I haven’t been on the forums for ages, been trying to get on with life!
Six weeks ago I found out my husband is having an affair and he has now left me and my nine year old daughter.
I was re diagnosed two years ago and have mets in my spine and liver. I felt he never faced up toy second diagnosis and was worried he was having a breakdown over the last few months but it turns out he was with her.
I feel so completely betrayed by his behaviour and he has been so cruel to me I am struggling to understand how he could do this. We have been together for 13 years.
Are there any other ladies who have had experience of this? It would really help me to hear from you if you can share your experiences. Thank you.
That’s awful dickle, I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you have family or friends close by for support. I had a dear friend, with secondaries, who discovered her husband was having an affair after finding some emails discussing how life would be for the couple after my friend had died. She died a while ago now but I don’t know if she ever confronted her husband or whether she kept quiet. She was very ill at the time and they had a son in his early teens.
But I’ve read of marriage breakdowns here a few times. Do reach out for help for you and your daughter. Perhaps BCC have some information of where to get help for all the worries this will be causing including any financial concerns. Do give them a ring. Take Care both of you…XX
Dear Dickie
I am sorry to read your post and just wanted to say that our helpliners are on hand with emotional and practical support for you so please feel free to call on 0808 800 6000, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays
I’m sorry to hear you are having such a horrible time at the moment. Have you seen the blog newbeginnings-divinegoddess.blogspot.co.uk/ ? It’s written by a woman with mets whose husband left her (if my memory serves me correctly) when she received her secondaries diagnosis. That was about 4 or 5 years ago and she now leads a very active, happy life.
I know you must still be reeling from shock but perhaps the blog above might be a small ray of light.
Thank you ladies, it’s good to know there are some people out there!
I have my first hospital appointment on my own tomorrow test results so you all know how that feels! I am swinging from feeling empowered by going it alone and totally alone if that makes any sense!! I do have lots of people who would have come with me but its not the same is it? I think anyone else coming would be more stressful for me.
Fingers crossed that all is still stable, I need to live long enough for my daughter to be independent and never have to go an live with him and his morally questionable woman!!!
Hi Dickie, I’m not very good with navigating this site and sometimes post but can’t find it later. Just come across your post and I do feel for you. I was originally diagnosed 8 years ago and earlier this year was told I had secondaries. My husband has not officially left me but is living abroad but coming home every month for a few days to get prescriptions and see Dr himself. Says he can’t stand the cold weather, what a pathetic excuse for a man! I’ve had a really rough 8 years, lots of operations and when I was at my worst he left me but came back. Worst thing I did was try again with him. Everyone thinks he should be here with me as I start a new treatment but the truth is I now want him as far away as possible. I know the financial side of separation can be really hard but a man that doesn’t love u and want to care for you is worse than no man at all. Sorry if I sound bitter, I’m not, but I’m angry that he is upsetting my grown up children and all the people that do love and care for me with his actions. It does hurt I know and it’s hard to summon the strength to cope with all the emotion roller coasters you will be on. I have found the strength by being realistic and seeing him for what he really is. As far as I know there isn’t any one else but I wouldn’t care if there was. I think there are a lot of men that just can’t cope with what life throws at them and just seek the easiest form of escape. Say goodbye and good riddance and look after yourself as much as you can. I know my husband is a sad and pathetic individual who didn’t deserve me anyway. We have been married for 26 years and I know I should have left him years ago but always put the kids first. I hope you can move forward but I know it is a very scary place to be. My husband has never really been any support and doesn’t understand what an unpredictable disease this is. Be strong and take comfort from the fact that you are a far better person than he is or ever will be. Thinking about you and wishing you well xxx
Kindest regards
Beryl xx
