Morning, I’m new to forum and had a lumpectomy with node removal 11th Jan. The cancer was picked up on routine mammogram and was small so all looks positive. The physical effects of op aren’t too bad but, forgive me all of you who are going through much worse, I feel so sorry for myself some of the time. I had cervical cancer, leading to hysterectomy, nearly 30 years ago and am not normally prone to self indulgence. Has anyone else felt this way or am I being ultra self centered lol? Do I just need someone to tell me to ‘get a grip’?
Morning @Suehutz - first of all a big welcome to this forum, it’s great that you have reached out to discuss with others and seek support. This is a lovely safe place to share thoughts, where everyone else just “gets it” without judgment.
The simple answer to your question is - absolutely no, you are not being self centred and do not need to be told to “get a grip”. Being given a diagnosis of BC was for me like being hit by a truck that came out of nowhere, it’s a shock and takes time to process. There are many different diagnoses, with different treatment plans, but each one is a shock for that person. So please don’t feel you need to apologise in any way, but it’s very thoughtful of you to be mindful and think of others.
I’m going to share a link to an article you may find interesting (credit to @Jaybro for the link) workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
I have seen others describe the mental side of recovery as being like grief, and I think that sums it up well. I had some counselling after my treatment because I found I really couldn’t process the mental side and that did help me, so you might want to access some sort of counselling or speak to someone, even a few sessions might help. Most importantly allow yourself time and don’t beat yourself up if you feel low, go with it and acknowledge it.
In the meantime I would recommend lots of treats and self kindness, perhaps walking, seeing/chatting to friends, anything that helps. And of course please keep chatting on here if that helps, sometimes it can be easier to chat anonymously to others in the same boat.
Sending hugs and best wishes, Evie xx
Hi Sue
You definitely do NOT need to be told to “get a grip”. Do what you feel is right for you.
After a BC diagnosis we tend to get swept up in the speed of the treatment and all the physicalities of it without the time to actually process it in our minds. My diagnosis was last April, I put a brave face on through surgery and treatments but now, rather than feeling relieved, I’m very moody, teary, and want to shut myself away, not good I know.
My body has dealt with what’s happened, my mind hasn’t.
I’ve been accepted for counselling, just waiting for the dates now. We are all different in how we deal with what we’ve been through, there is no right or wrong way,
Best wishes x