Since the tribunal I have lost confidence in myself.
I just want to curl up under the duvet and hide away from everyone.
The employer made me seem awkward and difficult because I was asking for reasonable adjustments in my workplace.
Since then I have received letters from the employer basically telling me that I should get myself back in the workplace- much much easier said than done- and that there is now no reason why I should not be working.
Oh help! How on earth can I face them? In my opinion they have not been very supportive and yet the judge recommended that I return to the job.
I can really sympathise with your situation as I am going through something similar right now with work. Once you go down the route of a grievance and tribunals, going back to work must be difficult. I feel a bit like a trouble maker but then I think to myself that really they have been so rubbish in helping me come back to work part time. I really feel like I can’t go back now so not sure what I’m going to do.
Sorry I can’t help much here but just thought it may help to know that somebody else is in the same shoes as you.
I guess you have to break down your question “should I return to work” into smaller sections first. For example, did you enjoy your job before you became ill? if the answer is a definite yes, then perhaps with time, you will come to enjoy it again. If the answer is no, not really, then I would look for something else. Also, the adjustments they wouldn’t make, will they make your life at work very difficult or could you work around it? I think you have to ask yourself honestly if you really like your job enough to get over these hurdles. I am sure you could get over what has happened, but both you and your employer would both have to make an effort and it time, you should be ok. If, on the other hand, you dislike your employer and feel that no matter how much effort you make trying to smooth things over, they will always resent that you took them to a tribunal, then perhaps you need something different. It would depend on your financial circumstances, but if you could afford to only go part time at in a job that isn’t too demanding for a short time to get your confidence back, whilst you look for something you really want long term? I really feel for you because returning to work after a long absence is bad enough, but to go back with all this hanging over you is not nice at all. Good luck
I am so sorry that you are facing this added issue just when you are getting over your fight with BC. It makes me so annoyed when ppl are treated so badly … it’s just not right.
Can I ask - is the place you work a small firm or a large company?
Cathy - thanks for your advice- I will really think this through -I have been told that if I resign then all my benefits will stop- so will have to find any job sharpish; but the company are putting on the pressure. Yet I’m really worried about if they dismiss me cos that might affect any following job.
Lilacblushes- the company is a medium sized company. And I agree no it’s not right; yet my hands appear to be tied. My biggest hope was that I would win the case, not only for me but so that they couldn’t do this to someone else. After all when someone has been going through cancer treatment then I firmly believe that they deserve some respect and support from their employers. And that is partly why I am so very saddened by the outcome of the case.
I understand your disappointment at the outcome of the case both for yourself and for anyone else who may face the same issue in the future. As you say anyone who has gone through cancer treatment - or treatment for any other serious illness - should be shown respect and support.
I was hoping you were going to say that the company you worked for was a large company. The reason for this basically was because you said in your 1st post ‘how am I supposed to face them’… which clearly shows that you are scared of how ppl are going to react. If you worked for a big company then your return and any discomfort would be s sort of 1 day wonder before they moved on to something or someone else. I previously worked in a call centre with 200 other ppl on any given shift and the general way of things was morning coffee break the gossip was about one person, by lunch time that was old news and someone else was in the frame.
Is it your work mates or your bosses that you are uncomfortable with facing?
The company have brought in a new middle management over me- I didn’t have middle management previously.
I feel uncomfortable facing the work “mates” because they are also new (males) and I had to question 2 of them during the tribunal. The remainder of the staff are in a seperate building; so with my limited energy levels there is very little chance of my seeing them at all.
I also feel totally uncomfortable facing the bosses.
I am still unsure of how I could ever manage the stairs without it affecting my fatigue/energy levels; but the judge recommended that I should return to the job. I did try the stairs a few months ago but it all went wrong.
I am now receiving “stroppy” letters from one of the bosses- who is now insisting that I return “or else…” I have written and told him that I am totally stressed out and have lost my confidence His next letter said " just get back by a (named) date or …".
My GP is now recommending that I go for counselling to help me face others.
But I am still unsure of what to do. I have gone round and round things in my head but still don’t know what to do. Should I go or should I stay? What is better for me in the long run? How can I ever trust this company again? - No I am not asking you for advice but just ranting.
I don’t know what to suggest. Maybe if you did get back and your new work mates got to know you then they would make up their own minds about you and not see you as a trouble maker… on the other hand if they have had the management warning them about you then perhaps they might have a pre-conceived idea about what you are like… I would hate to think that you would be goig into a place where you are isolated by the ppl you are working with. After going through treatment for BC the last thing you need when trying to ‘get back to normal’ is to be in a hostile workplace and be unhappy for 8 hours a day.
To be brutally honest, if it were me and if I was in a position finacially to do so I would tell them to stick their job up their a***s… and look elsewhere for a job with a better firm- but then that is just me. I don’t know what your fancial situation is or what the employment market is like in your area. Giving up a job is not always an option … I’ve brought up my son on my own since he was 17 months old so I know what it’s like to struggle with money, and at one point I did have to stick it out in a job that was making me very unhappy for a couple of months until I got a new job.
You mention also about the physical side of the stairs - could it be that if you go back and that side proves too much then they will have a situation that they cannot ignore, and then they will have to do summit about it.