Well, possibly.
Me and OH have been planning on selling our two houses (he lives with me, but needs to sell his) and get a house that is ‘ours’ for a while. BC and not being able to try for a family has meant we want to concentrate on the house thing for the next couple of years.
I stupidly sent my parents a link to a house I really like locally, which is slightly out of our range… they have said they will help us get it. I suppose I sent it knowing that they might do that, and now I feel partly guilty, partly grateful. They can well afford it - they own 5 properties as it is (main home, holiday home in Devon, holiday home in Mallorca and two rental properties)- and go on 4-5 holidays a year, often to places like New Zealand/Aus, Canada and various cruises. Apart from that, they don’t live extravagant lifestyles. I am hoping they have a good 20 years left on this planet (they are 64 and 65) so inheritance is a way off yet, but one day my brother and I will get a fair bit coming our way.
However, I am quite proud, so I don’t like accepting their handouts and like to earn my own way and only buy what I can afford.
I can’t work out whether they are helping me because we all have, in the back of our mind, that my life might be shortened by BC so I should enjoy the things I want while I can. My mum also had BC, but it wasn’t as agressive or at such a young age as me.
I also can’t help but think about what my OH would do if I do die sooner rather than later. I’m one year past diagnosis, got my first annual mammogram next week, but I know that with my diagnosis the chances of recurrence are higher than many.
I think all these things, but on the other hand we are planning our future, hoping to be able to try for children again in 18 months, so I am continuing to live my life. But I suppose it just brings thoughts of our mortality to the surface a bit more.
Not sure what response I want, just needed a place to write and think about this stuff.
xxxxx