Message of hope...............there is life after bc

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Hi All

I dont write here very often now, altho I still come on for a look.

I just wanted to write, especially for those just beginning their journey, that there is life after bc.

I was dx a year ago, invasive, grade 3, ductal ca - had chemo, mastectomy and rads. It has been a hard slog of a year, but I now feel I have got thro and am smiling again. I have a new zest for life now, hugely due to a wonderful psychologist who I have been seeing for several months - not only about the bc but other issues in my life. I have learned a new way of thinking and appreciating - and am just loving life now.

Dont get me wrong - my treatment is not finished - will have other breast removed preventatively beginning of next year and have bilateral recon at same time, and am still awaiting gene test, but I know I can now handle whatever life throws at me.

I have not forgotten the journey I have been on, and how endless that journey seems at the beginning, but I just wanted to give a bit of hope to you ladies out there who think this road will never end - it will. If you need to seek help to get you thro this journey, then go get it - do whatever it takes - but keep fighting and pushing yourselves. Take up new hobbies - I have taken up hillwalking - which is something I have been meaning to do for years - but at last I have started - and oh how liberating it feels.

I intend to try new things in life and just grab it by both hands and enjoy it.

I will stop rambling on - all I want to say is YOU WILL GET THERE - honest you will. When I think back to where I was a year ago last Sunday, newly dx, and where I am now - I would have never believed it.

Stay strong girls, keep fighting, and live your lives

Love and hugs to you all
F
xxx

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Hi Sparkler My journey with BC started last Oct Grade two invasive, one lymph node involved . Had WLE and SNB , chemo and finish five weeks of rads tomorrow, (started on Tamoxefin) Have been told prognosis is very good , then I read a recent thread on secondaries. WAS SO glad to have found your thread, because I was feeling really scared and panicky. Have a beautiful six month old grandchild , I so want to see her for a few more years to come and when I think I might not that really distresses me … Why can’t i be more positive!!! Tou are a true source of inspiration THANKS
Love Bobbiex

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Hi Sparkler
I remember you and I were diagnosed and started our treatment around the same time. We have both come a long way and got there in one piece in our own way. I cannot believe how good things are now when I think back to this time last year which was the worst time of my whole life by far. I am still having herceptin which will finish in November and at some point reconstruction although probably still not for a while.
Good luck with the rest of your treatment and it’s really good to hear from you and that you are doing so well.
Best wishes
Ruby xxx

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Bobbie

Thank you - just wanted to write and give people hope - I have been in that dark place, thinking is this my future - but it is not!! I too have read secondary threads and got scared - but we must not let this take over our lives. Even more now - life if for living and I for one am grabbing it - and going to try new things I would never have done before.

You enjoy your beautiful grandchild - theres no reason to think you will not see him/her grow up. You will become more positive - and thats coming from someone that used to be Miss negative - believe me - if I can change then anyone can.

You take good care
Lots of Love
F
xxx

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Hi Ruby

Good to hear from you. It has certainly been some journey hasnt it? Sometimes it all feels so surreal what we have been thro - but been thro it we have - but how good does it feel to come out the other side. It wont be long now till your herceptin is finished.

Really good to hear from you.
Onwards and upwards eh?

Take good care
F
xxx

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Hi Molly

Thanks for the reply. I too am a single mum, with not a lot of family support - the only difference is my daughter is now 15. It will be hard for you but your baby will help get your through this. Hadrians wall sounds good. If we dont get up off our asses and help ourselves then no-one else is going to. I have organised a 3 peaks hill climb for this Sunday - I am doing it for bc research - and at the last count - there is 17 other people doing it with me - I couldnt have contemplated that this time last year but this year I will be up there first!!

I wish you all the very best for the rest of your treatment - you can and will do it.
If theres anything I can do let me know

Take good care
F
xxx

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I’d like to second what Fi is saying!
I too have had an awful 8 months since being dx (Nov 07) with grade 2 multi-focal BC and mastectomy (Dec 07). I felt as if I had driven into a brick wall at 500MPH. My world fell apart and all I could think of was that I wouldn’t see my children graduate from university. I hated my body and wanted to smack anyone who told me to remain positive!
Well things can change! I very proudly watched my son graduate from Cambridge in June (and wept buckets!) and witnessed my daughter have the time of her life during her 1st year at Leicester Uni.
13 days ago I underwent breast reconstruction (DIEP flap) and am now sporting a very pert pair of boobs and a very flat tummy (albeit very scarred and bruised at present).
This operation has made me feel like a woman again. I can’t stop looking at my new body-OK it’s not perfect but then I am 48! But if anyone out there is thinking of having a reconstruction then I would say don’t even hesitate. I have shown my new boobs to everyone who has come to visit me!! (The right one was reconstructed and the left one lifted!)
So yes there is hope. I don’t want in any way to appear as if I am undermining those who have to live with secondaries or who have a much worse prognosis than me, but we have to grab life and live it to the full and I for one am going to do just that.
I have tears pouring down my face as I write this-but only because I never would have believed 8 months ago that I could feel so happy and positive again.
Good luck to all of you
Love Gill xx

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Hi girls threads like this are good as I remember when i was diagnosed over three years ago now I never thought I would be around three years down the line. I was dx at age thirty one, when my son had not long turned one. Cant believe he is starting school next month, a day i never thought i would see those early days of diagnosis. After the year of treatment for me personally it took another year for me to get back to some kind of resemblence of who i was, it was certainly a long haul, one which sometimes i cannot believe i went through, but i did. Each day is a blessing now & my outlook has changed on everything.

I am acutely aware that things could change at any point also diagnosed grade three, lymph involvement but for each day i am well and healthy its a bonus and long may it continue.

Love max

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Threads like this should be “sticky-ed” - we all need good news now and then.

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Thanks ladies for sharing you stories, it’s always good to read such positive posts.
Very best wishes to you all
Caz x

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Hi Sparkler Thanks for your encouragement . Finished rads today . Felt relieved but also mixed feelings , it was my b,day today so had loads of visitors and phone calls to distract me . I am gonna try and lie in tomorrow and sod everything then when boob is easier gonna get my house a bit tidier. Hope in a months time I can get on with things I did before BC…
Keep up the good work!!
Love Bobbiex

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Thanks to you all for the posts

Bobbie - dont be disappointed if it takes longer than a month - but maybe thats all it will take you. I have been so busy hill climbing, working and enjoying the sun etc that my house is not tidy - lol - not like me at all - so its foggy today so thats my plan when I get off comp. Take care of that skin - how did it hold up?

Love
F
xxx

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One thing this breast cancer palaver has shown me is not to look too far ahead. Not because I think I am going to die, far from it, but it just does your head in thinking of the “future”. I have made some big changes to my life since diagnosis based purely on the premise that I am going to try to enjoy the present far more than I ever did. it seemed everything I did in the past was done for the good of the future, not the present. I am far more appreciative of the small things in life that I overlooked before as I have no idea what lies ahead and to be honest dont really care!!

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Hi Cathy

Very interesting comment about not worrying about the future. Having have a lot of sessions with a fantastic psychologist, I want to reiterate and support what you have said. Altho my sessions with psychologist have come to an end, she is going to be running an 8 week course which I am going to attend called mindful meditation - and the basis of this is going to be to learn different techniques to keep bringing the mind back to the present - instead of the past or the future. After my past and of course not knowing what the future holds, this so makes a lot of sense , but I suppose something that is not easy to do. What I have learned through her, is going to be a lifelong commitment to keep it going, but there has been such a change in where I am mentally, that it is so worth doing.

So ladies out there - I believe it is worth trying to live in the present and enjoy every single second rather than worrying about what has gone and what might be in the future.

Take care all
F
xxx

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Hi Sparkler , Skin quite blistered on lymph node scar, nipple very swollen and sore. Whole boob glowing Red but BC Nurse said not that bad after five weeks rads (although as she said it’s painful for you) You are right about time , I was hoping to have a bit more energy today but think it might take a while yet.
Cathy … I have been seeing a counsellor at hospital and it has helped a lot. My problems before cancer are so entrenched I need constant reasurance all the time , which is an impossibility, obviously BC has compounded them. BUT!!! It has also taught me to put things in perspective a bit more. Having reiki weekly , I was very sceptical about it (friend who practices it offered me sessions) think that,s helping as well. All I want now is to have a few more years with my grandaughter. Love to you both and thanks for thinking of you me. Keep in touch from one survivor to two others!!

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Corsa

Sounds like your skin has held up pretty damned well - I also had 5 weeks rads and quite a large area of skin blistered - was like a really bad burn - was back to work straight after so wearing bras and clothes did not help - hope you get the chance just to ‘bear all’ as that was the thing that helped most for me.

Sending lots of healing thoughts
Love
F
xxx

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Hey Ms Molly oh yeah there will be bucket loads of tears on his first day of school !!! i am already filling up when he is trying his uniform on just now , or buying his school bag etc , and also he is still so young just four and a half !!! a baby still !!, ( well perhaps just in my eyes) and to think on that awful day of diagnosis over three yrs ago, I remember thinking as the consultant was speaking i will not see my baby on his first day of school, such a vivid memory of that day, so i think there will be a celebration of sorts that night in our household. None of us knows what our future holds but appreciate the the small things as well as the big things and to me my wee boy starting school, i feel like putting the flags out i am soo excited !!!

… but one thing i would recommend for some of the other girls, ok perhaps not for everyone but I took all help going. Whether it was phoning breast cancer care where i sometimes would speak to the nurse or i had one to one, where i spoke to someone similar age, similar diagnosis etc, who would phone me once a week who was a godsend at the time as i could not believe any other young person had experienced this !!! and also weekly sessions with a counsellor until I found where i wanted to be again. As i said earlier a year of treatment and then a year of finding me again but with support ! Was lucky that I attended a local group/ one to one session which at the time I often wondered what was the point but looking back it all made sense and so glad i done it.

Max x

We are not alone in this, there are lots of people who can support/help us, its just about us taking the steps to find out what will help us as individuals.

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HI All

Thanks for the encouragment I am just about to have FEC No 3 of 6 but I must say the time is flying by. I should be finished by Christmas all being well. I can understand not looking too far in the future because of what we have had we don’t really know what it holds, but when you think about it does anyone? We are no different than anyone else really maybe because of what we have had we are just more aware. We have just got to get the most out of our lives that we can and enjoy every bit that is what I aim to do.

I can’t wait for the day when I can post on here that I have finished my rads I am going on to tablets after for five years but all is good.

Good luck everyone

Debsx

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Hi everyone and especially Fiona,

Fiona, you and I were also dx at the same time and followed chemo, surgery and rads. So good to hear from you and to know that you are doing well. Well done for doing the 3 peaks fundraiser - good luck for Sunday.

I remember by lovely BCN saying to me - give us a year of your life and we will sort this for you. I thought - omg A YEAR??? But it has gone so quickly and I do honestly feel physically back where I was a year ago (apart from the two implants!!). I sometimes struggle also with the planning ahead thing…but on the whole feeling OK and trying to get on with my life and enjoying my children. I am doing lots of work for Keeping Abreast, a local recon support group which I enjoy and is very popular and well received.

I just wanted to say how nice to see a positive thread and it inspired me to post - as mainly I am posting on less cheerful threads unfortunately.

To all those just beginning - I thought this time last year my life was over and things would never be the same again - I was wrong. Things are different but they are OK. I had triple negative 5cm invasive grade 3 and I thought my number was definitely up. I’m not going to spout on about how it has made me a better person - cos I’m not sure that’s true - but it has changed me…for the better? Dunno we’ll see!!!

Lots of love to all of you, and to Fiona all my very best wishes.

Love
Ali
xxx