Morning @kateunlucky, you can call our freephone 0808 800 6000 until 4pm today. No question is too big or too small, and we can take things at your pace. 
Bernard
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Hi @kateunlucky as @Bernard_BCN, @Tigress and @naughty_boob have mentioned, please do call 0808 800 6000 anytime before 4pm today 
Lucy
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Hi, sorry you are going through a horrendous time, please reach out if you need help. The McMillan cancer line is very helpful, thereās also the Samaritans 24/7 on 116 123.
I took mirtazapine many years ago and it was by far the best antidepressant I have ever taken. Sadly I gained an enormous amount of weight with it, so had to come off it. It puts weight on most people. Antidepressants can be one personās saviour and anothers nightmare, sadly itās not possible to know until you take it.
I hope you get the help you need, Iāll be thinking of you x
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Just wanted to check in to see how you are @kateunlucky
Iāve just had some training in another volunteer role with the Samaritans and they were clear that they are there for anyone that needs help and someone to talk to 24/7
This is a quote from their website āWe offer a safe place for you to talk any time you like, in your own way ā about whateverās getting to you.
We wonāt judge you or tell you what to do, weāll listen to you.ā
Hi.
I am on 5th day of mitrazapine. I went up to 15mg yesterday. No improvement but no spike of anxiety. Mentally I am on free fall.
I had pet scan. Now another 2 weeks of waiting. The refused to give me results before appointment with oncologist. So on 20th February I will have 25 minutes to get the news and make decision. It is plain unhuman.
Yes, I know, I can ask for another appointment to have time butā¦ I do not have time.
After pet scan I have found enlarged lymph node in elbow area ( epitrochlear). I have tried to contact breast unit and oncology since yesterday but no one called back. Canāt believe how fast this cancer progressing.
I am losing my mind. I know no one belive but I am alone, no friends, no one. Reality is that I have that gut feeling - it is stage 4 and I will not have another birthday.
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Hi @kateunlucky
Thank you for posting. Sharing how you feel is really important.
I know the waiting is horrible, weāve all been there. Itās a bit cold today but maybe a bit of fresh air, listen to the birds, watch the wind in the trees. Not sure about the weather today in Bath but here on the Welsh border it was very cold this morning but the sky is a beautiful blue. I get a lot from appreciating the beauty of nature around us, I never used to notice it but every day I get so much from it.
Please tell your team when you go in that you are really anxious and struggling, Iām sure they wonāt rush you. I remember how frustrating it was in clinics that over run by hours but my team always gave everyone the time they needed. Sometimes the doctor would leave but a breast care nurse or clinical nurse specialist would ways stay and talk as long as needed.
You are still early days on your medication, when do you have a review of it. From people I know, they have usually been called back by the GP after 2/3 weeks to check how it is going.
Keep posting when you can
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Hi @kateunlucky, Iām sorry youāre going through a difficult time.
I know it feels like everything is happening at once. You mention you donāt have a family or people close to you - the people on this forum can be your friends during this time. You can share what youāre going through without fear or judgment, and our nursing team on freephone 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm) are always there.
We can take things at your own pace, and answer any questions you may have - no question is too big or too small.
Weāre here with you
Bernard
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