@alannah172 @daffodil_dream @wibbles @foxgem @neonnomad and everyone else 
Such good sharing all round. Really helps get our heads round this. Good and scary is really appreciated. This is not easy, but we need to trust in the care of the Oncology staff. They are having to navigate what works and what doesnt. It takes time. Its not a breeze in the park for them either. They learn with us. Thats normal.
Some ladies are ok with the injections, but some are not. Some are mid way. I was ok with mine, but I was cautious of side effects. These still may bite me, so I have pain killers to the ready. I will never be complaisant going through this.
My take from all of the comments is each journey is different, but similar.
I know a lady who had been fine for 7 cycles of 3 week intervals, then the last one floored her. So these next few months are for us to be vigilant, embrace the good days, but to work on the fear, work on bad days.
To me, some of that fear is very understandable, emotional, fight flight responses. We are hard wired to run from danger. Its normal and it keeps us safe. So we have to navigate fear during chemo. Its tough treatment. None of us want it. We need it. We want to run, but we have to stay. Thats tough.
Some of that anxiety is medication induced. So we need to work closely with Nurses and Specialists. I cant take sleeping tablets ever. They do the opposite to me. They make me anxious, frightened, alert and beyond yeuk. So I refuse to take them. So Ive had to navigate other ways to sleep. Others respond well to them. Its individual. We go with what works for us. But get valuable ideas from others.
Some of that is worrying we may have the short straw. Thats tough. Tough hearing people being OK. But watch this space. I may have a seriously bad day. I have 8 yrs of treatment. It WILL happen along the road.
My take is to take each day as it comes. Rest if I get too anxious. Eat sensibly even when I have no appetite. Find out what meds make me worse and what meds are better. Or what meds I can live without. I cant live without chemo, but the Team around us can use other drugs, or give us more time to recover, or give the doses slower.
On Friday they said I have a 2 weekly cycle but that could change to 3 weekly. Nothing is set in stone. Not the time frame, not the types of drugs. We are on a journey that is constantly changing direction.
Im working on going with the flow as much as I can. 
I Take anti sickness before a meal. If I crave a crumpet, I will eat it. It may be my body needs more carbs.
Tonight I took anti sickness then I had: chicken stew (batch cooked and frozen-so no prepping just microwaved) . It had water chestnuts, peppers, baby corn, onions, peas, from a stir fry frozen pack. And well washed broccoli from my friends garden. No prepping. Just microwave.
Id taken @foxgem advice not to buy in fresh veg. The frozen are quick and if I dont feel like eating at all, then im not wasting food.
@alannah172 re going home . I was woozy. I definitely couldnt drive and I definitely needed rest when I got home. I was glad my friend came with me in the taxi.
He stayed over, but didnt actually need to, as I was fine. He cant stay over lots as he has health needs and is better in his own digs. But he rings to check i am OK. Other friends do the same.
It can be exhausting having to entertain people. So I am fine in my own home. If i get anxious I ring 24/7 Helplines, Breast Cancer Nurses, MacMillan Nurses, Oncology. There is always someone out there. We are not alone. Ring when you need to. Ring when you THINK you Dont. 
This Forum is lovely and a joy to engage with all you lovely strong ladies. It is fine to have bad as well as good days. 
I slept ok my first night, But I always wake around 4am for a wee.. annoying but I am drinking loads of fluids. Not tea or coffee, from now on, as they DO make me go more often. Sad loss, as I love coffee in the mornings. But i went to my local Chinese store weeks ago. They had a great selection of dried herbal teas in individual pyramid bags. They are great cold or hot. So if I brew one and forget about it, it is still lovely.
I am aware I may get headaches, anxiety due to no caffeine. I am prepared. Its happened before 
. So I will drink more to flush out the headache. After a couple of weeks the caffeine anxiety went last time. Phew.
But have the last 3 days been manageable? For ME, yes. Its a weird feeling at times. A whole body just āoddā feeling but it not debilitating.
But on Wednesday Im being fitted with a 24 hr Blood Pressure Test after I had a Heart Scan. Another item attached to my body 
oh joys. Another anxiety to master. 
. But Hey, they are looking after me. They are there 24/7. 
My white bloods/neutrophils are low. Hence the injections. Oncology are missing nothing.
My gums are prone to bleeding. I get mouth ulcers. So I bought a Waterpik a few months ago. Ā£30 from Argos. I can use it in the shower. Some Waterpiks you cant. But Ive been rubbish using it. Till now
Within a week my bleeding gums have stopped bleeding. I wash teeth, then waterpikā¦takes practiseā¦then corsodyl mouthwash after meals. To date its a good routine. I was told by Oncology Nurse NOT to floss as it aggravated gums during chemo. She was suggesting kinder, thinner made picks. But the waterpik is even better. But does take a bit of practise to get it right. The shower friendly is better to practise with,as muddled use doesnt mean lots of water jetted around the bathroom. Now I can use it over the sink no problemā
Well done to all of us and to everyone in the waiting line. We can do this . With constant changing practise.
How did that happen ?? 
But doable. Ive gained some lovely baby doll red cheeks 
. Seems this is common. But ive managed food ok. Eaten small. Fruit smoothy for breakfast, (apple, plum, mango, tiny amount of beetroot juice and full fat milk).
. So my friend is having that instead.
xx
Such relief.
xxx
