Hey, so i didn’t get good news over Christmas. My cancer has come back. Same breast. Im 34 was 29 first time. So now i need a mastectomy. Im having to decide to go reconstruction or prosthetic. Ive had chat with my nurse, who shown me different pics of reconstruction. But i just dont know. Im worried I’ll make the wrong choice.
I’m slim build so the consultant wasnt sure if i can even have reconstruction. Got an appointment with plastic surgeons to see what they say. If they say no reconstruction then thats decided for me.
I worry about recovery time & if I’ll have issue with where the fat was taken. Like tight skin, moving ect.
Also what the ‘new’ breast will feel like.
Im starting to lean towards prosthetic but still not sure.
Was wondering what other people’s experience were, thoughts, advice. Anything really.
I know at the end of the day it is my decision. But just finding it hard to think it all through.
Hi
I felt I had to reply to you.
When I was diagnosed I had to make a decision the same time I was diagnosed.
I went for a mastectomy thinking I would be ok with a prosthesis.
I wasn’t, it really wasn’t for me.
Delayed reconstruction has caused a lot of issues for me. My reconstructed breast feels alien, my stomach is very tight. I had Diep.
I am 10 years on and feel I’ve struggled to move on because of these issues, tightness and feeling uncomfortable are there continuously.
Please do your research. By speaking to others I feel immediate reconstruction doesn’t come with as many complications.
A friend of mine went for immediate reconstruction with implants and just feels slight bruising.
There are so many options and it’s really important to make the right decision.
If I knew what I know now I would have chosen immediate reconstruction or at least skin sparing if I had had the choice, so I could decide later.
When I had a mastectomy the skin was so tight on my chest wall. The reconstructed breast now feels like something plonked on top.
Imagine a cushion and you sew a round soft ball on top, when you move it you can see where the cushion pulls ( the cushion is your chest wall) this is the best way I can explain it sorry.
I think it’s all about research and talking to people. We all experience different things.
Wishing you all the best with your decision.
Take care.
Dear mirkwood42_1, I am sorry to hear your news and that you are facing the prospect of more treatment. Macmillan have a very good booklet which explains the different types of reconstruction, the pros and cons, and the lengths of each op. It is worth a read. I had a full mastectomy in September without reconstruction. I now wear a ‘knitted knocker’ or a softie inside my bra. It is very comfortable and looks fine when I am dressed. I do not have a full prosthesis yet but have an appt for this next week. Speaking with the plastic surgeon will be helpful i am sure. Love Tulip x
Just wanted to jump in with my experience…
I wasn’t given the option of reconstruction which I found harder to deal with than my initial diagnosis.
I have always been very small up top and struggled with body image issues through most of my teens and twenties. The thought of having only one boob scared the hell out of me.
Fast forward 18 months and I can’t believe I let myself get so upset. I am so proud of my scar, I see it as my battle wounds. A battle I fought and won!
I have recently had a tattoo done, covering my whole mastectomy area and I love it!
I wear a prosthetic and although it can be a bit annoying as it sometimes doesn’t sit right I am far happier with myself than I ever thought I would be.
Good luck with your treatment. Xx
I’m 6 years on from total mastectomy without reconstruction and find the foam breast inserts with a small piece of silicone at the centre really comfortable and privided you get the right size will not look different from your ordinary breast when dressed. You will be given a breast form and recommendations for bras by a fitting specialist at your local treatment centre if that is decision you choose. However, you are quire a bit younger than me so may wish to chose reconstruction if offered. Get as much information as you can. Discuss with your breast care nurse. Then make your decision. Good Luck.
Hi, my message is decide later. I realise that this is the opposite to the message you received from @heathercora but that’s the trouble with this dilemma and everyone is different.
I decided straight away on reconstruction and was horrified at the thought of going flat. But in follow up appointments my surgeon started talking about very unconventional methods, the more I explored this the more that option horrified me. Time was of the essence, I was stressed and not in the right place to be making this kind of decision. I researched, spoke to others, spoke to my Macmillan nurse and the helpline and I decided to go flat because:
- It is likely to have far less complications, infections etc
- No further operations needed (recon often requires several follow ups)
- You have to experience going flat to know whether you can live with it
- I have heard (although some are very happy with it) that recon doesn’t feel or look normal anyway
- No foreign bodies inside your body
- Implants need replacing at some point
- If you can’t live with it you can have reconstruction later
As soon as I made the decision to go flat I knew it was right for me and I haven’t changed my mind. I wear a comfy ‘softie’ and the hospital gave me a silicone which I will use for swimming (I don’t find it as comfortable as the softie for every day use). I thought I would have to change my wardrobe and get rid of low neck clothes but there’s hardly anything that I can’t wear. I was surprised at how normal I look, nobody can tell and I am not sure anyone is bothered as I have been out without my prosthetic (at the start due to soreness) and nobody seemed to notice/care.
I just wanted to say that when I saw the scar and the space where my boob used to be I was fine, not at all horrified and not t all bothered. My main aim (other than trying to be cancer free!!) was to avoid any unnecessary medical interventions. I don’t find living without my boob is a problem at all.
I am 59 so I realise that at your age the perspective is different.
Good luck with whatever you decide xx
Hello @mirkwood42_1
I am very sorry to hear you are having to go through cancer treatment again and at such a young age too.
It is a big decision and you are doing right in getting all the information, this is so important and this forum comes in really useful, there are so many stories it seems that anything and everything can happen.
In my case I had both breasts removed. Being slight I was unable to have any other reconstruction other than implants, This suited me as I never considered being flat. Also I didn’t want to have a second part of my body healing at the same time as my chest.
I was given nipple sparing mastectomies and was fitted with expanders. This helps the body to recover and also helps to decide size of my boobs. As they were recovering the size was decreased and increased as needed by altering the amount of saline in them. About a year later I got my proper implants, smooth round to minimise the risk of a different type of cancer plus these would give me a better look aesthetically.
I am happy with my result.
Would recommend you scouring the forums for other stories as some say about further ops to make there normal breast similar to the reconstruct.
Remember to consider gym, swimwear and summer clothes.
Most importantly though you do what keeps you healthy and happy knowing what is important to you.
If you go without reconstruction is it possible to have both removed and be flat?
Hope this helps and I wish you well xx
I am older and fat but same issues. Guess you have to have a pretty perfect build to get nice boob work. I did not do reconstruction. Don’t care much for fakes. Even as fat as I am I just go without. I met a slim build lady at PT the other day and she did not wear anything either. She said she just goes natural too. I could not tell. She looked nice. I am more concerned about lymphedema, scar tissue, etc at this point. Good luck!
I did decide later to have reconstruction but found this was the wrong decision for me.
If I’d have been give enough time to research , my decision would have been different.
I had to make a decision at the time I was diagnosed and unfortunately for me my decision was the wrong one,
I do struggle on my own day to day with feeling uncomfortable. I don’t feel I want to keep mentioning my issues to friends and family around me.
I’m just saying, please do your research.I feel very uncomfortable having reconstruction after mastectomy and struggle later in the day.
My opinion.
We all have different experiences and that’s what is good about talking.
We can hopefully come to the right choice after reading everyones experience what’s right for us.
Take care 
Wishing everyone good health and happiness in 2024.
I like to hear different peoples point of view as this is very important for everyone 
Hi Everyone, thank you so much for sharing your stories and advice. I really appreciate it. It has helped me. I will go do research & have found the article on this website about mastectomys. All your comments have also made me feel not alone. There are lots of poeple that have gone through this.
Sending love to all. Xx 
Hi, thought i would just do an update. So after looking into the different types. Also seeing the plastic surgeon which i found a very hard appointment. Didnt enjoy all the podding and pocking but guess they have to. Also all that was involved in a reconstruction was too much for me.
So i decided to have a single mastectomy.
I’m now recovering from the surgery, I’m happy with my decision. As I’m recovering quicker and are more up and about.
Thanks again for everyone’s thoughts and stories.
Dear mirkwood42_1,
Well done you for getting through your surgery. I wish you a speedy and uneventful recovery. Further to my last post I now have my nhs prosthesis and am very happy with it. In the right style of bra(very important) it looks and feels great. Love Tulip x
Hi tulip29, I’m glad your appointment went well and you are happy with your prosthesis. I’m guessing you found a good bra before the appointment?
Or do you need the prosthesis before the bra?
I feel like this is a chicken and an egg question 
Just wondering which way round you did it.
Hi there, before my op i only purchased one bra - style Hilary front fastening from Nicola Jane. At my prosthesis appt I took this bra plus a few others that I already owned. These were mostly underwired plunge bras and one sloggi bralette. I also wore a tight fitting top to compare the appearance of each under clothing. The prosthesis looked great in the nicola jane bra which was not underwired and had a full cup. The prosthesis was a bit too heavy for the bralette. The prosthesis did work in the plunge bras but there was less coverage so half of the the prosthesis could be seen. I tried a few different sized prostheses to find the right size - one that would fill the bra cup in the same way as my other breast and also stuck out, if that is the right word, the same distance as my existing breast. The hospital fitter was lovely and made the whole experience rather enjoyable. There was a long mirror in the room so i could get a good view of how i looked from different angles wearing just the bra and also how things looked under clothing. Having learned that a full cup bra can effectively hold the whole prosthesis and practically hide it completely I decided to purchase a full cup back fastening bra. I should add that, before my op, i booked a bra fitting appt with nicola jane at the local Maggies centre. This was very worthwhile and something I would highly recommend. This can just as easily be done after the op as before once any swelling or soreness has abated. M&S also have trained mastectomy bra fitters. I hope this will be a help. Love Tulip xxx
Thanks, yes that has helped. Xx
Hi, so been a few weeks After seeing 2 fitters, ive finally got sorted.
My first appointment, didn’t go well. The lady spoke so fast and wasnt happy with any of the bras i had. She seemed very adamant that i wear a ‘standard bra’ ( i like sports bras and front zips).
She give me a silicone breast which i didnt want. When i asked her what else there was she said there was only this totally silicone one that felt weird to me. So i left with a prosthesis i didnt want and was very upset for days.
Rang my breast care nurse and was told they did do other types. Re booked with another lady and it couldn’t have been different.
She was very nice and when i explain i didn’t like the feel of the silicone. She pulled out a box of more active prosthesis. The annoying thing was they were right in the room so the other fitter could have given them to me.
Anyway i got a foam weighted one and lighter memory foam one to try out.
I got 2 new sports bras because thats what i like to wear and have been trying them out.
Ive spent a week trying the weighted and I’m now trying the lighter one. I’m leaning towards the lighter one at the moment.
Ive not had any problems with them moving about at the moment.
Just needed a bit of moan and wanted share my story . Also make people be aware there are different types of prosthesis out there.