Huge nighttime wobbles are here as my lumpectomy surgery gallops towards me at the end of this week. I found a large lump in the summertime, and now I am having two oestrogen positive, HER2 neg cancers removed from my right breast with sentinal node biopsy.
My weight has been an massive (no pun intended) issue for surgery as I am very overweight and I am absolutely terrified of anaesthetic. Has anyone else been told they are high risk for surgery due to weight and had their reconstruction options denied (not sure if thatās the right word?!).
You think you have enough time to lose weight before āsomething really bad happensāā¦and then you find lumps in your boob one morningā¦
Any coping tips at this stage would be ever so warmly received.
Hi @inkblot. All the best for your surgery. I found recovery pretty fast. Was nowhere near as bad as I first imagined. Hope they get good margins for you.
Hi
Try not to panic/worry too much, hard not to do i know, but please be assured your MDT and breast consultant/oncologist have your back, will take good care of you throughout your surgery and ongoing treatment, they would have assessed your concerns etc and plan everything in detail. All you need to do, is look after number one and be assured everything is being taken care of.
Sending positive vibes, we are a great bunch of ppl, please feel free to message anytime, we are all here for one another
Thank you for your lovely supportive message trees1 - gosh it really does help having a voice reach out in the dark. Iām so glad you had a positive as an experience as you could have.
Aaaaaah! THANK YOU purplerose. I so appreciate you taking the time to respond.
I donāt realise how lonely I felt until I was made to feel welcome somewhere safe in a moment of need. Your words are wise and gave me some much needed clarity and pause in my panicking, so I really appreciate you taking the time.
Hi there @inkblot. It truly is a scsry time and weāve all been there. Iām overweight, bmi 31, but it was never an issue and anaesthetist was was amazing. A lumpectomy is a short op, with good recovery and although you are understandably nervous, they will be so prepared to ensure your safety. Iād never had an op before, and when i had my slnd and lumpectomy, I was in tears before with fear. When I woke up, I felt so grateful, proud and relieved. Iāve had 2 further surgeries since, and after chemo, Iāll be needing a masectomy too. Trying to lose weight on chemo for next op, but not easy!
I wanted to say try to put faith in your team. It will save your life. You will be okay and this will give the team the important info needed to prepare the next stage of the treatment plan. Good luck and keep us all posted. Xxx
Hi @inkblot
After 2 lumpectomies, Iāve got a mastectomy on 4 October. I had an endoscopy yesterday too which was by far the worst experience so far, and will elect for sedation next time (or rather an overdose of sedation) in 8 weeksā time.
I look forward to finding out the actual treatment ahead, which you will too.
Good luck
My BMI was 38 at the time of my surgery I had recently developed sleep apnea which made me more worried and so despite being a Nurse I was in a state at pre- assessment which meant my BP was through the roof - though it did come down by surgery day . All the worry was for nothing as I was a absolutely fine but itās fear of the unknown / not being in control and everyone gets itās to one extent or another but when you know you have a few health issues it piles on the pressure. INone of us likes to be given a wake up call related to their health especially when youāre already trying to get your head around cancer . Reconstruction was never on the table for me because I was never offered mastectomy either but a lot of people seem have been told they canāt have reconstruction when they want it for various reasons - so maybe your weight is just another factor rather than the only reason and perhaps for them it was the easiest way to say no .
Iām struggling a bit with stress for other reasons myself at the moment - night time is not a problem itās more the day . As usual I find exercise keeping busy and Yoga in particular to be helpful . Donāt have any caffeine after 6pm and if youāre feeling edgy in the day control your intake then as well.
Much love and and come back to us afterwards and let us know how it went - youāre going to be ok xx
Also meant to say that I find an audio book is good if you canāt drop off though it can be a pain trying to remember where you where - Iāve sometimes woken up and the book has completely finished . Xx
Thank you for your brilliant message JoanneN - it REALLY helps knowing that there are others out there in similar boats. Iām going to actively focus on the fact that others have gone before me and that although I have been made to feel like Iām the only large person to have breast cancer, I doubt thatās a true representation of the worldā¦ but thatās another conversation for another time perhapsā¦
I love your audiobook suggestion. Iām a little bit agitated at the moment for that, but that is definitely something I could take with me into hospitalā¦and for recovery - thank you!
At the moment (pre op) I have found having mind-numbing reality TV mindlessly chattering away in the background when I am on my own (which is 80% of the time) helps keep my mind from going to darker places.
I ābannedā the news and actual TV being on when Iām about, a while ago, as there is so much on there that just makes me distressed/depressed and I genuinely find it difficult to cope ā so, for now Iām pretending itās not there.
I also listen to podcasts as they are short and sweet and manageable. I have neurodivergent tendencies so get really overwhelmed really easily. BBC SOUNDS has Stories at Bedtime and has loads of lovely calming playlists with all different styles of music. I have been known to tune into the Shipping Forecastā¦
Itās all about the coping strategies isnāt it? Whatever gets us throughā¦
I was reading somewhere the other day about using white noise - birdsong specifically in this instance - as a way to stop feelings of overwhelm. That is something I could definitely see working.
Thank you for reaching out and for your support. I hope you are doing OK today.
THANK YOU bluesatsuma !! I am hoping thatās exactly how I will feel post op - enormously proud that I did it. Iām going to take your words with me in my virtual pocket and remember them on Friday.
You are a superstar with all your achievements - you should, quite rightly, feel incredibly proud of yourself. Iām loudly cheering you on from here.
Thank you @inkblot. To be so warm and kind, when you are reaching out yourself is a gift. Please do let us know how you get on and take all the advice and comfort here. These ladies got me through and they will you too. Xxx
@inkblot Hiya. Yes Endoscopy was horrific. Coupled with the fact the Consultant had absolutely zero bedside manner and despite my gagging and wretching about 6 or more times he carried on without a word and looked as though he was clearing a drain! Iāve got another one in 6-8 weeks time, so Iām hoping itās not him again. I shall be giving feedback for sure, but after next appt. Which will be post Mastectomy by then. As if the cancer isnāt bad enough? Grrrr
Take one step at a time. You know what is coming and after surgery there will be a treatment plan. Each morning put one foot infront of the other until you reach the end of this horrible cancer journey. I have had mastectomy, chemo and radio and four years on feel very good. Be kind to yourself, donāt beat yourself up about your weight or anything else. Concentrate on today, then the next. We are all rooting for you.
I shouldnāt but your humour made me laugh. My oncologist - lovely but NO bedside manner - advised me to have all my hair cut off before chemo by a hairdresser (āas if you donāt it can block the drains!ā). Hmm.
My cancer was in the middle of lockdown so no hairdressers. My pet groomer did it in the end. Thanks Boris.
A few weeks ago I developed quite a few new floaters in both eyes - vision is already damaged in the left one after a retinal haemorrhage so having them in the right one as well freaked me out especially as a colleague developed a retinal tear after a similar thing happened to her .
I took the first urgent eye clinic appointment I could get - not at my preferred local hospital but at our regional one where I also had my breast surgery .
The very severe 6ft 6in doctor chose to lead with " this is a diabetic clinic and you are not a diabetic " . I didnāt know whether to apologize or say well you never know in a year or two I might be so if you see me now you will be ahead of yourself. Despite me explaining that I couldnāt get my head in the right position because the chin bar was too high ( my feet were off the floor!) he tried to continue with it until he realized it wasnāt going to work by which time I had cricked my neck .Then he asked me to explain my history and told me I knew far too much ! The upshot was that my retinas look ok so itās not likely to get worse any time soon but I really hope I donāt end up seeing him again . Iām a Nurse and sometimes wonder why I work with doctors when so many of them have no social skills whatsoever .
You, missypops, need to stop having just quite so much fun ā¦ gawd JoanneN youāve had quite the time of itā¦ not fun at all.
Floaters are no fun. I have those, but just due to being old and crumbly - nothing as āexcitingā as a retinal tear !!! I have no idea what one of those is, but I can make a pretty good guess at it and it sounds horrendous. And my stomach concurrsā¦
Thank you for the massive, tea spluttering, diabetes clinic, laugh.
Sending more energy to you to deal with any future 6ft 6" nuisancesā¦
inkblot
xx
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