Am feeling better today. OH and baby came with me yesterday and we had lovely lunch in cafe rouge. Today we are all going and then to Selfridges toy dep as Tommy has stayed in his own bed all night for a whole week - so treat in store.
Birmingham was my choice, had beyween birminham and Derby. But if I had gone to Derby I wouldve had to change onc consultant and it wouldve been 5 weeks. Birmingham is only 3 (due to machine types). Also I know the way to birmingham and OHs sister lives near hsp so we I can pop in sometimes.
2 weeks to go !
Life was easy when you think back, but imagine how easy it will seem when we are fit again !
Good attitude with infections - get them sorted.
Glad your brother is going with you - the chemos donet get easier, ket him help it will make hime feel good too.
Have a great weekend if I dont “talk” to yuo before
I love Selfridges - that’s where I bought my wig from in the end, the girl who served me was really nice, not at all patronising. And Cafe Rouge is my favourite place to eat in Brum. I’m originally from Birmingham, only moved here when I got married as Hubby is a local. Is it the QE hospital you go to - that’s where my Dad went for his radiotherapy ? My parents live just by there in Harborne.
I got my appointment through for my MRI scan today. Seems the radiologist thinks it may be of benefit in helping me decide about the mastectomy. It’s great news but a bit scary in case they find something. But forewarned is forearmed as they say. I go a week on Monday (19th) to the Glenfield. It’s one of those in a tube - I’m a bit worried about the claustophobia but reckon I’ll just close my eyes & try to find a happy place.
Got my first parents evening on Tuesday, a bit daft really considering she’s only been at school 5 weeks but I suppose it’ll give us some idea how she’s settling in. We only get a 10 minute slot though. I’ll need at least half an hour!
Hope you have a good weekend - and you’re not too sore. I’m looking forward to my brother coming - there’ll be a rowdy evening with the rugby on, fingers crossed for our boys.
Hi Alison
Looking forward to the rugby too - although I must say we are fair weather fans. Used to be an excuse to go to the pub, before kids that is.
Yup its the QE, radiotherapy dep seems huge, but very nice. The play area worked out really well. Have been stopping at Harborne for shops and really enjoying it. I am getting more into BH. After Living in London I was reluctant to enjoy another city but I am pleased to be getting to know BH.
I had my MRI at Derby - it was fine, bit intimidating people were lovely. They gave me head phones wih radio on so you can tune out a bit, but the machine is very noisy. Also you are on your tummy so its difficult to position your head right as you put it on one side so head phones slip off. Also its quite funny getting into position as you have to flop you boobs into the hollow in the trolley. I did this at the beginning when I wasnt used to all this boobs out buisiness. Now it wouldnt worry me at all. You got to laugh. You will be able to find a happy place and I quite enjoyed the compulsory lie down for a while.
Parents evening - scary stuff. Enjoy all your 10 min talking about her, I dont think we indulge ourselves enough in being proud of them. Different from our day, teachers are not allowed to say anything bad - so enjoy.
The rugby was fantastic - not quite sure how the kids slept through all the cheering at the end. We had a great day with my brother & family. He’s having everyone over for the final next week but unfortunately I’ll be 2 days post chemo so won’t really be in the mood for joining in.
Been to Rugby today for a spot of lunch which was great. There’s a play area at the pub so it makes waiting for food with young children a breeze. We don’t tend to go out anywhere where we have to wait & there’s no play area, not worth the stress!!! Glad to hear they have a play area at the QE - not sure if they have one at the Royal but would be a great help if they have.
Have just read another thread on “Younger women” about the effectiveness (or lack of) of chemotherapy for ER+ cancers in younger women (thread “If you’re under 40, no chemo maybe the best option”). Quite interesting, worth a read if you get a chance, but I’m still glad I’m having it, awful as it is. It only compares women having chemotherapy with ER+ and ER- tumours. It doesn’t compare those with eacvh type of tumour & not having chemotherapy at all which would have been more useful.
My fluffy head is really coming on now - it’s really lovely to stroke, hubby is loving it. My daughter is so excited the hair’s coming back, think she associates it with me getting better which is fantastic.This has been a really tough time for her.
Hope you are enjoying your weekend and getting used to your prosthesis. I would like to get to the point where I feel that I could have the mastectomy without a reconstruction - it seems like a really big op for cosmetic purposes. Are you definately going for the reconstruction or do you think you may change your mind when the time comes? Do you have to wear everything that comes comes up to your chin? I’m big busted so need to wear a lot of V-necked tops to compliment my shape & so would worry that I couldn’t do so with a prosthesis.
We enjoyed the rugby too - not often we get to cheer England on.
Pubs with play areas are a godsend - and those with other kids in them even better as you dont have to play in them yourself to get your kids in them. When we were little we used to go to pub gardens in the summer sometimes, now the indoor areas mean our generation can go all year round !
My OH was always rubbing my head - thinks its a fur thing. Its great its coming back. Mine is great now, a little grey but I am loving it. Dont think I`ll ever take it for granted again. Am looking forward to a trim next week and sitting in the front windo of the hairderessers.
At the moment I am convinced I will have a recon - life is OK with the prosthesis, but far from care free. I am 38 F so have a few challenges. The heavier prosthesis is much much better and generally clothes are OK now. The low cut tops will be an issue as when you lean forward there is always a gap between the prosthesis and your skin. This might be worse in my case as the surgeon left a lot of skin there for the reconstruction and the prosthesis is pushed away a bit. I have swimming to contend with and well see how that goes. Also the prosthesis seems huge when not in place and you have to put it away in a mold each night. This I keep under the bed as its also in a box which seems huge. When we go away Ill have to take a suitcase just for it. But they have said about a year before a recon so by then I may be will be more able to take it all in my stride, and it is a big operation. Ho hum, something to keep my mind busy when the treatment is over
8 more rads to go !
Still not clear on the HER2 staining (not enough sample again !).
Hope number 5 went as OK as it could and you are heading for some of the good days.
Finished my rads - big toys and Pizza all round in the Bull ring. Faired OK, just a bit pink - just right for all the pink things around at the moment.
Went to the Doctors this morning and he was concerned that their display might have upset me. Very sweet I thought. Said that maybe next year I¬d be able to get involved in some events but this year I just wanted to forget about it.
Looks like I am no longer menapausal as I had a period this week - hoe thats what it was. Hence at the GPs to get hormones checked. Womens bodies seem relentlessly tought to me.
I am looking forward to a sleep in on Monday - but for now its all hands on deck for the weekedn. Last Sunday I even managed to get up with the kids and give OH a lie in. Hope I can do that this Sunday.
Hope you have enjoyed half term and have gor lots of orange things for halloween and trick or treat.
Sorry I’ve not been around. My PCs had it - toddler dropping it on the floor seemed to seal its fate so am now on hubby’s works one til I get a new one.
Well done on getting through your rads. Another hurdle over. I know what you mean about the resilience of the body. I’m getting periods although I wish I wasn’t - NO OESTROGEN PLEASE!!! Are you down for Tamoxifen? That should get the menopause on it’s way.I just worry about becoming a menopausal shape - no waist etc
Number 5 went OK - the Neulasta seems to be working wonders. My bloods were fine & the whols family have come down with coughs & sneezes and I’ve been nursing them all and have touch wood been unaffected. I seem to be coping with the chemo symptoms much better now - a far cry from number 1 when there was no way I could see getting through 5 more. The nurse at hospital said that younger women tend to find it gets easier.
I know what you mean about the pink things, can’t buy kitchen cleaner without a pink ribbon staring me in the face. Cancer research even put a pink ribbon in their door drop - I can’t wear it though for fear it’ll look like I feel sorry for myself - do you know what I mean? My kids got cancer research stickers at Sainsbury’s yesterday because they emptied mummy’s purse into the charity box. I even felt that I was getting them to get people to feel sorry for me. It’s really odd I almost feel that I can’t be seen to support cancer charities because of seeming self interest.
I gave hubby a lie in this morning, had a load of washing done, breakfast down the kids,polished the woodwork & washed the pots by 9am. I felt great. He’s been looking after me all week when he gets home from work and been full of cold so felt glad that I felt up to it so he could have a break.
I am seriously considering mastectomy now after chemo. Have got my MRI scan on Monday now, they put it back a week, but I feel very strongly now that I want to give it no chance to come back. Almost like I want to finish the job & get on with the rest of my life. Not sure about recon at tis stage - just seems such a big op think I’ll have had enough by then!
Hope you have good weekend & looking forward to some apple bobbing next week.
Take care
Alison
Just read your post on insensitive friends/comments - I could add a few, mothers being the worsed culptits sometimes.
Hope your MRI went OK, when will they discuss the results ?
I think I only made up my mind about the prohylactic matectomy I hope to have when I was near the end of the chemo - never again if I can help it rings in my ears. But also I have only the one to lose now and it will also balance me up. To choose to loos the 1st one would be very tough, I dont envy you.
Feeling a bit hit by a bus so far thios week, cold hasnt helped. But I can see light. I was worried I`d miss hospital visits, they fill up the day and lets face it we get used to the TLC. But I am relieved to find I dont miss it at all and am longing for a whole week without anything - next week.
This week I have appt with onc - think I am expecting something profound, but doubt it will be. Hope to find out for sure about herceptin though.
Have just said goodnight to little boy whole declared he loves me (awwwwhhhh, whats he after) but that he doesnt like his baby sister. I can see why she is now grabbing all his toys and standing in the way of the telly ! I thinks its cute but can see where he s coming from.
I bet your husband was delighted, not only with his lie in but that youe were on good form. My OH is just so pleased when I feel good.
We were at the local library and put loads of money in the tombola tin - didnt win. I know exactly what you mean thoogh I didnt want the stickers - maybe next year.
Hope your little girl has gone back OK after half term. Halloween to come ! Not sure apple bobing is the thing anymore, but I have a big bag of sweets. Usually we get only a few callers and have to eat all ourselves - shame.
Would they offer you a recon at the same time as the mastectomy ?
Well I got the cold in the end - it had to happen!!! Loads of my friends are out of bounds at the moment though - dropping like flies from a virus that’s hitting everywhere. It’s like I’m in quarantine!
On MILs PC now while we get ours sorted. What a palava.
Consultant says they won’t do recon at the same time which I’m glad about because it’s a big op and I want to have time to think about whether I want it done. Was reading up on it the other night & it left me dizzy. TRAM flaps & all sorts. What type of recon are you having?
I’ve got my other brother coming this weekend & we are off to the Sealife Centre on Sunday in Brum so the days will whizz by.
I know what you mean about Mums comments - mine is a past master at it.
The scan was OK, I just closed my eyes & found a happy place. I wasn’t expecting to be hooked up to the injection machine though that was a surprise & the cod liver oil capsules on the nipples made me chuckle.
Hope your well and had a good weekend. We had a really nice time, kids were on good form and I felt like I was bouncing back abit. The week before I had done too much and ended up exhausted and run down. It was a good lesson though as I really learned how its important to look after yourself as an investment for the future and not run before I can walk !
When do you get the results of the scan ?
Saw onc on Thursday and I dont have to go back until Feb - at 1st I was a bit worried, but now relieved. I have his number and can ring if I am worried. They have changed me from arimidex to tamxifen, and I am HER2+ so will start the herceptin.
Have just taken tamoxifen and am trying not to sit here and wait for side effects !
Yes the recon does seem a mass of daunting decisions - I am hoping some will be made for me ! The BCN said the recon surgeon checks you over and discuss what might be possible for you, so I am waiting until then. No dates discussed yet.
Am hoping to go swimming next week when my costumne arrives, see ing how easy or not these things are will help with the final decision as to whether to have one or not. At 1st I was annoyed tyey wouldnt do one at the same time as the mastectomy, but now I am releived to be taking each thing a step at a time and can enjoy the times in between things.
I didnt have anything for my nipples - now I am jealous
Good that you don’t have to go back for a few months now - at least you get a relatively peaceful xmas. Not sure what mine will be like - I get the results at my next appointment with the surgeon, 19th November. Still reckon I’ll go for the mastectomy though but the scan will also show if there’s any disease in the other side which will be a big help. So not sure when they would do the surgery - hoping as it’s not a treatment but a preventative measure that they’ll leave me until after xmas but not sure til I see surgeon.
Got my last chemo this Friday, can’t believe I’m so pleased at the prospect of being poisoned. Never thought it would come, just hope the Neulasta has done it’s thing so that I can have my treatment.
My hairs coming on nicely now - everyone is very surprised. I just hope I’m not part of some secret trial where they’ve given me a placebo!!!
I know what you mean about overdoing it - I got a day without the kids yeaterday so decided to do some decorating. Needless to say I got a verbal slap on the wrists from everyone, I was really tired by the end. Looks nice though, and SO needed doing. The house is looking very tired because it hasn’t had the attention it’s needed since DX so I just got the urge & got my paintbrush out.
Plus the fact I know that I’ll be out of action for the next week or so, so got to strike while the iron’s hot.
Still got no PC, insurance company have arranged for someone to look at it tomorrow to see if it can be fixed. If not will have to replace it. Really missing my PC now so hope they can fix it so I can get back to internet shopping etc.
Managed to go to the NEC on Saturday for the International Cake Show which I’d been looking forward to for months. It was so tiring one day after chemo but I managed it but am paying for it now. Thankfully hubby’s got the day off & kids are being entertained the next few days by family & friends so I should be able to get back on track.
Thats exactly how I felt - the deed is done. I am very impressed you went to the NEC, those exhibitions are tiring at the best of times. Enjoy the child care while you can. They just have so much energy.
I feel I am bouncing back a bit. Bit more energy etc and aches and pains are becoming distinct areas and events rather than that just all over feeling. Today I went swimming, just paddled about really but felt great. My new costume still hadnt arrived but I put my bra on under my old costume to hold the prostesis then a lycra T-shirt on to cover all. Got a few looks, but am I bothered ! Not anymore mate. Felt like shouting - your lucky I have hair now ! Next challenge to take kids, but will enjoy going on my own for a while. Also see how I ache tommorrow !
Sounds like the appointment with consultant will be a big one, some decisions to make.
Hope you get out and about next few weeks - Xmas shopping perhaps ? I am finding it hard to stop spending !
Have finally got my new PC so will be messaging as usual from now on. Hurrah!
Boy, this chemo has knocked me about a bit - just like the first 2. Think I’m harbouring a bit of cold still which I can’t seem to shake off - that won’t be helping! I’ve been completely shattered today - had to look after my 2 year old for 6 hours - the longest 6 hours of my life. I think they sense weakness like cats - he wouldn’t have a nap (normally has 2 hrs in the afternoon) and insisted on climbing all over my aching muscles.
Thankfully the in-laws have him all day tomorrow so I’ll be able to catch up on my rest. I have felt quite depressed over the last couple of days - I usually do 5-6 days after the chemo, think it’s down to the steroids - but this time it seems worse. A real feeling of not being in control of anything & feeling like a rubbish Mum. To be expected I suppose. Wonder if I would benefit from seeing a psychologist - did you say that you see someone? A counsellor etc? Is that through your breast care centre?
Glad you got to swim, I know what you mean about not caring anymore about people staring. I used to go nowhere without a wig and/or hat but now I’m happier in my scarf & am desperate to feel secure enough with my fluffy head. Mind you it’s getting a bit cold for that now.
I see the consultant on Monday & will be telling him to book me in for the op. Just hope they can get me out before Xmas. I shall cry a river if I’m stuck in hospital on Xmas morning.
Now I’ve got me PC I need to scour t’internet for Xmas shopping ASAP before they get me under the knife.
Hope you have a good weekend
Take care mate
Alison
x
Hope this will be 3rd time lucky ! My PC is working, but not my brain.
My last FEC was really tough, I had run out of all my resiliance and was really knocked for 6. Also felt like everyone was watching and waiting for me to get well and I just couldnt. I did in the end.
I am now beginning to feel a bit more in control. The psycologist is great, she helps with all aspects, expcially the balancing of being a mum and being under the weather. Its hard. I have also had anti-depressants since end of July, they help too.
The BCN refferred me in the end, but I had to ask a few times. Think the consultants didnt see through the brave face but she did. I dont often see the BCH as they donet get involved in the private patients appointments etc. I think this is a shame, now I feel ok about rining the BCN for myself but at first nobody even really told me about them.
How did your appointment with surgeon go ? whats the plan ?
I start herceptin on Friday. No side effects of tamoxifen yet, figers crossed
Had a kiddie fest weekend at my brothers. great fun, but i had to sleep each afternoon.
I seem to have shaken the chemo effects off now but this cold/cough still lingering. But hey a cold’s a doddle compared to the chemo, most things are.
Onc has given me my 1st box of tamoxifen to start in a few weeks - I just keep staring at the box, unsure of what side effects it may hold. The first thing the oncologist said about them was you may put on weight. NO!! I’ve already put on a stone with the chemo & can’t fit into any of my clothes.
Had appt with surgeon on Monday - my MRI scan was all clear for both breasts. The relief to know that there’s not been any more little beggars in there possibly spreading & setting up camp elsewhere is enormous. I’m still going ahead with the mastectomy though for the best defence against recurrence. I’m booked in for surgery on 18th December. However, the BCN phoned me yesterday to say that it is possible for me to have an immediate reconstruction - however as they are 1 plastic surgeon down there’s a waiting list. It will only mean having to wait until feb/march so think I will go for that. It means only 1 stay in hospital & 1 lot of pain & recovery. Less disruption to the children that way too.
Only problem is that with the op the week before xmas I’d got out of having to do the xmas dinner! Doh!
Is the herceptin a weekly treatment? I hope your side effects are minimal.
Hope it goes OK for you - let me know how you get on.
I have had Tamoxifen for 3 weeks now and no major side effects. I am not eating that much and should kind of be loosing weoght I figure, but aint. So blame tamoxifen, all fat is settling in my middle. Oh well. But other than that its OK.
Great news on the MRI - such a relief. Now you know it will be a prophylactic mastectomy. Think I`d wait for 1 op. Thats what Ive been advised.
Herceptin is every 3 weeks. Shouldnt be too bad. As you say most things are nothing compared with the chemo.
Had CT scan today of chest and abdomen - just to check that my aches and pains are just my unfitness and weak muscles after the baby. Bone scan next tuesday and results on Thursday hopefully.
I am enjoying shopping for the kids - but not so much for the relo`s.
Have 2 sister in laws visiting this weekend, 1 I get on well with, the other I have never been fond of. She hasnt phoned once to see if we are OK, ask about OH or the baby. When I said that my OH and baby had a tummy bug (yesterday when she phoned to check they could still come) all she said was that she hoped she didnt get it when she came. I have always bitten my tongue in the past - dont know if I`ll be able to now if she is her usual self ! Have found myself SO wanting to push old people over in the supermarket when they push in front of me.
Will let you know how I get on with herceptin - and the in laws
How did the Herceptin go? I hope you’ve been ok with it.
What about your weekend - hope all your bugs have cleared up & the in laws behaved!
We had a very quiet weekend, I’m just trying to recharge whilst the chemo flushes out. Although I only had my last lot 2 weeks ago everybody seems to think it’s all over now. They forget that it’s still in my body & I am still vulnerable to infections etc. The phone calls & well wishing seems to have depleted somewhat - funny how quickly people forget!
I’ve told the breast clinic that I would like to go ahead with the single operation in the new year - gulp! I’m actually feeling very strong & positive about it. The hospital have loaned me a brilliant DVD about reconstruction in the local health trust. It covers what to expect at each stage of the process which has eliminated a lot of the fears I had initially - all to often with hospitals it’s a case of finding out when it happens & with such a major operation it’s good to be somewhat prepared. Plus I’m hoping to have my good breast reduced to match the new one eventually so am looking forward to a nice new pair of puppies - I’m after C-cups (I’m G at the moment) so that I can wear the kind of tops I’ve never been able to. Gotta look for the positive in all this!!!