Mum diagnosed last week - I'm the sole carer



My mum was diagnosed last week after the result of a biopsy, following a routine mammogram.  They found the lump 3 years ago and said it was nothing to worry about, but this time they did a biopsy and told her it that contains cancer cells and she would need a wide local exision and probably radiotherapy.  The doctor said she couldn’t find it anywhere else and checked under her arms using ultrasound.


Gradually we’re coming to terms with the news but it has been a terrible shock.


She received a call from her consultant’s secretary yesterday saying she will be booked in for an MRI - is this normal? I’m terrified they suspect there’s more.


Its just me and mum in this really.  I have a partner to help me, but she is divorced and has no-one else.  All mum is worried about at the moment is getting to radiotherapy.  I work full-time and my boss has said I can have time off to get her to the pre-op appointments, operation and help her recover, but my mum was told the radiotherapy would be 5 days a week for 5 weeks and its a 60 mile round trip.  It looks like I’ll have to ask work if I can go part-time so I can get her to the hospital and back.


I’m starting to feel quite overwhelmed as I’m meant to be moving house next week, and work is always busy.

Dear Amandaf

Welcome to the forum although I’m sorry you’re having to come to terms with this news.

You might find it helpful to call our Helpline to talk things over.  They will be able to offer you practical information and emotional support.  The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays.  The number is 0808 800 6000

Very best wishes


BCC Moderator

Hi Amandaf, sorry to hear of your Mum’s diagnosis. Lots of women have an MRI scan as part of their investigations. With regard to the radiotherapy, have you enquired about hospital transport for your Mum? I believe it is provided in some areas although the down side is that your Mum would probably be out most of the day. Some hospitals have accommodation where people can stay during their treatment if they live a distance away. Think you just need to make some enquiries as to what assistance is available. Have a look at the cancer research uk page on “having external radiotherapy” they have a lot of information there. Best wishes to you and your Mum Pat x

Hi Amanda

sorry to hear about your mum,

I am going to have a 60 mile each way trip for rads.

the hospital will provide transport or they have a flat to stay in but I’m going to travel

the red cross also help with transport and you pay petrol money.

the Macmillan fund also give grants to help with travel costs.

speaking to others who have finished their treatment they said travelling together provided support so maybe the hospital can help by giving her apointment times with others who live nearby and arranging transport.


its great you have time off for the appointments.


Dont be afraid to ask for help, 


Take care







Hi Amanda, 


I’m so sorry and I can completely relate to what you’re feeling. My situation is similar to yours - Mum is divorced and I’m the sole carer. I found out last week but she’s still undergoing tests to check where and if it’s spread before they decide on treatment. I have a partner who’s been great but this is just the beginnng and I’m not doing a good job of holding it together at all. 


How are you doing now and what type of breast cancer does your mother have? (if you don’t mind me asking). 


I hope things have gotten someway better for you since you posted this, I know how gut wrenching it feels.