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Hi norberte
Just posting to say “hello” from another lesbian with BC, and to send you love & strength for your op. I had a lumpectomy over 13 years ago, rather than a mastectomy, but that – and having cancer generally – was so distressing for me and my partner. We talked openly about it all, with each other and anyone else who was interested – we found that this was more “empowering” for us both than trying to “put on a brave face”.
Do you think that sitting down with a third person might help you and your partner work through the issues you’re worrying about: how you (both) feel, how you look, fears & anxieties about the future, rest & recuperation, what you do (and don’t) tell others, going back to work, etc? Is there a lesbian counselling service anywhere near you? My partner & I had nothing & no one like that 13 years ago, so we had to muddle through, and have continued to do so through and beyond my secondaries dx nearly seven years ago.
I do hope that you get good support here on the BCC boards, and that you and your partner have an easy route through the minefield of BC issues that will be part of your " new normality".
Marilyn x
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Hi again
Interestingly (and unexpectedly!), my partner was welcomed as my next-of-kin by all the health people 13 years ago, even before we made it “legal” with our civil partnership four years ago, but I fear that others have had a different response. Now, she’s the one my onc team & GP speak to if they want to ensure I’m “following orders”! Glad to hear your partner is having as good an experience as poss, given the circumstances.
Please keep in touch (you can p.m. me if that feels better than posting on the open boards), and again, good luck with the op!
Marilyn x
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