Is there anyone who struggled with feelings of midlife crisis after treatment? And if so, how did you help yourself?
Hi @Guest user
Yes I think I can relate - you’re suddenly aware of time passing etc. I’m not sure I’m dealing with mine very well … the thing I missed most during Lockdown ( extended due to isolating due to treatment etc.) was live music . I work part time and don’t have carer committments now so I’ve planned a Summer of live music and I hope that will get it out of my system. It’s been expensive though.
One thing that does help me is being a wild swimmer . It makes me feel very alive and in touch with the natural world without being too extreme. I also do a regular Yoga class which I find quite grounding and very beneficial all round .
This may or may not help !
Joanne x
Good morning,
Not sure if I’ve quite understood your question but I’ll do my best. Also, you don’t say how old you are so I’m guessing you’re young - mid 40s?
I experienced feelings of panic and anxiety- felt I had lost control of my life and that for some time (treatment time), the cancer dominated and monopolised my time!
However, I did seek counselling and was able to change my thought process. I began to identify a pattern in my side effects and loosely planned around them. I made a list of things I wanted to do (from simple days out to trips away) and a list of people important to me. I endeavoured to plan something nice to look forward to, during my more ‘well’ periods.
My mum, who went through her 3rd BC in 2018 with my first and passed in 2020, was a huge tower of strength and wisdom. She always said - ‘time waits for nobody and everything passes, try not to let this diagnosis define you. Hold onto what’s still important and seize the moment. Live in the moment’.
This is something I still hold onto today. This is my second TNBC diagnosis and during my difficult days, when the side effects are so bad that I feel as weak as a kitten and emotionally vulnerable, I remind myself of mum’s wise words and hope that she looking over me. I know in a few days I will begin to feel better and stronger. That I will be able to do something nice and that I’m another step closer to the end of treatment.
Wishing you the strength and peace of mind to get through this.
Tess xx
Dear OptimismLC2023
I feel sure there are so many of us out there, Who lost their comfort blanket after all the treatment, test and appointments we have been through I know I felt this way myself, I think your feelings are only natural,
Maybe, you could consider the moving forward course, I found this extremely helpful, being with other who are in the same boat it’s not all doom and gloom there are times when people did get a bit upset but on the whole we had good fun. Also if there is a Maggie is near you which is another one which is helpful.
Wishing you well going forward, keep busy, a cup of tea with that special friend who understand can be a big help.
biggest hugs Tili ???
Hi. Yea, I am 42, I was 36 the first time. Thanks for your reply.
Hi, thank you, I did do the moving forward course, unfortunately I didn’t find it helpful, people I found tend to compare and you always hear something you don’t want to when everyone is so different! Thank you for your reply. ?
Hi again
I didn’t put it in my previous reply but a few years before my diagnosis I started attending a mindfulness practice every week . At the time I thought I was feeling a bit down but actually realised I was carrying a lot of anger around and doing the practice made me more self - aware and I was able to ditch some of it and to notice when I was starting to get stressed and take a step back . Unfortunately I was diagnosed during Lockdown and the class wasn’t running and I didn’t get the same benefit doing it on Zoom but Headspace helped a bit.
Mindfulness can also be very uplifting and freeing .
I did the Moving Forwards Course and got a lot out of it but I think I understand your point about the comparing . As regards the cancer it did bring it home to me that I’d had a relatively easy ride of it compared to some but I wasn’t made to feel as though my journey was unimportant .My personal circumstances at the time were very difficult and that made everything harder.
Maybe the Someone Like Me service might be helpful ?
With best wishes
Joanne x
It’s wonderful to hear how mindfulness has helped you manage stress and anger. It’s unfortunate that lockdown disrupted your routine, but it’s great that Headspace provided some relief. Your journey, no matter how it compares to others, is important and valid. It’s impressive how you’ve navigated through your personal challenges. Keep going, you’re doing great!