Hi,
First post here on this Forum. I just want to tell my story. Sorry it’s a bit long 
I first noticed a hazelnut sized lump in my breast in March this year. In the meantime my farmer husband had been in hospital for 6 weeks (he was very ill) so my son had to quit his job and he and I had to look after our sheep and cattle (something hubby did by himself). Lambing was about to start and in my head I just couldn’t go to a Dr and be diagnosed with cancer and go through treatment as my sheep and cows and son needed me there! Hubby ended up being in hospital for 5 months. In June I finally saw my GP and I was quickly referred to the Breast Screening Unit, appt end of June, by this time my lump had grown to 5cm - like a large plum. The Consultant and Ultra Sound Doctor that saw me both thought it was a cyst and non-cancerous but biopsy proved otherwise. After 11 days wait I got the dreaded phone call.
I had a mixed pattern tumour, Metaplastic Carcinoma Grade 3 Stage 2 (because of its size) plus Herceptin positive. They saw no lymph node involvement. Dr said it was therapeutically challenging but the oncologist and clinical nurse specialist (CNS) would contact me in a few days. Thankfully by this time my husband was home, though recuperating. After this everything happened very fast and as I live 100 miles from the main hospital I’ve only had telephone contact with the oncologist and CNS. The oncologist said I needed 3 rounds of chemo and then another scan and the following week I received information (by mail) on the type of drugs I would be given - EC, Docetaxel, Trastuzumab and Pertuzumab plus G-CSF injection. 2 weeks after my diagnosis I started Chemo at the small local hospital. A nurse informed me about the side effects I would feel when being given the EC, saying I would feel like my face was exploding and I needed to drink iced water (to help prevent mouth ulcers). I think my brain was still in shock as I didn’t remember much more after that (when she descriptively put her hand to her a face and said “Whoosh” and “Boof”!). The first dose of EC wasn’t bad and my face did not explode (!) and they weren’t allowed to have ice so I was just given tap water (!). The next 2 cycles I brought in my own water full of ice cubes. My side effects were smelly diarrhoea, burp-alots, bone pain (from the Filgrastim inj) , sore dry eyes (eye gel helped), feeling dizzy, taste changes, insomia and fatigue, pimples on my scalp, brain fog, numbness in my feet and a few more.
My hair started falling out around day 10, my son cut it down to an inch as my scalp really hurt (no one told me this - got that info from a friend) and the following day we shaved it to about 3mm. I got a lovely wig which I only wore to my treatments. The loss of hair did not effect me emotionally as I thought it would and I put away all my hair gels, tongs, blow-dryer and sprays and bought scarves and bandanas to cover my naked scalp.
Before my third EC the nurse said I would get Docetaxel the following 3 cycles but after reading all the side effects plus my family’s heart history and my own high blood pressure and a very ominous gut-feeling I said NO. After discussion with oncologist (who sounded annoyed with me) and the CNS (lovely person) they spoke with my Consultant (very nice and approachable) who then phoned me. We agreed on my decision - a simple mastectomy. This is getting done mid-October. I also feel my breast has had it’s function - I breast fed my son for 16 months, I am past 60, they’re saggy fatty bags (I am overweight) and not a pretty sight (!). My husband, who has now improved quite a bit, agrees with my decision.
The lump in my breast is larger but I developed a very large swelling after the biopsy and that hasn’t really reduced much. This why I feel a full breast removal is better than a partial mastectomy or lumpectomy.
I am sort-of questioning my decision but at the same time thinking that my gut feeling (or intuition) was real as I was very anxious before I spoke with the Drs and Nurse, and I now feel so much more relaxed and happy. I was a Staff Nurse and have read several medical articles on Docetaxel and how it works and I am sure it is a good drug for many but it is not for me.
Now I am trying to find bras that’ll fit me after my mastectomy and be comfy at the same time - read a message on here about it so checking the websites suggested. Also planning to buy a recliner as I am a tummy or side sleeper and worried that I won’t be able to sleep on my back after my mastectomy as recommended. Maybe a hammock instead of a bed?!
I try to remain positive and also thankful that there are researchers and chemists out there that have developed pharmaceutical treatments for various types of cancer and continue to research. Also grateful that the NHS provides so much for us such as free wigs, cancer nurses and routine breast screening.
Thank you for reading this far xxx