The “but your ok now so you can move forward” brigade sometimes overlook the fact that the whole process is hugely traumatic. I recommend finding a support group or counsellor so that you can unravel the huge feelings we encounter on this treatment rollercoaster so you can come to peace with it.
Maybe this would be useful? Join support events for young women with primary breast cancer | Breast Cancer Now
Or these Booking Platform
I’m so sorry you feel like you do. I understand I’m 12mtgs secondary breast cancer and has spread to my spine and liver I’m so angry at the world. Please don’t be alone there will be that one person who no matter what will hold your hand and let you be you. It’s ok to say I’m not ok but talk to your breast care nurse and maybe ask to get some counselling you have had a major life changing experience. I just wanted to reach out and let you know it will get easier you will never forget how can you but do one thing maybe week that is purely selfish but makes you feel great. Take care. Xx
Aww @louise17 - thankyou for your reply, i am so sorry to read of your spread. What’s your story? I just took my last antib med, and still feel horrendous. Coldsore now appeared on lip. I am so burnt out.
I’m don’t think I have ever posted anything on here but I felt I had to respond to you and wish you warmth and love.
What you have been through has been deeply traumatic and it sounds like you’ve felt so alone and just not heard, seen, understood or supported. You’ve been battling so hard to cope and like many of the other women on here I think now is the time to get some good counselling (which you won’t have to pay for) and maybe join a group for younger women.
Great that you reached out with such honesty and expressed all your feelings of anger and hurt and exhaustion.
Hang in there girl. Things can and will get better…. You need some cheerleaders to keep you going and it looks like you found a few on here. Hope you can find some pockets of peace this weekend. . Emily x
Hi @sbee
I understand your frustration. I feel we are very similar in that we want to know why we got this disease and what we can do to avoid it down the track. I also have researched the hell out of it and I have found some of your posts very helpful including this one. For myself, I was iron deficient for years but not one doctor really investigated why. When I had a broken ankle followed by a DVT I was found to be so iron deficient that they were worried about giving me blood thinners in case I bled out!! Still no-one investigated it other that to advise more iron tablets. Now of course I know that there was a massive 7cm tumour draining all my blood probably for years!
One thing I have learnt through this journey is that stress is also a major factor in cancer so it is of upmost importance to put yourself first. If this means eliminating toxic people from your life (or minimising your time with them) then so be it. If your sister is being hideous maybe keep her at bay for a while - you don’t need the stress!
I agree with others. Reach out for support from groups that understand what you are going through. I am not in the UK but I have reached out to the Cancer Foundation in NZ and they have provided some free Physiotherapy sessions and ring periodically to check in to see how I am going. I worked as a Crisis Counsellor for a Suicide Helpline and learnt firsthand how just talking to someone impartial for a while can really help.
During my diagnosis and surgery I had some wonderful support from my friend’s sister who had been through the journey previously. I found out today that her cancer had metastasized and time is likely short for her. I cried for such a long time because she did everything she could and all by herself with little support. There are no guarantees in this journey so try to find some meaning in each day and live in the present moment. We are all always here if you need us 
Has that infection beggared off now @sbee ?
Almost @bluetit11 … though they extended the antibiotics by another 7 days 
.. My immune system just isn’t the same. How are you? Xxx
Glad to hear you’re getting better.
First day of radiotherapy here so crossing everything the mitigations I’ve put in place work 
Ah, how are you feeling? What is / has your treatment path been?
I’m lucky mine was found early and by accident so small (15mm) I think stage 1 (no one has actually said) grade 2 oestrogen & progesterone positive HER2 negative. Lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy. Lymph node negative. Meant to be on Letrozole but side effects outweighed benefits for me. 5 days radiotherapy to mop up.
Yeah, the side effects of the hormone blockers seem terrifying!
I’d have maybe persevered with the aches and pains but I’m not prepared to do depressed verging on suicidal for 5 years. Whatever time I have left (hopefully many years) will be spent as me not my shadow.
@bluetit11 bluetit11 I fully understand. I’m three years into my 5-7 years of letrozole.
It’s been an awful last couple of years I’ll be honest. My oncologist waved me off with my prescription in April 2023 and I’ve not seen her since. The side effects from the letrozole are awful. I developed polymyalgia rheumatica so am now on prednisolone as well. Wasn’t given a dexa scan before starting prednisolone as first one was ok. Last July after lots of tooing & froing discovered I had a unexplained fractured femoral head so needed a total hip replacement. Then prescribed alendronic acid for osteoporosis! It’s never ending. I feel the actual cancer part was a walk in the park compared to this crap!
I’m no longer me. I’m unhappy, unpleasant to live with and feel about 90 lol.
My head says stop the letrozole my heart says no. No help from oncology etc apart from oh well its just side effects to be expected!
Rant over, sorry for hijacking post. I’ll retreat to my everything is fine & I’m ok day 
We all need to vent sometimes!
In my case Predict give less than 1 year improvement so I decided to stop. I’m lucky that just surgery gave a 92/96 survival rate.
I can relate - i am not taking anything but near on feel they have forcefully prescribed me tamoxifen. There is such little guidance or consideration…