th first time. As the dressing was on for a few days, I had gotten used to my new shape before seeing the scar and I think this helped as it was just neat, straight line with internal stitches. There was the dog ear already mentioned and at the other end near my breast bone it also stuck up a little bit but this has flattened now.
You will be encouraged to look at it straight away by the nurse who removes your dressing.
If you are in a relationship there may be an issue with them looking at your scar. Some partners want to be involved for the start, helping with bathing and dressing care. My OH could not look at mine for 6 wks coz he’s a whimp with cuts etc. When he finally did, he thanked me for giving him the time to look when he was ready. I got good advise on here on how to deal with this issue.
Irene
Hi Helen
I too was gutted to loose my breast, was expecting a subcutanious/skinsparing one at first, so I coped thinking that externally it would be the same, then I got a new primary so had to have a simple mast plus chemo plus rads to start July…so I too was really scared to look but I did straight away in the hospital bathroom…It made me feel very sad to be honest, rather than anything else…but I was kept ok by thinking to myself it is the only way to get rid of the breast cancer…My scar is very neat, I don’t have a ‘dog ear’, it is very close to the other boob so I think after my recon, lower cut tops would be out, but I never wore them anyway so no loss there…I had internal stitches and glue.
gOOD LUCK
Hi Helen,
Everybody is different I think so my account applies to me but may be very different from other peoples.
I say this because personally I did not find losing my breast traumatic in itself - the BC diagnosis was traumatic but I have always seen the mastectomy as the removal of something that had the potential to kill me. I did worry about what would actually happen when I saw the scar but it was a complete anti-climax as it was absolutely fine, just a neat scar where my breast was. My dressings were not removed until I went back to the clinic 2 weeks later, however, as the area was flat and there was just a piece of tape along the scar it was pretty obvious what it looked like. Like one of your other replies, my scar was far neater than the pictures I had seen beforehand.
Since then I have not been worried by the scar although I am still in the midst of treatment so when that is all over I may be a little sad for the body that was there before.
My partner has also been incredibly supportive, he has never been one who has put appearances over what is inside (which is just as well!) and is not at all queasy about operations, scars etc. which I think has helped me.
Whatever your reaction though it is completely normal and right for you, at the end of the day it is really difficult to try and imagine how you might react or feel.
Take care,
Pauline x
Hello Helen,
I looked at my scar two days after operation…well, scar and scar. I couldn’t see anything because I had a white plaster running the length of the scar but I was really upset…nothing could have prepared me for how I felt, I had even tried imagining how it would look when I still had two to look at. Sorry to be honest.
I had a nurse with me when I looked and straight after we tried on soft boobs and then I got to feel the silicone boob that sits there until reconstruction time comes around… I have to say I was FASCINATED by the feel of the silicone booby…just like a giant jelly baby!
I came home and had to keep the dressing on for 10 days…after that I asked my hubby to be with me when I looked at the real scar… we were both as nervous as each other and I cried my eyes out after seeing it the first time but then I made sure that I looked EVERY day…and it has become a little easier to look at although I must admit I Don’t get any pleasure from looking at myself!
I only had a drain in for the time I was in hospital, they then took it out and I have been up to the hospital several times to get emptied.
I had my mastectomy four weeks ago… felt like poo for the first two weeks after the op but now I am back behind the wheel of the car, been in the garden doing some hedge clipping, taking nice walks and playing with my children (3 and 1).
You are going to be fine, even though at times you won’t think so and remember there are ALWAYS people around who will listen to you.
The very best of luck to you xxx
I loved my boobies too! Hi Helen,
just wanted to say that I know exactly where you are coming from as I loved my boobies too. In fact, they were prob the one part of my body that I was totally happy with! I had a right masctectomy and total node clearance at the end of march. Like you, I looked at post mastectomy pics on the internet with my boyfriend before I had my op in an attempt to ‘prepare’ ourselves. I knew I couldn’t have a recon until I finish all treatment. To be honest, although I didn’t find these pics too bad I did wonder how on earth I would ever be able to look at myself again, let alone like myself.
I cried loads as I was taken down for my op, and remember saying to my boyfriend that I was going to wake up a totally different person. I was v.upset as I went under anaesthetic as I couldn’t bear the thought of what I was going to look like when I woke up.
I really needn’t have worried, and thats the honest truth! When I woke up, I was so relieved that the tumour had been removed I really wasn’t as bothered about losing the boob as I imagined. Yes, I loved that boob and was sad it was no longer there, but that very same boob could’ve killed me and I have never lost sight of that. I mourned the loss of the boob but felt it was a small price to pay for my health. I surprised myself to be honest.
I found I was very curious to see what I looked like and after telling the nurses initally that I wasn’t ready to look I soon found my curiousity got the better of me! The second time my dressings were changed I was able to look and was actually pleasantly surpsrised at what I saw. The scar was much much neater than I had imagined and really wasn’t bad at all. It was defo something I could live with until my recon. The nurses, particularly my bc nurse, had said that the sooner I looked the better really however I felt in no way pressured. I had to do it in my own time, I just found that ‘my own time’ was actually sooner than expected. The dressings were long and narrow and I had 2 drains in.
My boyfriend didn’t see that scar until I got discharged 6 days later. My dressings needed changing and he was more than willing to help. I think it made him feel useful and less helpless, if you know what I mean. His reaction to me was fab and I was so relieved.
I wish you well with your forthcoming op. Please do stay in touch and let us know how you get on,
Take care,
Kelly
-x-
Thanks! Thanks so much for all your posts - I am so greatful to you for sharing how you felt - and appreicate your honesty. I guess, like all of this journey we are all on, we react differently but it does so help to hear you are not in it alone and to hear how others have coped and so you know you can too. It makes me realise that I know I can cope and it doesn’t matter if I cry and mourn the loss of my boob cos that’s allowed too… I just have to keep reminding myself that I don’t have to be strong and tough all the time!
It’s a little strange not having the mastectomy first and doing the chemo bit instead - I was dx on 31 Jan and won’t have the op till 27th July so I guess I’ve had more time than most to mull it all over - not sure if that is better or worse! Neither probably!
Thanks so much x
For Helen Hi Helen
I thought I would add my story to this as I had my mastectomy only last Tuesday. I also had my chemotherapy first.
I was diagnosed on Jan 10th but was told that the lump was too big to operate on and also it was very fast growing. I had 3xEC and 3xTaxotere - my last cycle was May 15th.
My surgery was last Tuesday, exactly 4 weeks after my last chemo. I think having had the lump there all the way through the chemo process had been really useful, in as much as I could feel that the chemo was working - it certainly kept me going on the last 2 cycles - but I had definately reached the stage where I couldn’t wait to get rid.
The first thing I did when I was coming round in recovery was look down at the wound - I couldn’t see much as I hadn’t got my glasses on though! I looked at my first opportunity (with glasses on) and I had an overwhelming feeling of immense relief. Relief in every aspect - the lump was gone - therefore I no longer needed to monitor it. It really looked ok too. The dressing I had was completely see through (I was told this prior to surgery - I think it could have been a shock otherwise) - could see a few butterfly stitches on the wound and there was a bit of dry blood. Otherwise it was just a very neat wound. I had two drains in - the first came out on day 3 the second came out this morning. I found them a bit of an annoyance but do-able.
I’ve only had to take paracetamol and ibruprofen for the pain and to be honest I have hardly had any pain - the painkillers help me to be able to do the exercises to get my shoulder moving though.
I wish you all the very best for your surgery next month.
Love and Hugs
Wendy xoxoxox
Waiting is hard Hi Helen
Many thanks for starting the message. I have read the replies you received and found them ahuge comfort.
As with you and Wendy I am having chemotherapy now, my mastectomy is scheduled for end of August. Its hard at first to see where it all fits in. Maybe too much time to think about mastectomy etc. But now I do feel alot less lonely about it all…
Thanks
Jane
Helen
i felt i couldnt look at my scar for a few weeks after my op,
when i woke up i had a padded dressing on so i wasnt flat, when the drs and nurses checked me i’d look the other way and when i washed i’d avoid the mirror in the bathroom.
The hospital staff were all fine with me not wanting to look, as they said everyones different.
i had 1 drain and it was in the centre of my breast bone, sort of top of my ribs, this was in for 5days after my op, it wasnt too bad though and i nick named it my hand bag !
When i had my dressings taken off , my bc nurse told me i had to rub a good mouisure cream into my scar everyday after my shower,
so i was sort of forced to look then, i cryed my eyes out when i first saw it, but if i’m honest it wasnt as bad as i had been imageing it to be.
my hubby looked as soon as dressings were off, and was fine
told me how neat it was.
sorry to be so honest, but i felt i couldnt cope with it at first.
kim x
Hi Helen
Just a quicky really! I had a bi lateral mastectomy in March and wish I had asked for more information about the finished scars before my operation. I looked at my scars as soon as I could - no problem as far as I could see, just two very neat and tidy lines across my chest that didn’t quite meet in the middle!
I was overweight before my operation and I wish I had asked if they would remove some of the fat as well as the breast tissue! (and also remove any skin tags under my armpits) I have been left with what looks like (and feels like!) a sort of pouch under one arm which everyone tells me is tissue. It doesn’t look like the “dog ear” pictures I’ve seen. It’s unsightly and I am very aware of it. The other side is livable with. I wonder if any women breast surgeons leave things like that or whether its only the men?!
I know a bi-lateral is different to only having one breast removed, but I would much rather have been completely flat. I seem to have a lot of lose skin!
100 days on, I can hardly see the scars at all so don’t worry about that side of it. Good luck
Sharon