@chita - I feel exactly the same. Can’t believe how I used to look & am somewhat kicking myself for not realising it at the time and embracing it. Do our bodies ever recover?!
I hear you on the lonely front. At 38 most of my friends are bringing up young families and busy busy. I am terribly isolated at times. X
It is a lonely experience, some close friends hardly text and it’s upset me. I know they just don’t know what to say but it hurts. It’s really made me realise who is important in my life. If they can’t make the effort now then are they really true friends? My sister is also quite distant and only texts, even tho we’re a close family.
We will get through this but I’ll always remember who supported me during a traumatic time of our lives.
I can relate @stafford22 - it feels highlighted during summer too as I know everyone is out ans and about and enjoying life. I think genuinely people just don’t have a clue what the treatment is like tbh. X
Do you live alone?
I live with my husband and two sons. I agree I honestly think that people haven’t got a clue what it feels like. The body image, emotions, chemo side effects, surgery. It’s all so much and it goes on for so long/ it’s not like a broken leg where it’s better in a couple of months x
I’ve also got a MacMillan buddy who phones once a week and she’s lovely x
Exactly that. Friends message me like it’s the end of the treatment… And I’m thinking I’m not even half way. I find it draining even trying to begin to explain myself. X
It’s so hard, this group is good for messaging but maybe a face to face group would be better in your area. I think people haven’t got a clue how hard it is. But why should we explain? If my friend was going thru this then I’d be googling stuff to educate myself so I could support ny friend. I’ve also worked out that some friends are “good Time friends” and only want friends who they can go out partying with! It does hurt x
That’s interesting @stafford22 - a colleague had told me that her sister had said exactly that when she was going through treatment. I know I’m not the best company at present so I guess i don’t blame some friends for not being around. Some send me Instagram bs which irritates me. One friend said to me “there’s no guide book for this Sophie”. I said “i know, but it’s not my job to write one either.”
I know what you mean with the Instagram stuff! I know that when the chemo is all done then everyone will be the first to post on social media how strong I am and how well I’ve done, but how do they really know if they haven’t bothered asking! There’s a few people are this that I won’t be investing with any of my energy.
We will get thru this….ill drag you along 
Yeah, you’re right - it’s just a bit tricky at present because I’m between London and Devon.
So glad to hear you’re feeling well after surgery :)) And hopefully the report will be back with positive news.
I’ve got my surgery on the 31st and getting thru my last cycle, feeling better that i can eat properly again altho taste is still a little off. My legs are still weak and i have to remind myself to not overdo things as tiredness comes in quickly. I’m nervous about surgery but it has to happen so just trying to take it in my stride. My lovely colleague said to me I’m a bada$$ for going thru months of chemo, that surgery will be fine in comparison. So am saying the same to all of us, our chemo has battered us, but we’re still fighting and we’re here for each other 
This week I braved going out without my hat, well for one day, felt realy weird and I didnt make eye contact with anyone, so next day, hat on. Saw clinical oncology and to my shock, she wants me to have 10 radio not 5, when I queried it, she said because they stopped chemo early and they want to do everything to prevent it coming back, she asked if that was ok … I said not realy but if its whats needed. I have ct planning next week, then should start 2wks later. Sat in garden yesterday with no hat on and neighbours creepy 16ish year old boy wearing a bikini… yep… looking at me for some time (their fence came down months ago, all they put up was a bloody trellis, horrid family), he said something to his female friend and they both looked at me, talk about obvious, mabie Im just feeling vunerable???.
Thanks! 100% agree about your colleagues comment 
tbh surgery was a walk in a park for me comparing to chemo…I really hope that that was the worst part and it’ll be easier from now on for all of us 
Phone call from oncoligist yesterday, she was surprised when i said id not had blood test for genetics yet, so had to go in today, sign consent form and bloods, at least that saves us the journey to Southampton, results should take aprox 6wks, I just hope it comes back negative, she said if positive then she needs to see me to discuss meds… dont like the sound of that
I’m the same as you, I haven’t had genetics test and I’ve got it on my list to ask my oncologist on Thursday x
Good luck with results. I had mine taken at Poole, sent to southampton and they were back in 3 weeks!!
So I got back on track today… After a five.week break due to peripheral neuropathy and a mental slump due to not knowing when treatment will end - I had my penultimate chemo session with no reduction in dose (3rd of 4 dose dense paclitaxel). Ok so far, legs are feeling a bit tired. Fingers crossed side effects don’t come back with a vengeance as I really don’t want my last session cancelled or postponed before onto 5 days of radiotherapy and tamoxifen.
I also braved a public head display last weekend. We had friends over in the garden and I was just too bloody hot for a wig or scarf! Between hot flushes and heatwaves I was a melted wreck 
.
Good luck and love to everyone as always x
Well done both @fubc and @cruising for going out bald 
First time I did it, I was so embarrassed, wore dark glasses and tried not to look at anyone at all. Now with some practice and this heat, I don’t care anymore, it’s so pleasant to go out as it is and not sweat inna wig. Nobody actually cares, I don’t see that many stares and if someone stares, well, f#ck them. I think cancer teaches not to care about this kind of stuff
Well done everyone, it’s a tough old slog and we’re getting there. I have18 days left of chemo then a 4 week break before starting radiotherapy. I’m feeling quite battered by chemo me but determined to get thru the last 3 rounds of packitaxel. I’m v tired now and for some reason pax number 9 has really knocked me. I’m in bed for most of the afternoons and my legs are weak x
Do you mind me asking what your results were