Moving House - advice

I am really asking for a bit of support and encouragement here. We are moving house soon (if all the legalities pan out) and I am so full of anxiety about it I can hardly function. I cry at any little thing.

I wonder if anyone has any words of encouragement and/or advice to get thru it all? I haven’t moved house since 1997 so out of practice!

I had breast cancer 5 years ago and since then my coping mechanisms are shot to pieces. I can’t deal with stress at all. My husband is very laid back about it all, which infuriates me but I guess one of has to be!

I don’t really expect many answers (if any) but it helps to get it down in writing. Just wondered if anyone out there had been thru this recently and come out of it all laughing!

Sue, I havent been through it recently but agree it is a very stressful time. On the other hand it’s really exciting too and almost signifies a new start. Of you can get others to deal with the practicalities like packing then you can try and focus your mind on your lovely new house. You’ve obviously been through a lot with BC. Don’t let the house get you down. Hope all goes well.
Good luck
Polly xx

Are you doing it yourself or are you using a removal company?

Moving house is up there as being one of life’s top stressors so be easy on yourself. I moved in Jan 2010 from Australia so I do know how difficult is can be.

All the best with it. Diana x

We are most definitely using a removal company. I can’t imagine what it must be like moving from Australia. We are only going 3 miles up the road! And lucky enough to be going to a larger house, so it’s not a question of a quart into a pint pot. In fact, we won’t have enough furniture to begin with.

Thanks for the comments. I do know moving is one of life’s top stressors - and I firmly believe cancer is linked to stress. After all, stress diminishes the immune system and it’s that system that keeps cells in good shape. I must try and find a way of getting thru this that doesn’t involve wine!! Again, I appreciate the replies.

Sue - I’m in the middle of chemo and moving in 2 weeks. I’ve been packing slowly for the past month but it’s all proving to be a struggle. We’ve been here all our married life so there has been a lot to de-clutter. Freecycle and the local charity shop have definitely gained.

I’m doing my own packing - I had Pickfords pack for me once and it was a nightmare at the other end as I had no idea what was in each box marked (e.g.) ‘kitchen’. I was unwrapping stuff on the first day that wasn’t needed for weeks.
I mark them “open today” “open in first week” or “no rush” plus write what is *actually* inside them.

We are moving quite a few miles (next county) so using a proper firm with pantechnicon as it all has to go in one journey and I ain’t up to doing much. The firm will dismantle beds and re-assemble at the other end - a big worry removed!

We got the offer on ours the same week I got my DX - but I wanted to go ahead as we have been planning this for 3 years.

Good luck

We moved after I had completed chemo and rads, as I wanted to be nearer my son. As we were downsizing we did a lot of decluttering,donated loads to charity!Packed everything slowly and marked every box with what was in it and where I wanted it.The removal guys were great as they knew I was unable to lift, and nor was my oh due to heart condition.
They went ahead while we stayed to clean the house and say goodbye to friends.
My son met the removals at the other end and we arrived to find the van unloaded,all the furniture set out in the right rooms and the bed put together.Even had tea and sandwiches waiting for us.
Had been really stressed and thought we had taken on too much.My biggest worry was continuing with treatment in a new area,at a different hospital.
We are so pleased we moved,even if it was 150 miles.It is so much easier for me in a flat.I really miss my garden but we both were unable to cope with it any longer.I am 5 minutes from the beach and 20 minutes away from my son and his new wife.
Moving was the best decision we ever made.We love were we are and life is now less stressful.
I am sure once you have everything sorted and you are in your new home everthing will feel different.Just try not to overdo things and take things easy unpacking.You do not need everything the day you move in,take your time.
Good luck and enjoy your new home.
L xx

Hi SueBee

You’ll be fine - it might be a bit chaotic for a while, but that’s an excuse not to do housework, so make the most of it! It’s also an excuse for not cooking fabulous meals and getting a takeaway instead, not having time to do all the ironing… You get the idea!

We had spent 3 years planning building work on our house, developing designs, getting planning permission etc. We moved out of our house into a rented place in March 2010 so the building work could happen, and bingo - I was DX’d with BC in July 2010! I took it as an opportunity to supervise the builders when I felt well enough. I think they ended up more upset that I’d got BC than I was!

We’ve moved a number of times (about 8 times in 20 years!) and have learnt that the most important thing is to allow LOTS and LOTS of time before you move, to got through all your stuff and throw out or take to charity, or recycling, all the junk that you will have accumulated over the years. We all underestimate just how much rubbish we’ve got and HOW LONG IT TAKES TO SORT THROUGH IT ALL! Before our first house move we did 14 trips to the tip with a large estate car full each time. The reason I emphasise this is that otherwise you will be paying a removal firm to shift loads of stuff that you don’t actually want or need, and if you move it with you, you won’t know what to do with it at the new house - and that’s surprisingly stressful. Dealing with it in a planned way before the move reduces the stress.

And despite what some others have said, I always get the removal firm to pack everything, but unpack it ourselves so we know where we’ve put things - but get family or friends to help unpack otherwise it’s very tiring.

I hope this helps and doesn’t make you feel more stressed!

Sarah x

Hi Again Sue Bee

I agree with all CheshireCheese said about sorting out and what Ninja said too about labelling the boxes.

Make sure you pack a labelled box with a kettle, tea bags cups/mugs etc so you can sit down and have a cup of tea when the removalists have gone. If the guys are unpacking for you it won’t be a problem but if they’re not you don’t want to have to go searching.

When the packers came to me there was 5 of them and much as I tried to ensure the boxes were labelled so that they made sense to me I could not be in 5 places at once to supervise. The only boxes that I knew the exact contents of were those I labelled myself. So try and do what Ninja suggested re “open today” “next week” etc.

I rented for six months then renovated for another few months and I still have not fully unpacked. My loft is full of unpacked boxes and my dining area is full of things to go to auction, charity shops etc. I thought I had thrown alot out but I could have done better. My house sold much more quickly than I had anticipated (no complaints there) so I ran out of time. Be ruthless!!

Yes it will be chaotic and a great excuse not to do housework and have take aways as Sarah says but it will be exciting too. At least you know where you are going to and that you will have more space. You wont have to unpack it all at once.

Have fun. Diana x

Oh aye, planning. We’ve been de-cluttering for a whole 3 years but have still been surprised how much was left.

Trying to persuade OH that 10 rucksacks is too many for 2 people is proving to be a problem right now.
He did agree that we didn’t need 5 sets of ladders, though. Freecycle has been great.

I understand the OH thing Ninja.
My OH goes to the tip and comes back with stuff, He is trying to sort out his stuff which takes up the garage, THREE sheds, lean-to he’s built in the narrow space at the side of our house, the loft and our box room. He also regularly fills our caravan which has to be emptied when we go away.
Fortunately we are not moving,but he has decided he must clear some stuff out. I discovered he has a whole box full of bulk head lights - why? Apparently some idea he had for the millennium! Never used and we have nowhere to use them. He is steeling himself to get rid of them! I’ll sell them on e-bay.
He is trying to clear enough space in the largest shed which he calls a cabin so he can get an old settee (which should have been thrown away) in it.
We also have several tents, but only 6 rucksacks. Camping equipment is also used by our son.

Any way SueBee - enough of my rambling. Good luck with the move. I only finshed active treatment a few weeks ago, but I definitely find my coping strategies are not what they were. I used to fit a lot into my life, but have to do less now. Physically I have my stamina back, but mentally I have to do less.

Stella xx

A suggestion, don’t know if this will be practical as it depends when you’re moving out and others are moving in.

If you can, get a quote from a cleaning company so that you don’t have to go round the place on your hands and knees. I have had rented houses and had to get them properly cleaned after slobby tenants didn’t bother, and the cleaning companies do a terrific job. That’s one thing I really hated most about moving, so might be worth speaking to them. I know it can seem expensive, but thinking about the stress of having to go round cleaning as well as packing and moving is one thing you may be able to hand off.

Good luck, moving house is a nightmare, even for the smoothest of moves. And who has ever had one of THOSE!?

Thanks so much for all the kind advice and suggestions - a lot to digest! I am trying to keep reasonably calm as I am mindful of the fact that stress can cause cancer to recur, I firmly believe that. To the ladies who moved either during or around chemo, you have my open mouthed admiration. I could barely function during mine!

Re cleaning, am trying to keep house clean for the duration so there will be less to do on the day. Luckily it’s a small house (we’re moving to one with 2 more bedrooms!) so not too hard to keep clean though moving beds/furniture can unearth horrors I know.

I do appreciate all the replies.

Sue - great cat picture!

hi sue,

a new house? fabulous, you may have some good memories where you are now, but a new home will enable you to put all the bad ones i.e dianosis etc, behind you,

a new house, a new start,

just chill and go with the flow, let the removal company do as much as possible, and make a list of everyone you need to inform, get rid of anything you dont need, and there you are,

all the very best, love and best wishes Liz xxx

Thanks Elizabeth, you make it sounds so easy! We are just this week having our mortgage valuation done so I just hope NatWest agree the mortgage. They seem to have taken ages. But you’re right about putting memories behind me, even tho the BC was 6 years ago.

Not about moving, but I had a new kitchen started to at the beginning of June which isn’t finished yet as 2 plasterers have let us down. We haven’t been able to use the front room in all this time as kitchen stuff is boxed up in there we need to hold onto; also a sofa that’s going into the new kitchen/dining area is upended behind the door in there. We are pretty much living upstairs and as we also work from home I just feel everything is getting on top of me. I’m writing copy for a client’s new website at the moment and am having to drag myself into my office. The garden is a wilderness as the weather has been so bad we can’t get out to tidy it. We know the tradesman who was handling everything (his wife is a customer of ours) and we were under the impression he was getting a team together to do this job, but it’s been a constant drip of piece work, guys turning up at 5 pm for a few hours after being on another job etc. He also had to sack the guy who was working with him as he damaged some door handles and one of the plinths which had to be replaced. The rest of the handles were on squint and had to be repositioned. I could scream, OH is now having to take time to do the plastering himself at the weekend as we figure it’s the only way it will get done so we can decorate.

To add to the woes I have a gynae problem that’s worrying me and I’m going into hospital for a hysteroscopy next week to rule out anything serious. Last weekend my OH went into anaphylactic shock brought on by a painkiller for his back and he nearly ended up in the local HDU after being given adrenalin. Talk about wanting to run away for a bit…

The only bit of good news is I’ve managed to let out a flat I bought in the lead up to BC that we then couldn’t afford to renovate for 3 years. I could have moved in as it’s luxury compared to my house at the moment!