Mixed Bag

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Apologies for the essay in advance :smileyhappy:

I was diagnosed with 34mm, grade 2 Invasive Ductal BC at the end of May. My family took it really hard, I think more so because I’m under 40 so spent a month holding everyone together and being really positive about the prognosis and treatment planned with my WLE and SNB on the 30th June, a week and a half ago.

I went back to the hospital today to get the results of what was removed and it was all good news, clear margins and clear nodes. Yippee! Sigh of relief.

 

My surgeon, who is lovely and an up beat type of guy, asked if I was healing OK. Told him the two wounds were healing well, had no problems but had a pain at the top of my chest, under my collarbone which can get quite bad. My surgeons response to that, word for word, was. “Man up!”

 

I appreciate my surgeon hasn’t been at home with me over the last week and a half when I’ve had to just get on with life instead of resting because my husband can’t cope with having to do everything I do around the house and for the kids. He’s also not seen me in various degrees of pain and tiredness because I find it difficult to get comfortable and sleep. He’s also not aware of having to take a trip to A&E with my 14 year old last Friday by ambulance which ended up with both of us staying in overnight (in the stress of it all I forgot to grab my pain meds so had to be booked in myself so they could give me some paracetamol in the hospital while treating her) but the one thing I mentioned, the one thing that wasn’t on the list of pain to expect…and he tells me to man up like I’m a hypochondriac. I wont lie, it made me feel stupid and like the inners of a babies nappie.

 

I appreciate most people will presume I’m being over sensitive and that he meant it in a jokey manner, like my husband, but since this whole journey started two and a half months ago, I have never felt this low. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for what he has done but I figured some of you lovely ladies may understand the blow that it was.

OK, rant over. Sorry about that.

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Hi Mama-bear

I think surgeons forget they are dealing with real people at times!

But what I really want to do is tutt, and say ‘men’!! No idea!

I am not surprised you feel low. You’re coping with the diagnosis and recovering from surgery. You need as much support as possible. Give your BCN a call and talk things through with them.

Sending a hug xx

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Sending hugs MamaBear, don’t care if your surgeon was being ‘humerous’ - when he saw your reaction he could have rectified the situation and made you feel better.  I think you’ve done wonderfully well and it’s no surprise that all sorts of things will make you go under at this time, doesn’t matter that at other times you may have been able to cope - at this time you can’t. There are all sorts of ups and downs - don’t always try and be the strong one, sometimes you just have to let it all out.  I can well remember many ‘duvet days’ when I just hid in my bed, letting life wash over me, then felt better and able to cope again.  I’m now 2 years on, and can tell you that you will get there and put this behind you - but this is very early days for you, take time for you. :cathappy:xxx

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Man up! Really? What a plonker. I guess he’s past his sell by date if he can’t relate to patients better than that. You don’t need to apologise for your behaviour, or explain yourself . He on the other hand…and no, he’s not a nice guy! Hopefully you don’t need to see him again, if you do take some one with you. Fortunately not all are like him, thank goodness, and I’m really sorry you experienced that. Big hugs. X