Low Feelings again
Low Feelings again Hi
Have now finished my radiotherapy sessions and thought i would be over the worse. Why is it I now feel so down, crying all the time, breast and underarm hurting, very tired all the time but cannot sleep. During treatment i felt ok in-fact quite good, but as soon as it all had finished the depression set in. Has anyone else gone through these feelings, I thought I would be on the up now but feel as bad as when i first had the operation. Will it ever get better and will i ever stop blaming myself and feeling a failure???
Elaine
quite common Hi Elaine,
What you are feeling quite common. I think we have routine with all our treatment and we function on adrenlin, then all of a sudden we don’t have that to focus on anymore. I suppose it’s like losing a job! You aren’t quite sure what to do or where to focus your energies. I made a comment a while ago saying that once my treatment had finished my mcmillan nurse, who was wonderful, basically said now it’s time for me to start moving away. Which I understand, but it was at a time where actually I needed the support the most!
Be patient with yourself and focus on one day at a time.
Best wishes
Sonya
Dear Elaine You seem to be having quite a tough time at the moment. You may be interested to know that Breast Cancer Care offer a peer support service whereby you can be put in touch with people of a similar age and diagnosis by telephone. We also run a live chat session on Thursday evenings between 9-10pm which you would be very welcome to join. For more details on our support services please contact our helpline on 0808 800 6000 Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm or see the front page of the website under the tab ‘Support for you’.
Kind regards
Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care
oh yes i remember it well, spoke to my doc about it and a friend who had gone through it.
all i could do was cry from half way through rads.
as did my friend.
we decided it was down to all the nasties that had been put in our bodies.
it does get better, but it will take some time. i had my op in nov 05 and now feel i have my life back to a certain degree
best wishes.
sharon. x
You are not a failure Elaine
I started crying on about my 2nd second session of radiotherapy. The machines were all broken and I had no app times and was basically waiting around for 3 and 4 hours for my treatment. I thought this was the norm and once I started crying, I couldn’t stop. I was so bad my mother insisted on accompanying me for the first sessions as she thought I would walk out. By the end of the week, I was in such a state that, unbeknown to me, my husband and mother were ringing around for help. A lovely radiographer took me to one side with a tin of chocolates and box of hankies and told me to cry all I wanted. She suggested I see a MacMillan nurse for some counselling. I also went to the holistic centre and cried all over them too. The MacMillan nurse was brilliant. Instead of just blaming my low mood on Tamoxifen she said I was very depressed and anxious. (I was also getting panic attacks). She rang my doctors and told them to put me on anti depressants. I had visited the doctors and told him how bad I felt and he told me I had to join a support group and that he wouldn’t give me any pills.
Three months on, I feel a lot better. Try MacMillan support Elaine. They will come to your house and just talk if you need to. My nurse has put me forward for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy so that I will be able to cope when i come off the anti depressants. Sorry for waffling on for so long. Good luck
Debbie
Thank You Hi Debbie
Thanks for your kind words. I was under a counsellor up until two weeks ago when I thought I was over the worst…Boy was I wrong…like you deep depression…panic attacks…tired and crying all the while. Rang my counsellor up on Friday and asked for an urgent appointment as I was feeling a failure…she is seeing me on Monday… I gave up to early when I thought I was OK but I guess you never really get OK but hopefully I will begin to feel a little bit better when I have spoken to her…Everyday its a drag to get out of bed, feel worse now then after i had the operation…One day at a time I know…but I always seem to want everything to happen yesterday cannot wait…
Elainexx
just wanted to say l hope you have had a slightly better today.I have along with lm sure most ladies here experienced what you are going through.It will improve-at times its a huge wave of emotion fear and sadness then it reduces to smaller ripples.hang in there-its normal apparently!take care thinking of you love sharon x
It’s Normal Hi Elaine.
I have been feeling the same, some days worse than others.
The host sujested i look at an article by Dr Peter Harvey its called After the treatment finishes. It really made me feel like this man has been living through cancer with me, i hope it is of some help to you.
You are not a failure, you have just been to hell and back good luck
Love Jo x x x
Dr Peter Harvey Hi Jo
Been to see councillor today, felt better off loading, spent the whole hour crying, feel emotionally drained but a little better this evening. The article you referred to…is a book I have to read or what. Perhaps you could let me know. Thanks
Elaine
Re Dr Peter Harvey Hi Elaine.
Glad to here that the councillor helped.
Its not a book its an article on the internet.
I am not that good on the computor but here goes…
If you enter Dr Peter Harvey in search the net a web page comes up with his name on it if you click on cctrust.org.uk/article3.htm his article appears it is about 5 pages long so i printed it off and read it when i have a cry day it helps.
He is a psychologist who has written this article called after the treatment finishes then what?
I hope it is of use to you Elaine it is worth a read.
Jo x x x
RE Dr Harvey article Hi Elaine,
I too have just read the article by Dr Harvey, as I have come to the end of Chemo and was wondering how it would affect me, and I must say it is really insightful. In fact, I am giving a copy to my employer to help them understand just what going through cancer treatment can do to you both emotionally and physically, as I think it will help when I go back to work.
Hope you are feeling a little better
Love Deborah xxx
Where do i find it Just wondering where I might find this article have looked at website but must be having a blonde moment…could you help me find it please?
Thanks
Elaine
re article Hi Elaine
Its jo again i have aol so i don’t know if your page will come up the same or not. If you search the web for (The cancer counselling trust -articles) then click on the link that is in green that says cctrust.org.uk/article3.htm the article comes up.
Good luck again.
Love Jo x x x
Stamina stage Dear All,
In case it helps any of you, I just want to tell you something someone said to me that helped me immensely. I was feeling at a bit of a loss after rads (I guess you know the feeling) until my friend talked about ‘building up stamina’, and just having a name to put on this current stage has transformed the way I feel - I ‘done’ the op, and ‘done’ chemo’, and ‘done’ radio’, and now I can get my head down and ‘do’ stamina-building. I know it won’t help everyone to see it that way, but still thought I’d mention it.
printing article Hi Jo
Despite my reassurances to others, I am having another weepy day and found the article you recommended on the web so am printing it off now. I think the Tamoxifen is making me so depressed as I am actually still on anti depressants which I started about 3 months ago. I was feeling better but it all keeps flooding back. Will feel better after my 3 month check up on Monday. Thanks for your advice
Debbie
xx
Hi Hello
Sorry you are having a weepy day…boy do I know the feeling. Rads finished at the end of January and here we are in March and I am still tired and weeping buckets…Thought the journey to recovery would be almost over but I guess it never is, is it??? Like you I try and reassure others but never seem to listen to my own words and practise what I preach…Managed to get to 12noon today without a weepy moment…but eh its only 5pm now…
Maybe a better day for us all tomorrow.
Take care
Elaine
Found it Hi
Blondie moment has now passed and I have found the article, going to print it and keep it by my bed…
thanks
Elaine