Mind is racing

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1

Hi,

I am 29 years old, and have been experiencing pain (i would describe it as sore and tender) in my right breast over the last week or so. Basically it is the area to the top right of my nipple. I have definately got some toughness there, but not really what i would call a ‘lump’. When I say this i mean, it is an area about 1 inch across in diameter (perhaps even larger) and not a small cm or so pea’ shaped ‘lump’.

I went to the GP about 4 days ago, and he said i needed to go to the Breast clinic for screening because i ‘wasn’t imagining it’, which was a shock because i expected him to say ‘oh its probably a gland / cyst and will go of its own accord’.

Naturally I am now worrying about this non stop. They have fast tracked me to the clinic, so I have an appointment next week, but I am meant to be flying abroad in 12 days for a two month holiday, which is long planned, and so having this at the last minute and not knowing if I will still be able to go or not is adding to my fears. I think they have probably fast tracked me because of my trip as opposed to the fact that they are overly concerned, but of course I do wonder. I assume that is only natural.

I have got my letter today from the clinic, and it says that most results I will get on the day, but if I have a biopsy then I will need to return the following week for the results (when I am meant to be in New York). But I have no idea if they always do a biopsy? Or if they can tell most things from the ultrasound (I presume they will not do a mammogram because of my age)?

As I am sure you can understand my mind is racing. I have been told (by a friend and my partner) not to look on the internet, in case i scare myself, but its a tough call between wanting to be prepared for next week, and not wanting to become paranoid.

The period of time before my exciting dream holiday to visit my lovely man in America, is now full of anxiety, partly because of not knowing what it is, and not knowing if I will have to cancel the trip, and if so when I might be able to see the one person i need a hug from the most.

I know no one here can give me the answers, and I just have to wait, but needed to offload! Apologies for going on so long!! x

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Hi Moose250

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care chat forums, I am sure you will get lots of support from the many informed users of this site who have a wealth of experience between them.

If you need to talk to someone in confidence then the BCC helpline is there for you, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people with personal experience of breast care issues. Calls to the helpline are free, 0808 800 6000, lines open Mon to Fri 9am - 5pm and Sat 9am - 2pm. BCC also have numerous publications that you can either download or order free of charge, for the moment I have just put the link to one of our publications, Referral to a Breast Clinic which I hope will help you before you go to the hospital.

breastcancercare.org.uk/content.php?page_id=631

I hope this helps, kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator

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Thank you Jo,

I will possibly call on Saturday - I think this weekend will be the hardest time, - nobody nearby really, and so nothing to distract me from my thoughts. For the first time in my life i wish i could work all weekend!

x

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Hi Moose,
sorry to hear you are in such a state - but you have come to the right place.
Firstly, to put your mind at rest you have not been fast tracked because of your holiday or what your GP has felt - Government guidelines are laid down to ensure anyone under 40 with a lump etc has to be seen very quickly so a quick appointment is to be expected.
Secondly, even if you do need a biopsy this won’t stop you taking your holiday - I had things booked like you and asked my Consultant if I should cancel and he said no not at all - a few months wont make any difference (and I had the most agressive type of Breast Cancer) so you will be able to have your holiday.
However, going away not knowing your results may cause you great anxiety so you need to decide whether or not to arrange to phone for the results or wait until you return? (not sure if they are allowed to tell you over the phone though).
If I were you, I would go on holiday, enjoy it and get plenty of hugs from your man then deal with things when you get back.
It may be that after your first appoinment your are given the all clear so try not to worry too much (hard I know) until you know a bit more.
Lets us know how you get on -and dont apologise we are all here to support you!
Take care
Clarabelle xx

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Clarabelle,

Thank you so much for your post, and so sorry to hear about your aggressive form, - but i truly hope the ‘had’ means you are through it all now?

It is reassuring to hear that two months isn’t really too long, it is so hard to know what is and what isn’t and of course I have so many questions that need to be answered specific to my issue (whatever that may be) when I am at my appointment, but being me and hugely impatient (and prone to high anxiety), i want answers to it all now. I do know that won’t happen, so i do just have to wait, but am feeling very ditzy in the meantime cause i am getting so distracted inside my own thoughts. Stupid paranoia.

The receptionist at the GP’s said ‘at the end of the day it has to be your decision whether you get on a flight, its your body’ but not knowing enough about any of this it is so hard to make that decision. But I suppose I will find out on Tuesday, i have to just remind myself for now that I may not even have to decide at all.

I will let you know what happens, and thank you for your support.

xx

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Hiya
Sorry you are in this situation - I live in a very small part of the country and they do a one stop shop where you get ultrasound, mamo and biopsy on same day and results on same day. Really hope you get on your hols and it could be nothing to worry about especially with it being sore which could be sign of cyst - got everything crossed for you

xx

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Hello Moose,

I got my biopsy results over the phone because that is what they do at that particular clinic. So there is no reason why they can’t do that if you choose to phone them while you are away. I agree it is hard to make a decision without knowing the facts, but to add in my bit - I too was told that a couple of months delay would make no difference (although in the end I didn’t need to take that time).

Eliza xx

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Hi Moose,
I was diagnosed in October 06, had a mastectomy and 7 months of chemo and have just had a new breast reconstructed and feel wonderful!
Breast Cancer is not a death sentence as you will see from reading the hundreds of posts on this site so please dont despair.
It is your body and only you can decide what is right for you but should it turn out to be BC then you will have months of treatment to face so is it not best to take your well deserved holiday before you get into all of that? Another thing to consider is whether you would be covered on your travel insurance if you do cancel - incredible to think that you may not be covered in such circumstances but having BC does not stop you flying so a claim may not hold up. I was told when I was pregnant not to take my skiing holiday and not to fly and had a report from my GP to back up his advice but the insurance company did not pay me a penny as flying when pregnant is not dangerous and I lost £2000 so please look into it before cancelling.
Obviously all this is only relevent if you have BC and I have every thing crossed for you for next week and hope you get good news.
I am off to Austria tomorrow for Christmas but hope to log on and check on your progress so dont think I have abandoned you if I go quiet for a few days.
Take it easy, post when you know more but most importantly, have a lovely Christmas.
Speak soon,
Clarabelle xx

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Hello all, and thank you for your messages :-),

I am managing so far with the weekend, am in more pain than I have been (which I find strangely reassuring). Forced myself to go out for a drink after work last night which helped fill my evening. But as I don’t drink there was only so long I could bear to see everyone around me getting slowly more and more horizontal!

Have arranged for one of my mums friends to come with me on Tuesday (I call her my second mum), sadly my mum is away on holiday at the moment, and i don’t want her to be worrying about me. But feel reassured that I won’t be alone, and she has been through treatment etc herself, and so has been a big support. I am going to pop round to hers later on today for coffee, and she has phoned me everyday to check on me.

I hope you have a fantastic time in Austria Clarabelle, what a wonderful place to spend Christmas, and I will be sure to post when I have some more information. I am so glad to hear that your recon has gone well and you are feeling great. Hope you have a fantastic holiday.

Speak very soon xxxxx

10

Well, just got back from my tests and the good news is it is a ‘complex abscess’, even if a somewhat large one. I have to go back next week to get the results of the fluid they removed to find out which antibiotics will help, and so all looks good, which is a huge weight off the mind.

Had an ultrasound which basically showed a mass of cysts (looked like 6 to my untrained eyes) which cover an area of 5 cm, and then lots of dead tissue around - at least that is how I think the doctor described it. He said if the antibiotics don’t work, then I would need to go back every week to have more fluid drained off, until it disappeared, but of course with being away this will be a bit tricky. But if the worst comes to the worst, I would rather pay to have this done privately over there, than to cancel the trip altogether, so I think that is what I will do. Just hoping the pain will subside before I have to fly.

Thank you for all the support, it has been a tough week, but so comforting to have been able to get messages on here. Hope that you all have a relaxing Christmas, and that 2009 will be a fantastic year for you and bring lots of good health to all those who have had a difficult 2008.

Best Wishes,

xx

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Fantastic news.Enjoy your holiday now.
Love Julie

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Hi Moose,
just got back an hour ago and wanted to check up on you and soooooooooo glad it is good news for you.
Had a fab time skiing the Alps over Christmas - just preparing to cook a belated Christmas dinner with all the trimmings!!
Enjoy your holiday and hope the pain subsides enough for you to enjoy yourself.
Take care
Love Clarabelle xx