lost my friend last week
lost my friend last week Hi there
have only posted a couple of times but tap in most days and get a lot of comfort reading about you all and empathizing with issues we all face. My friend who was diagnosed at the same time as me 2003 lost her fight last tuesday and i feel stunned , we supported each other and had a lot of laughs at how ridiculous we looked sometimes (she with no hair, eyebrows etc me with my flat chest. But the worse bit is i didn’t know she had suddenly gone so donhill within a week she deterioated and went, the family and friends didn’t like to tell me, i found out from my 14 year old daughter who is friendly with her daughters, i feel i should react but feel numb its her funeral friday and i reaaly want to go but don’;t know if i can cope as it is all so close to home
any advice appreciated
love jo
For Witchjo Hi Jo
First of all our sincere condolences that you have lost your friend.
I am sorry you are having such a difficult time, you may find it helpful to contact our free phone helpline on 0808 800 6000 if you would like to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling at the moment. The phone line is open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
The team comes from a variety of backgrounds, so callers get to talk to someone who has an understanding of the issues they’re facing. I hope this will help you.
Kind regards
BCC Forum Host
thanks i wll try that
jo GO to your friend’s funeral and cry your heart out. If you don’t you’ll feel awful forever. Survivors don’t have it easy - much sympathy and very best wishes, dilly
thanks dilly
yes i will go or i will regret it i would like to have thought of her at mine if roles were reversed just can’t believe it still but i suppose the funeral will remedy that
Jo x
hi
sorry to hear your news
take care lov susannexxx
yes I think you should go to the funeral - you will hate it maybe but will feel awful for a lot longer if you don’t go and there is no foolishness in crying for the loss of someone you cared about.
i’m going hi all
thanks for your replies i am going will wear no makeup tho, lots of youngsters going my daughter opted out tho as she feels will not be able to handle it which i think is wise but i am definately going
its tomorrow so will let you know next week how it went
love jo
Thinking of you It was three years ago on a Friday In Novemeber that I went to a friend’s funeral. She had been diagnosed just two and a half years earlier and I a few weeks before. I was two weeks into my first chemo and didn’t know how I could cope with her funeral. Two friends and I sobbed our way through the service…we were friends and work colleagues together. Since then another friend from the same deaprtment has also died of breast cancer.
It was a hard day but I wanted and needed to be there. I hope the funeral today helps yu to say goodbye to your friend.
best wishes
Jane
Witchyjo Hello jo!
I’ve been thinking about you today and hoping you managed to go to your friend’s funeral. My love and hugs are with you as you go through this horrible time.
We cope as best we can with whatever life throws at us. Have a good cry, drink a huge glass of wine and remember the good times because they will always be your comfort.
Take care of you and keep in touch
Binner
i went Hi everyone
thanks for all your kind words and thoughts, well iwent and there were loads of people there from our village and the local school, was ok until her two girls came in with their dad and they all looked so sad and lost i lost the plot and sobbed through the rest of the service. Felt better for going and did say goodbye to her and took comfort from the fact so many will miss her.
After the service though was inundated with people looking at me anxiously with heads to one side and asking “how are you now” as expecting me to drop niext almost looked over my shoulder for the grim reaper they were that bad. Wouldn’t mind but these are the people who avoided me and wendy after we got "cancer " as if afraid they could catch it but in public they like to make a show of being concerned, grrr.
I suppose you always get the ones who like to keep up appearances to feel good in themselves but at least cancer weeds out youe true friends from the fairweather!
will do deep breathing exercises now and think happy thoughts
bye for now
Jo x
Well done witchyjo - nothing’s better than a good cry! Always worth knowing who the real “friends” are . Now you don’t need to waste your time on fakes and hypocrites. Best wishes, dilly
Hi Jo
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, i lost my best friend 4 weeks ago, she also became very ill very suddenly within a week. I am still in shock that she is not here any more, and i miss her so much. It is so hard to be strong, when all you want to do it be with them. Only the week before she passed away we had been shopping for new wigs and laughing about things, i feel angry that she was taken from me so quickly and i drove to see he but she was sedated so i could not say good bye, the only thing that makes me feel better is that i was with her, holding her hand when she passed away, and i just hope she knew i was there.
I send you lots of love and strengh, this site is very supportive and i recieved lots of lovely mesages when my friend passed.
Just know that deep in your heart you will never forget her she will know that you are thinking of her.
Take care, lots of love
Jo xx
time flies Hi Jo
thanks for that its hard to believe its been a week already and everything gone back to normal for everyone else but it doesn’t seem fiar that people have moved on so quickly. I know we have to carry on but i have felt quite angry this week that people have forgotten so quickly and underlying that i suppose is that could be me and it seems we’d hardly be missed i want to scream at them all, those who were so condescending last friday and now are happily planning christmas etc and my friends family are left bereft comtemplating a very empty christmas.
I won’t forget her and will remember something good each day and value it
love jo x