Jane
Hows things? Have you had any results yet?
Just to let you know I’m thinking of you
Hope to hear from you soon
xx
Hi Alison
Many thanks - lovely to see your message. Please dont be upset by my results (below), as said I am looking forward to feeling a whole lot better for the weekend and Xmas now I can dose up and when the zometa and herceptin start to work.
Scans of liver and luns OK, but in my spine and ribs. In a perverse way I am relieved, I can dose up with pain killers and get on with my life. Pick up the baby agin knowing I am not pulling muscles etc.
The treatment will be herceptin to reduce/contain it with Zometa to reduild bones and some hefty pain killers. Review in 3 months, if Herceptin not wotking then chemotherapy.
I am quite serene - daunted by telling folk again. Especially my mum. I lied on the phone last night and said all was OK. We were going there today anyway to drop kids off to be looked after so I can tell her in person. Will feel better then. This disease now even has my lying to my mum.
I would go for a reduction - I am an F and they have been a pain in the a*** in many ways ! Also think its good to go for one operation, they can use some of the skin and you only need to recover once
Have a good weekend - we are ditching leicestershire for my old stomping ground of York and some serious retail therapy
TFN
Jane
Jane
I know you said not to be upset but I’m afraid I am. I’m not really sure what to say - you think I’d know better wouldn’t you!
I found it so heartbreaking to hear about you telling your Mum (or not). I hope that you have now had a chance to speak to her & that you are feeling more at ease.
You don’t deserve this mate. You have been such an inspiration to me & I just wanted you to know that.
Take care chick - I’m thinking of you. Hope you get some great bargains & have a good weekend
Big e-hugs
Alison
x
Hi Alison
Thanks for the message and hugs.
I told my mum on Friday when we went to take the baby for the weekend. She was upset and concerned that I had/was in pain. But now with the pain killers on board I am so much better and could tell her this. Also she appreciated why I had told her on Thursday night that all was OK. Saw her on Sunday night when we picked up the baby and that we had had a great weekend cheered her up too. But its hard for her as she doesnt have any friends where she lives, moved there 6 yrs ago to be near my brother and his kids. She is busy looking after the grandchildren which she loves, but hasnt made any friends of her own. Her sister is a bit OTT on the old emotion and panic. However, my mum said she`ll be strong for me. The main thing is that there are drugs that can be used these days that werent around when her mum died in 1972 (BC, wnet to bones). Herceptin should do the trick and then chemo if not, these werent there then, so there is real hope.
You dont need to say anything, and thanks for being brave enough to reply and keep reading my messages. As I got over my radiotherapy I started to not log on so much, just every now and again to see if you had sent a message. And this has been great whilst I was waiting for results etc.
Dont think I can face the rounds of crumpled faces as I tell people this time. OHs mum is poorly with strokes about 1/month and his Dad doesnt know what day of the week it is so I dont think we`ll tell them. But then he doesnt have the support of his parents like I do. He has his 6 sisters and brother but I cant bare to tell them before Xmas.
Oncologist seems to think Herceptin will put me in remission and that I can think of working again in sprng. Thats my light ! Short term I can pick up baby again, pain killers really good, and take Tommy to nursery, go swimming and wrap presents. Can even try on clothes again wothout wincing. Feel better than I have in months. Xmas eve I`ll be able to go swimming with my children and nephew and neice just like we did last year.
Speaking of shopping, how is yours getting on ? We ordered Tommy a fire station play thing which arrived last week, so am relieved. He is going to love it. Baby girl is getting a rocking lottie, she doesnt need any more toys but they are nearly all hand m downs, and I am going to buy her lots of clothes from my mum and me.
We had a great weekend - oh to be buggie free in the coffee shops ! We had some lovely meals and a few bottles of wine, read the papers and looked at adult clothes. I`d forgotton how lovely York is. Also bored OH alot with “When I was young we used to…” as we lived near York until I went to uni.
Tried to book conkerchoo at conkers for the santa express, but its fully booked. Do you know anywhere else goo we could take 4 kids, 10 months, 3.5. yrs, 4 yrs and 7 to see santa on Sun 23rd ?
TFN
Jane
Jane
Sounds like you had a wonderful time at the weekend & that it’s done you the world of good. It’s like being on a different planet without a pushchair isn’t it? You can go up escalators, and stairs!!
It must mean the world to you that you can pick your daughter up again - I remember how robbed I felt not being able to pick my boy up after my op. Got the prospect of that all over again but hey, needs must. I’m having a bit of a ding-dong with the hospital as the immediate recon they offered me may not be possible til May now. I’m not happy to wait that long without any op or rads so might be going back to plan A - the 2 op (3 incl reduction) procedure. But my BCN couldn’t confirm today whether the 18th Dec slot I was originally down for is still available to me - will hopefully find out in next couple of days. It’s just getting a bit close now & I want to be able to plan a bit.
I’m not enjoying the shopping one bit. Doing as much as possible online but then worry about them being delivered when my daughter’s here - will kind of shatter the illusion when a Toys R Us van delivers Santa’s gifts for him.
My kids are booked on the Great Central Railway Santa Express at Loughborough on 22nd. Not sure how far that is from you. We went last year & it was really lovely, the kids loved it - almost as much as the grandparents!!! It’s a ride on a steam train & santa brings them all presents (sex & age approprate), they get a snack and drink & adults get mulled wine/sherry & the best mince pies I’ve ever tasted. Think there’s still availability for the 23rd if you’re interested - you can book online or you can phone 08708 308297
My girl has here 1st ever nativity play next week - she’s an angel. I’m so excited! Just hope we can take camcorders in so she can watch herself back - one of her favourite pastimes.
So glad the pain is under control & you’ve got the Herceptin underway. It really is a wonder drug from what I’ve heard.
Take care
Alison
xx
Hi Alison
I`ll look into the railway - we went on one of the Thomas days last year with little boy and friends, great fun. Loughborough is just up the raod - work there. When I first got my job I lived in Rothely - really nice, with the steam railway running by the end of the garden - just rented though.
Toys R us = santa, we know that but they dont need to. Fortunately our ordered stuff arrived on a nursery day and we are going to buy a little bike on Thursday.
What a pain about the ops - you dont like to be pushy but then waiting to hear, not making plans etc is a right pain. I wouldnt want to wait til may w/o rads. Get it off or get it zapped.
They had Xmas sons at the nursery last night, so cute. They certainly love to watch themselves or see photos of them selves. Did you make the costume ?
Am in the internet cafe again as our pc is banning us from using internet. So will use some time now looking at loughborough railway
Take care
Jane
Hiya Jane
Got appt to see consultant tomorrow. Can’t wait. I just want to get this waiting over & hope I’ll find out when my op will be. I’ve been in tears twice this week to the BCN & Health visitor - just not like me. I’ve never really cried about all this apart from when I was diagnosed so all this to-ing & fro-ing must be stressing me out. Just hope I don’t blub at the consultant tomorrow.
No I haven’t made the costume, thankfully. I think she might be embarrased to wear it if I’d have got the sewing machine out. Not my strongest asset needlework.
Hope you’re feeling ok
Take care
Alison
x
Hi Alison
Am feeling fine - had a good cry today at the psychologist. Aches and pains seems to be getting a bit less, and my ability to cope seems to be dependant on how tired I am.
How did the consultant go - have you a plan ?
I am going tomorrow to see consultant (kind of pushed for an appointment) as I feel left a bit high and dry by the oncologist, and the breast surgeon a bit. I want to know that it isnt lurking anywhere else ! I feel awful that I have asked for another appointment but the BCN said I am not pushy at all. We were with her for over 2 hrs on Monday to bring OH up tp speed with it all. I have been taking it all on myslef - my own choosing, but now its time to share. She was fantastic and he felt so much better after.
This is an emotional week and lots of appointments, but then I hope we can head for Xmas full steam ahead from next week. Got the decorations up and even started some food shopping much to OHs relief. Its my Birthday on 24th Dec so he is taking me out for the day the Friday before and has booked kids in nursery extra - should be fun. Nice pub lunch I think.
Let me know how it went
TFN
Jane
Jane
Sounds like you’ve had a rough few days. Glad you are sharing the burden a bit - it’s a lot to take on by yourself.
I go in on the 18th or 19th - not sure which yet, got to ring them tomorrow. It’s making it hard to plan with everything up in the air. I’m just having the mastectomy. Consultant said better that way, minimises my risk & that’s what’s most important to me. No matter how hard things are going to be I’ve got to do what I can for my future.
Haven’t told little girl yet - am worried how she’ll take it. She found it really hard last time when I was in hospital, very upset. Breaks my heart to think about it.
Hope all your appointments go OK. You know where I am if you need to offload.
Happy birthday if I don’t hear from you before I go in & hope you have a great day Friday.
Take care
Alison
x
Hi Alison
I know its going to be pretty cr*p being in hospital just before Xmas - but imagine how good you`ll feel when its over. As you say its all for the future and many many Xmass to come.
Went to see the breast caonsultant yesterday and bresat care nurse - its funny how I have turned back to them rather than the oncology dep. But I feel a whole lot better. The surgeon wasnt that impressed with my secondaries - said one on rib might even be an injury, and ones in back are only just detectable - what am I worried about. The treatments will put me in remission etc. Its good to be “told” sometimes. The breast care nurses have been great, its only by chance that I phoned them, but am so glad I did the other week.
Litlle girl will be upset - but I am sure they`ll make the hospital environment as nice as possible. My little boy visited the day after my op and I had a cuddle in the bed with him and he had a ride in the remote controlled bed etc. Had lots of sweets in my locker which really helped, and pleanty of people to make a fuss of him. Domnt be affraid of them spensing time at the hospital with you.
Genetecist today.
TFN
Jane
Jane
Have told daughter - she has been complaining about a phantom tummy ache since! It’s going to be hard on all of us I think but it’s got to be done.
Hubby is taking time off work to look after them so they won’t be ferried about too much like they were last time - hoping that will help. She’s already excited about playing with the buttons on the bed, the sweets are a good idea, thanks.
Spent the weekend at my brothers which was nice, it was very relaxing. So nice not to be surrounded by housework!
Trying to get everything organised before Wednesday but feel I’m failing miserably. There’s ebough to do before going into hospital at the best of times but I’ve got to get xmas arranged too - I won’t be doing much wrapping when I get out. Went for my pre-op today. They said they hope I’ll be home for xmas, I felt like saying “don’t worry I’ll be discharging myself if not!”
Good news you got from the surgeon, I bet that was a real relief - I’m so pleased. The word “remission” sounds so good doesn’t it. Can’t wait until someone says it to me.
Not sure if I’ll get a chance to log on tomorrow so if not I’ll be on when I get back home, see how you are & let you know how it all went.
Take it easy & hope you have a great xmas.
Alison
xx
Hi Alison
Logged on to say good luck on Wed - hope all goes well and you are out before Xmas. Try to enjoy the few days you are in there to get lots of rest ready for ripping off all that paper on the 25th. Make use of the drug drip thing if they give you one and take plenty of pain relief when you get home.
I have bought some very lazy food for Xmas dinner - crime of crime, pre-made sausagemeat stuffing and pre-made gravy ! All the more time to spend with the kids.
Look forward to catching up when you get home
TFN
Jane
hi jane
well i’m all done. the boob has gone.am online in hospital but not the keyboard is v tricky so excuse the bad typing - plus i keep nodding off
went down at 11 this morn. not too much pain due to morphine.notmanaged food, keep getting sick
had my own room but now back on ward. i’ve asked to go back as it makes visits from kids so much easier. said hopefully they can tomorrow,
well mate gotta catchup on my beauty sleep
hope you can message soon - i’ll appreciate the company!!!
hope you are feeling ok - are you all ready for xmas?
did you book the steam train by the way? my 2 go on saturday.
take it easy
Alison
Hi Alison
Glad to hear the op went OK. Hope youve managed something to eat. We`ve just had a lovely chinese takeaway - very unfestive.
Have got all the pressie that matter and most food - phew. Think I overdid it yesterday as was exhausted in the evening. Today I have had a very lazy day. Am going to Burton hospital and town tommorrow then planning on staying in Ashby from then on. Brother and family arrive on Sat aft.
Didnt book train in the end - brother not so keen. Have been on the normal train there and Thomas last summer. Your kids are in for a treat.
Hope they can visit tommorrow and you`ll be home before Xmas.
The 2nd day after my op I got really upset as I couldnt see how I could go home, face things with one boob. Then the breast care nurse came and sorted me out with the soft prothesis and a bit of TLC and I felt loads better. Marched out with head held high.
Get a good nights sleep and enjoy your visitors tommorrow.
TFN
Jane
jane
hoping to go home today, hurrah!
Kids were great visiting, didn’t make too much mayhem.It was great to see them - got some sweets in for them - that worked wonders thanks for the suggestion.
Have you had any more Herceptin yet? sorry I’ve lost all track. Xmas has thrown me totally. Hope you are doing ok.
I’m feeling very happy & so chuffed to be going home. Got my mastectomy bra catalogues to browse through during my convalesence!!!
Take care
xx
Jane
I’m home. Kids gone on the Santa special this afternoon so got a bit of time to chill out & catch up.
Not quite in the Christmas mood yet, think I need to go to a carol concert & sip some mulled wine.
Scar’s a bit tender but nothing as bad as I imagined. Got my great big softee in so look relatively normal, as long as you don’t look at my hair, ha ha! I bet yours is coming on a treat now. I’ve got about an inch - I’m so pleased.
Hope you are getting a chance to chill out
Take it easy
xx
Hi Alison
Glad to hear all went well.
Hope you had a great Xmas - we did. Very very relaxing for a chahge and although it was at our house I didnt do much at all after the initial shopping. The kids were on fantastic form.
New year to go. We have friends visiting but am sure it will be very relaxed.
The softies work well, the prosthesis is even better. My hair is looking fine - have had it cut a few times. Many people dont recognise me with it short. I am going to keep it this way for a while.
Herceptin and zometa on Friday 4th Jan.
Have oophrectomy scheduled for 28th Jan - will be glad to get these out of the way so to speak.
Are you planning anything for new year ?
TFN
Jane
Jane
Good to hear from you.
Happy New Year!!! We had a quite night in & I’m glad to see the back of 2007 I can tell ye.
Everything is healing well. Getting the occasional sharp pain but nothing major. Today is my 1st day without any painkillers & it’s been fine.
Christmas didn’t quite turn out as planned. Hubby had stomach bug, daughter had tonsilitis, some had ear & chest infection & MIL who was supposed to be cooking had bronchitis. I was the only healthy one among us! How ironic eh?
It’s been great having hubby at home since the operation. I’ve been able to get plenty of sleep & rest and we’ve been able to spend some great time altogether. I’m not looking forward to school starting on Thursday & am even less enthusiastic about hubby going back to work on Monday. It’s been lovely in our little bubble!
Got daughter’s birthday coming up so am busy planning everything for her party - my friends have been fantastic with all the offers of help. I’m making the most of it while it lasts.
Hope everything goes well on Friday & that you are not in any discomfort,
Take it easy matey
Alison
x
Hi Alison
Your bubble sounds very nice - you still have it til Monday so enjoy. We had a good xmas, bugs meant my mum and dad couldnt come which was a shame but my brother and his family came. In the absence of our parents my brother and I degenerated to teenge slobs and had a great time. We watched telly, ate what we liked whenever, let the kids be loud and unruly and barely spoke to each other. Very relaxing. I didnt lift a finger. New year we had visitors - old friends from uni who all chipped in, it was good fun but very tiring. One friend has MS and her OH is partially sighted but for once they were the ones helping out and I think they really enjoyed not being the worsed off. I couldnt ben down at all, Clare could bend down but not get up ! you got to laugh.
Had another herceptin and zometa today. I feel fime, just tired but for the 1st time in ages it feels like a good tired. Broken the ice I think. My back and muscles have been lousy and I was beginning to think I`d never get better - but the past few days have been good with lots of rest.
Whens your daughters birthday - my little girl is 1 on 25th Jan. Time flys.
Bye to 2007, hope 2008 treats us a but better.
TFN
Jane
Jane
Your Xmas sounds like heaven to me…glad you got lots of help.
2008 has been better than 2007 so far. Not much to go on I know but hey, you gotta look for the positive in everything.
I went for my post op appointment today with surgeon. He said that they found no disease in the breast they removed which was great news. I must admit that the thought of some bod in a white coat looking down a microscope at my detatched boob as quite eeerie. Wierd or what???
It means that I won’t need to have radiotherapy and that other than the Tamoxifen my treatment is pretty much over. Got appt with the recon clinic in a couple of weeks to have a chat about procedures etc. I’m not really in a rush for the recon as such but would like the good one reduced ASAP to balance things out a bit.
Daughter’s bday is the 14th, party is on Sunday. She’s so excited. I must say though the thought of 37 kids to keep an eye on rather daunting. I’m worried that I’ll get even more last minute replies at the school gates this week. Think I’ll go in disguise to school - I don’t want anymore!!!
I always say I’m going to make these parties easy on myself but end up being frazzled. I’ll never learn. Missed my boy’s 2nd birthday so kind of want to make up for it. Just hope I find the energy from somewhere.
Keep resting…it works wonders.
Ta ta
Alison