Made to feel like a stastistic

Am feeling so down following a visit to see my consultant to discuss what to me, is a very important concern about follow-up treatment. Preparing myself for a dialogue between us was obviously unimportant. I felt helpless as stastistics were quoted to me and my points of concern were dismissed as of no real importance - and borne out of anxiety- is it normal to be seen as simply an ‘anxious’ patient when all you want to do is discuss an area of concern - I had thought long and hard about and researched the things I was there to discuss. This experience has knocked me back and I don’t know how to regain confidence in a system that treats me like this.

Your consultant has let you down. However many times s/he thinks they have seen your particular issue you are a uniqiue person who should be treated with respect.

Don’t know what to suggest to help you feel better…but you could try talking about how you feel to breast care nurse, or even writing to consultant.

Good doctors listen to our concerns however busy they are.

best wishes


Hi Seren
I have been feeling just like you this past week. Not with my consultant but with my GP.

I have come to the conclusion that if i went in with 2 heads or half a leg he would think i was imagining something was wrong with me. Oh and say it was viral. He told me this last visit ’ I have to believe my cancer has gone’

They never take me seriously and to think this is exactely what happened when they mis diagnosed my BC is unbelievable.

My oncologist on the whole is good when you see her, but her registrars are appalling and if i am concerned about anything i now ask to see the consultant.

I do think though that they have a ‘set’ pattern of treatment and follow up appts and thats it. You fit into how they treat all patients with your Dx.

How wonderful Janes ‘You are a unique person who should be treated with respect’ is.

I must admit though I am getting bolder and seeing myself as unique.

My breast care nurses have been fantastic just recently and they have access to the consultants.

thinking of you hun
Let us know if you get in touch with anyone this blooming disease is tough enough without us being practically ignored.



Jane’s right - they may see many people similar to you but we are all different. I was told that the chemo they were offering me probably wouldn’t work as the stats showed that people with the late stage of liver mets that I have don’t respond. Well, guess what? I did respond and that was just over a year ago and am on my 22nd cycle of that particular chemo.

My oncologist was extremely surprised but pleased in how well I did respond so I think it does go to show you that we are all different and unique.

Take care.


Hi Jane

Thanks for your support - I needed to read your comment to make me realise that sometimes, those whom we expect would be able to see us as individuals cannot listen effectively and communicate that they have really heard . You are absolutely right- good doctors do listen as I well know from my own G.P. who always acknowledges that she is dealing with individuals not ‘cases’- pity that when we are faced with the ‘expert’ we are not afforded the same respect that we freely give to them.

PS. Can spell STATISTIC - fingers were running ahead of my brain that day!!!

Seren XX

PS. I can actually spell statistic - my fingers were obviously running ahead of my brain when I wrote the post!!!

Hi Pinkdove and Liverbird

Think I too need to be more assertive if I am ever to have the discussion I needed that day - thanks for your support and comments.

Although fairly new to this site, I have read some of your other posts and you both sound like strong ladies with a wealth of experience in dealing with this horrid disease and all the things it throws at us.

If you look at my previous post you’ll notice that my brain has stopped functioning altogether now!!!

Seren XX

Hi Seren

I think all our brains stop functioning at some time or other!!! I’m not sure whether it’s part of getting older or the chemo!

I’ve lived with breast cancer since 1995 (since 2004 with secondaries) and set up our support group 10 years ago because there was nothing in our area. I need to be busy and since having to take early retirement in 2004 I’ve changed one type of work for another but unpaid! I’m also a member of our cancer network group which looks at improving cancer services across our county and I really enjoy that work because it’s not about ‘me’ but my experience in being able to have input into discussions, if you know what I mean!

I used to work with drug users so am used to working in the ‘caring’ community and Social Services before that.

It’s not always easy being assertive but I do think there are ways of being able to be assertive without being perceived as aggressive. Also, it’s not always easy putting your thoughts/views across in an articulate way when you’re feeling quite anxious - I know as I’ve been there so many times!! Part of it, for me, is because I’ve really got to know my oncologist now and I feel so much more at ease with her (rather than wondering what other bad news she was going to tell me!) - we’ve even exchanged books that we both like!

Take care.