Hi,
I was diagnosed with grade III invasive ductal breast cancer at the beginning of december and was scheduled for a lumpectomy and sentinal lymph node biopsy the week before Christmas. I have had the lumpectomy but the bit of kit that checks the lymph node had broken so although my sentinal lymph node was removed it had to be sent to the labs for analysis rather than be done during the surgery. I have therefore had to wait (and am still waiting) for my lymph node results. As the clinic is on Tuesday I am waiting 3 weeks for the results - which I will get this Tuesday. I have been OK until today when I started to get nervous and start thinking about it. I have still more days to go before I get my results and am starting to dread the wait. The nights of no sleep have started.
I suppose I am just on here to have some sympathy and understanding. I have no idea where I go from the results - and that upsets me as I usually have everything planned out so well. Just relaxing and going with the flow isn’t really me - and this is far from relaxing. Until Tuesday I have no plans.
Not sure what else to say - bring on Tuesday
Alison
Hi Alison
Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support.
I’m sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with things and getting to grips with your treatment plans, etc.
As well as the support you will receive here you might find it helpful to order the BCC resources pack. It has been specifically designed for those newly diagnosed and contains information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If you would like to order a copy just follow the link bellow:-
Also, do give the helpline a ring if you need any further support or information. They’re on 0808 800 6000. Open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 10-2 Saturday.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Hi Cucumber12 I joined the site 9 days after surgery it took me having surgery for every thing to sink in, it all happed so fast from diagnoses to surgary.6 weeks I felt that I had no time to think I had routine mammogram on the 24 October and was recalled to attend hospital on 7<sup>th</sup> November and on the 15<sup>th</sup> November I was diagnosed with IDC.on the 7<sup>th</sup> December I hade WLE,SNB,and therapeutic mammoplasty( breast reduction) on my right breast I was Erpos/+ and I am taking Anastrozole and I am waiting to start Rads. Due to a blood condition it was suggested that I wait to have my good breast reduced to avoid complications. (I found waiting for results is the worst part of the whole process) waited two week for SNB results Good luck forTuesday. You have come to the right place the lades on this site will give you support and encouragement they are an inspiration. Big hugs .Ann.G
Hi Alison
that’s so frustrating - I so feel for you. The waiting is definitely the worst part! Once you get your treatment on Tuesday then you’ll have a plan of action and something to work through. In the meantime - you’ve come to the right place for information and support, there are some lovely ladies on here and you can rant away as much as you want! You might want to visit the Benchland thread), I was there not that long ago sitting on the CSL (crazy sobbing lady) bench!
Ask any question you like - no question is a silly one… we support each other… this site has been a godsend for me through my dark days (usually in the early hours!!).
Me? Well I’m going in on Wednesday 9th for WLE/SNB and like you have grade 3 IDC - was diagnosed 17 Dec and bc found in routine mammogram (my first one!) and I am already dreading results although I know that whatever the results - once I have a treatment plan I’ll feel more in control! (Am such a control freak lol!).
in the meantime - am sending you gentle hugs (on your good side!) and positive vibes. Be strong - I’ll be thinking of you on Tuesday Alison.
Lozza xxx
Hi Alison
I’m not sure this helps but I also found waiting for the SNB results v difficult and I got them fairly quickly.
Do you know what the treatment plan is after your results?. I ask because it helped me that the plan for me to have chemo was going ahead regardless of my SNB results (in fact I had my first chemo the day after SNB surgery).
I’m also a planner, a doer and a ball of energy in what i call my ‘real’ life. However since my diagnosis I’ve accepted that I can’t be that person for a while and have to get through the treatment in whatever way I can ( I decided to read voraciously and withdraw a bit into myself-and to be honest it’s not been a bad thing!).
Good luck on Tuesday and we are all here to support you whenever you need it x
Hi Alison, I had to wait 2 weeks for my snb results - most hospitals don’t do the analysis during surgery yet so this wait is common. The waiting is absolute torture and I think you’ve hit the nail on the head saying you usually plan everything, it’s the lack of control that’s so hard to deal with. My lymph nodes were clear on ultrasound but found to have a micromet in one node so that meant further surgery and more waiting for results, it’s a crap time. Once you’ve got all of your results in and know your treatment plan you’ll start to feel back in control and things will calm down x
HI Alison oh the waiting and waiting is horrendous. I too had my sentinel node removed on 13th Dec and got my results on2nd January. I knew it was in one node as it was blue with the dye they injected the day before so I knew frm that point I would be having chemo so the rest didn’t really matter too much as the results would not change the outcome regardless. what im tring to say is that if you have had all your nodes out already, then its out now… It can’t do any more damage! It’s been stopped in its tracks and your gateways have been removed. Try and focus on this… It really helped me to have a lovely Xmas with my family and not spend the time worrying over something I had no control over. The first big step has been completed and your home and healing…next thing is to blast it with some rads or chemo or both so that you have a new insurance policy that this ba&@tard won’t be coming back! I know staying strong is easier said than done… But the days will pass quicker if your head is light and not full of fear… I hope the sun you shining on you today and you can get out for some winter fresh air… I’ve been walking every day since and I believe it’s keeping me upbeat… Thinking of you and sending big hugs xxx
Thank you so much for all your replies and support!!! It really does make such a difference even though I know none of you (yet) - I know you are all there too. So thanks!!
Each day is passing and I have been keeping busy - went for a long walk today and to buy hats. I am now ready for colour coordintated hair loss. I now have three - bright pink, dark purple and brown and blue.
I am also planning on getting a dog - so looking for one of those is keeping me busy and focused on something positive.
I do have a vague treatment plan - and have had since before I was positively diagnosed:
Lump out and sentinel node biospy (done December 18th)
Chemotherapy for 5-6 months
Radiotherpay for 3 weeks.
I suppose once it’s all started it’s only forward. As now it feels static. I have had a liver function test and chest x-ray, but haven’t had those results either. I suppose they are looking for secondaries as a precaution. It’s all so scary.
Thank you everyone!!!
Alison
Hi Alison
Good luck for today… will be thinking of you…
You’ve had a long wait… I will know my results of tomorrow’s op on 29th Jan… so will no doubt be tearing my hair out and seeking solace too! xx
Take care… sending positive vibes… be strong and know that we’re all here for you.
Hugs to you… and anyone else needing some…
Lozza xxx
Hi cucumber good luck for today. Waiting is awful, but once you get started it does get better. Chemo is not top of my list of th gs to do, but it is not as horrendous as I had envisaged. I had long hair before bc and just couldn’t face it falling out, so I took control and had it cut short. When it did start to fall, rather than wake every morning and checkinill ow pillow my hubby sat me I. The kitchen with a large glass of whiskey and gave me a number 1 all over. I must say it wasn’t as weird as I thoughht it would be, yes I cried but then its just head down and plough through it. Drink lots of water, eat little and often, carry hand cleaner and tell the onc about any se. As for rads they were painless but boring.
i was dx march 2012 with idc multi focal tnbc, chemo first, full mx and lymph node clearance (6/18 invovled) then 3 weeks of rads. I too had a ct and bone scan at the start of treatment, they did find a coupleof blips on lung and liver, which they wanted to keep and eye on. so at the end of chemo i had another ct scan to check and that came back as nothing to worry about. so i understand the waiting game, as i had to wait 4 months to confirm all ok. think they do scan you before chemo to check what they are dealing with. i was so stressed after my first ct scan that when i had my second they said they would call me as soon as they haddiscussed me in eir meeting, so i had it on a friday and found out on tues, so not the usual fortnight wait. Finished all active treatment 1st December. Hair started to grow back almost as soon as finished chemo (aug) now starting to resemble noddy holder, but hey it’s hair. It is difficult once treatment finishes, I used to be a strong confident independent woman, ow I look in the mirror and I can’t see that woman. The woman looking back has weird hair, and a sort of lost scared look on her face, but hopefully with time the old me will reappear. I am also on the look out for a dog, convinced hubby that it will give me the motivation to get out and about when all I feel like doing is hiding. It’s so frustrating as before all this I was a 4 time week gym girl who had ants in her pants.
what sort of dog are you after?
Again good luck for today.
HI Lozza, Good luck with the op tomorrow. I had this before Christmas and as long as you keep moving the arm and do the exercises they suggest (you should have a BCC leaflet - if not download one from here) you will be fine. I didn’t need too many pain killers (op on Tuesday stopped taking them on Thursday) - but I have a pretty high pain threshold so go with what you need. But what I am trying to say is the the operation and aftercare is pretty straight forward and I was up and about in 2 days. I was totally bored sitting indoors so went out for a walk - took it easy as I didnt’ want to jiggly the boob. On Friday my grandson visited and I had no choice other that to use the arm (he’s 18 months). I am also a control freak so this is difficult, but hopefully some control will come back today. I will be thinking of you tomorrow - hugs xxx
Chatty Katty, Thanks so much for the positive info it’s good to know what is around the corner. And that initial bad news may only be that and not the end of the world. I am glad that you are out the other end - and look forward to that day too. I have heard said that once you are diagnosed with cancer you life becomes ‘before cancer’ and ‘after cancer’. It feels that way with me already and I cannot imagine how I will feel once this is all over. Hopefully you will start the road to yourself quickly.
The dog I am getting is a puppy cocker spaniel with brown and white markings (like a small springer). We went to visit him on Sunday at just 4.5 weeks old. He will be coming to us around 8-9 weeks. We are currently getting everything we need to home a dog - it’s a great distraction and I am so excited about getting him. My husband, who is more reserved is also looking forward to getting him and even asked the breeder if we could come back and visit again. That may be as it’s the happiest he’s seen me in some weeks. What are you after?
Hi Alison
Good luck for today… will be thinking of you…AnnG
Hi also looking at either cocker or springer, I can’t make my mind up. Want one that’s good with kids (12 & 3 years) and also one that hubby can take for a run, not too big and easy to train. Just can’t make my mind up between the two. Hubby not that keen, he’s never had a pet. He goes away in march for 3 months, so planning to get one and have it all trained by the time he gets home. me and the kids are mega excited. I’m due to go back to work in march, even though I work part time I don’t feel ready to return. I’m finding it difficult to get through the whole day without feeling knackeredl wondering if its a bit too cheeky to ask for a Carear break for 6 months, already had a year. However that’s been a year of treatment, just feel I need time now to get my life back in order and have a bit of time to rebuild me, does that make sense?
Chatty Katty,
You make perfect sense. It’s been a horrid year and having some time to get over it as well as the tiredness before returning to reality seems to me only a small thing to ask. Can you work from home? I am planning on doing that for as long as possible from as early as possible. My work place will insist on me going back for a few hours of each day and work my time up to full time - would that be possible? I suggest you just chat to your boss and find out - usually being candid helps and they are forced to deal with the reality of cancer. I couldn’t face being at work through it - but really need the money - win win for me being able to work from hom. I will only be working part time through the treatment though as full time would be far too much.
A cocker may be easier and they are slightly less manic and smaller. We decided on a cocker for size reasons thinking it may be easier whilst I am ill. Also, my husband will have to take it out and we wanted a dog that a man could walk without being laughed at - so a sausage dog was out!!! Our cocker is so cute and I am so excited - we pick him up the first week in February and I am counting down already. My husband is also not a pet person - but once the dog is there you’ll find they just melt. My daughter has 2 cockers and they can run miles (6 mile runs are not a problem for them and more if they could). So the size shouldn’t make a difference.
It’s a really difficult decision but whichever you choose you’ll be happy - who couldn’t love a spaniel?
AnnG,
Thanks for your good luck wishes. I am feeling much calmer today and have been baking cake - always a good sign.
Alison
Hi all,
it is the waiting that turns us all into jibbering wrecks. I had a ‘blocked duct’ removed and had to wait (2 weeks) for the all clear. It wasn’t clear was IDC so went back to surgery, after another wait to have WLE/SNB. 2 more weeks to wait. Got clear margins but Macromatastisis in both the nodes that were taken,. Another wait for more surgery.
Going in for level 1,2 and 3 lymph clearance tomorrow. Will be in the woods on the JWB (jibbering wreck bench) until they tell me how far the B***ard has gone (hoping for results in clinic on 22nd). Will no doubt then have to wait again to see the Onc to plan treatement. Wait… wait… wait… wait… wait… wait… wait… I think I should be in Benchland ranting!
Having people who really understand is so helpful. The non cancer crowd do there best by suggesting lots of ways to take your mind off it. I think there might be somethnig wrong with my mind because it is obsessed with BC. In the wee small hours it’s all over my body and possitive thinking abandons me completely.
Thinking of you today Alison Good luck and you on Wed Lozza, AnnG - hope you get started on rads soon. Will see you all on the bench as we wait like good, patient patients!
Hi MillyMolly,
That’s the worst thing about waiting - your imagination lets you have all sorts of cancer and the not knowing cannot stop it. I had a dry cough whilst waiting for my results - well we all know that obviously means it’s spread to my lungs.
Thanks for the good luck wishes - they did the trick!!
Alison
Dear All,
So I now have a diagnosis:
The lump that was removed had clear margins
The lump was 2.3 mm in diameter – smaller than they originally thought
The cancer is grade 3
The lymph nodes are clear (YIPPEEE)
The caner is weakly oestrogen positive – it’s fed by oestrogen
I will see the oncologist on 21<sup>st</sup> January and will get a more comprehensive treatment plan then but so far I am having:
Initially chemotherapy which will start in around 2 weeks time (I have asked if this can wait until after my birthday)
Radiotherapy after the chemo
After this I will be taking tamoxifen
I was really relieved about these results and me and OH drank Champagne last night. It also fits in nicely with my plans as I am getting a lovely cocker puppy in 2-3 weeks time.
So although the coming year will be tough – it is the best outcome I could have asked for and I am so happy.
Thanks for all your support - see you in the chemo pages!!!
Love A xxx
Congrats on the clear nodes. I know what you mean about the worrying, even though I’ve finished all my treatment I still worry, I have recently had sore throat…obviously throat cancer…neck ache…obviously neck cancer…aching down mx site…obviously lungs and so it carries on!! Anyway back on the web to search for my cocker…can I ask where you looks for yours?
Hi Chatty Katty,
I looked on the kennel club website and on preloved. I chose a breeder from preloved that was kennel club registered and asked all the questions the kennel club recommend. I went to visit the puppies and asked all the question the kennel club recommended.
Mine is the brown and white one in the picture. I cannot wait to get him!!! Make sure you can see the pups with the mother and if you aren’t keen on the breeder walk away. This breeder couldn’t have been nicer and I am more than happy to get one of her pups.
Good luck in the search!!!
Alison