I am new to this board. My mother (80yrs old) is having a total mastectomy with axillary clearance tomorrow. She has invasive ductal carcinoma stage 3 with positive lymph nodes. She has told her surgeon that she doesn’t want chemo because of the side effects, and they have said ok to this. What worries me is that the chemo is very important to kill any cancer cells that have migrated else where in the body, but obviously I am not as well read on this, as I know some of you will be. They haven’t even explained to her the reason chemo is neccessary. They have said the tumor is not hormone sensitive, so no Tamoxifen. I just worry that if she just has the operation, the chances of recurrence are really high.
If I’ve got this all wrong, please tell me. I would value your thoughts on this. I should mention that at 80-yrs of age, she isn’t in the best of health, which is part of the equasion.
many thanks in advance Margo (Manchester area)
Hi
I really wouldn’t put my mum thro’ chemo at 80. My dad was dx with bladder cancer when he was 80. They put him on chemo (a reduced dose) but he really wasn’t well.
I know it’s hard to accept but at 80 they really can’t cope with chemo. It’s kinder to accept the inevitable. I really wish we had with my dad.
He battled to the end and I really wish that he’d just gone peacefully.
I’ve had chemo and wouldn’t wish it on someone elderly. It was hard enough for me in my 50’s.
xx
Hi Margo and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the shared experiences and peer support here you may find it helpful to call our helpline where you can talk your concerns and queries through with one of our specialist nurses, the lines are open 9-5 during the week and 9-2 on Saturdays on 0808 800 6000
Take care
Lucy
Hi Margo
When I went in for my lumpectomy, I met a lady who was 80 and in for a mastectomy, her husband was terrified for her. We both went for a follow up to the oncologist on the same day, she looked great and was beaming as she was having no radiotherapy and no chemo and said she would see me in a year’s time! The reason I say that is because chemo doesnt necessarily follow on from the op, Im sure the oncologist will advise when the results are back from the surgery.
May be they will suggest radiotherapy. Ive just finished that and there were many elderly ladies there receiving treatment.
Do you think your Mum would let you go and see the oncologist with her for her follow up appointment? Its not always easy to remember to ask all the things you want to know and you could help out with that.
Good luck to her for tomorrow.
Carol x