Minds a fuzzy mess

Im 48, just an hour ago returned from my appointment to hear my treatment plan. Initially was told grade 2, its in fact 3. 18mm Had wle, all clear, no nodes involved  but sign of vascular invasion he said. Er and her2 positive.Suggested  treatment is hormone therapy. …herceptin (hope im getting the words correctly ),radiotherapy and chemo. I asked if chemo was necessary and he said "well obviously youll chat to an oncologist at your  next appointment and discuss it , but there are no guarantees at all, you may have no more cancer return ever,or you may, plus there’s no guarantee that the chemo will rid any cells anyway, so like all treatments itd be your decision as was the surgery "

How am I meant to “decide”? Im married with 3 kids, 21, 1o and 7…im watching my dad struggling and fighting through chemo every day, i haven’t even told him cos he said if i was  ever to be ill itd kill him literally, ! I couldn’t work either as i work in a special school,  weve booked a holiday for august,  i wont be able to go either.  Sorry to rant x

It was idc, forgot to say
Do oncologists push you towards chemo? Can i ask her if women in my situation refused it and are still ok? Will she be honest? X

Hi Tina, welcome to the forum although I’m sorry you have had to join us. Your oncologist will explain The reasons they recommend certain treatments , also it helps to write things down before you go as its all a bit over whelming and you can’t always remember to ask what you really want to at the time, as you are HER2 + then Chemo Would be recommended as you need Herceptin and that is only given with or after Chemo, of course what ever treatment you have isn’t compulsory and you can ask for your oncologist to give you an idea of reacurrance risk with or without Chemo, Its all a learning curve and you will get to grips with it all.

I’m sorry to hear your dad is going through it, life is very unfair! Xx Jo 

Hi Tina,  welcome to the forum although sorry you have found your way here. Firstly no wonder your minds feels fuzzy, you’ve had a life changing diagnosis with all that goes with it.  I can understand how you feel i am 48 with 2 10 yr olds, my idc (grade 2) although not her+, was supposed to be a small area that required surgery and radiotherapy that turned out to be 30mm with lv invasion that had buggered off to lymph nodes so chemo was raised and I was devastated,  we also had holiday  booked for August! 

The oncologist was very honest, went through the stats, pro’s and cons and strongly recommended chemo although he was very clear that ultimately the decision was mine. For me the fact that  he was so direct and the benefit were clear I didn’t feel I had to make a decision as such. I have had my first chemo  and although it’s not high on my wish list of things to do it was doable, there are many ladies on here who work in schools  and some have been able to carry on with some adjustments.

I am sorry about your dad your having a hard time all round,  rant away the forum is great for that  x

 

Thanks all. Its just that I’d been reading about some oncologists who will give herceptin without chemo or is this wrong. I just feel seeing as I’ve basically got no cancer now the chemos going to be zapping my healthy cells.x

Do people ever request more lymph nodes to be removed to see if there’s any involvement in them as a clearer indicator? X

I dont think its something you can request Tina but ask your Oncologist, I didnt question my treatment and just went with it but I didnt have Chemo, not sure about Having Herceptin without chemo, think it needs to be given alongside another drug but i may be wrong Xx

Tina come on to the just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand thread, there are ladies going through Chemo who may be able to help xx

I think Tina reading back through the thread that the best person to talk to would be your oncologist. Mine was very blunt, chemo is not something they take lightly. Also I know there is a need in all of us to take comfort from the fact some people have made the same decision and are OK. It’s the way we cope but you need to remember they might appear to have the same diagnosis as you, however everyone is unique and the person who will know your unique medical circumstances is your oncologist and the person who knows your personal circumstances is you.
As for the nodes they would suggest taking more away if there was any suggestion in the first tier of involvement.
We can drive ourselves nuts with over thinking. Remember you are unique. I have two friend undergoing chemo at the same stage 5 days apart at 2 different hospitals. The first one has a few trying days but gets through them and has never been sick or had major problems. The second really struggled with her first session and ended up in hospital. What she came away with then was a strategic plan to get her through the next one, different meds and stuff and it worked. The second time she’s been OK. I’m hopefully starting chemo soon (wound healing permitting) and as much as I hope I’ll be like the first lady I know I’ll have my own way of getting through.
I always thought herceptin had to be given with chemo. However I’m HER2- so not something I’ve looked into with much depth.
I work in a school and I love my job. I’m missing it like mad but have come to realise that for once I’m going to have to do as I’m advised. Luckily I haven’t booked a holiday yet but I’m sure if you speak to your oncologist they could start your treatment so your holiday would fall in your good weeks.
Good luck with whatever you decide. For me the right decision is to throw everything I can at it but that is my situation xxx