For the past few weeks my dear Mum has been treading the well-worn path to receiving a breast cancer diagnosis. She went for the results of her biopsy yesterday, my Dad went with her, but neither of them can remember anything much about what they were told.
I’m naturally really worried about her, and I wonder if the treatment plan she’s been told she’s likely to follow sounds typical. She’s got to go for an MRI, then will have a follow up with an oncologist the following week and it sounds like she’ll be starting out with chemo, followed by surgery and radiation. She’s also been told that treatment will be a year.
She thinks they said it was a slow-growing cancer, but she also said it was Grade 3, which I’m not sure is right?
I’m also freaking out that they’re looking for metastasis with the MRI.
I’m really trying to stay calm and positive for her sake (and my daughter who is upset by the news) but internally I’m panicking and I thought I’d come here for some reassurance.
Just also want to add, that the support, knowledge and kindness that I’ve seen on this forum since I’ve been lurking (a few weeks now), is wonderful x
Hi, sorry to read about your mum. It is a difficult time. They pathway you describe seems about right. I also had an MRI scan after diagnosis and believe it is just to double check things. Your mum will be assigned a breast care nurse and she can phone them for clarification. You can also contact the nurses on this forum who will great help and advice.
Hope all goes well x
Firstly, welcome to the forum - I’m so glad that you’ve been finding it helpful as you navigate your Mum’s diagnosis. It really is a wonderfully supportive place.
I’m so sorry to hear what you, your Mum, and your family are going through, this must be so difficult as you try and be there for her and for your own daughter, while also processing your own emotions.
If your Mum is confused, I would really recommend her ringing her breast cancer nurse, or the person she had an appointment with yesterday. They should have her notes and be able to recount what she was told. For any future appointments it may help if she takes a long a notebook and pen, or if someone attending with her does.
My understanding is that the MRI scan will provide more information about the size and location of the cancer so aid decision about surgical options. Plus, if your Mum is having chemo before surgery, it is likely she will have a further MRI during the treatment to assess if it is working. They can compare it to the pre treatment MRI to see if the tumour has reduced in size. X
Thanks poorlyBoob. I think my mum might not want to know all the info at this stage but I would like to know as much as possible (just so I can give her the right guidance too). The consultant said she’d put it all in a letter, so we’ll know soon enough x
How old is your mother @mum-a-lums30? If you can bear it, I think it is a good idea to be the lynchpin with regard to the treatment plan and path for her. I have a very dear friend aged 50 who just cannot bear to know any information about her diagnosis or treatment but her husband is fully across all of it and makes sure he can reassure her that everything is being done, remind her of her appointments and answer basic questions as they occur. It does help. It might be something to consider if you have the time to go to appropriate appointments, like results sessions with her so you can take notes and ask questions of the medics. That way your father can concentrate on being moral support. I’m so sorry that she and you are going to have to go through this. I was a carer for my mother who lived with dementia so I understand somewhat the stress and upset of seeing your beloved mother going through an ordeal.
I would recommend your Mum and Dad record all their appointments on a phone. You dont take in everything that is said and it is so helpful to go over it when you are not so sressed at the hospital. Its good that your Mum is getting a letter explaining everything. If your parents agree, perhaps they would be happy for you to go along to the consultants appointments as well. The first weeks of diagnosis and starting your treatment plan are the worst. My best wishes to you all going forward.
Hi @mum-a-lums30 so sorry about your mum’s diagnosis and what you’re going through as a family. I’m hoping to provide some reassurance based on my own experience.
I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer which was grade 3. After my diagnosis, I had a number of other scans which, like you, I assumed were to check for metastasis. It’s such a scary time, but it does also help you realise the extent of what you’re dealing with and, as someone else has mentioned, the further breast scans act as a baseline against which to compare future scans.
I had chemo first, so called, ‘neo-adjuvant chemotherapy’ (I also had simultaneous immunotherapy due to my cancer’s triple negative status). It shook me too at first, and I just couldn’t understand why surgery wasn’t the first step. However, in hindsight, it makes sense (in my case, the chemo was given to shrink the cancer before surgery) and I realised neoadjuvant chemo is not uncommon. It can also mean you have more options when it comes to surgery.
I hope you get the information you need soon. I’m happy to answer any specific further questions you might have. Sending strength xx
Hi there Tigress, my mum is 73, so an older lady in years but not in mindset! She’s asked me to go with her to her oncology appointment next week which I will gladly do. I’m hoping that we don’t get any further bad news from the MRI (aren’t all the tests anxiety inducing!) I’m trying to stay positive but the mind spirals.
I’ve now found out that her tumour is 2.5 cm, Grade 3, HER2+ so this explains the need for neoadjuvant chemo. I’ve been watching Liz O’Riordan’s videos on the HER2+ aspect and it seems that there are very targeted treatments available.
We’re trying our best to stay positive and to take each step as it comes!
Thank you Mimi. Sorry to hear of your own diagnosis, I hope you’re doing well and recovering from your treatments. I’ve realised that you almost need a crash course in Breast cancer when someone you love is diagnosed. My mum is HER2+, grade 3 with a 2.5cm tumour so all the scans are nerve-wracking but necessary. It’s a scary time and I can’t even imagine how she feels atm xx
Yes you’re right whether it’s yourself or a loved one you do kind of need to give yourself a crash course in Breast Cancer . I hope everything goes as well as possible at Oncology next week and that there are no more unpleasant surprises in store. It can be hard as a daughter when rolls are reversed and you suddenly end up being the one in charge - though it doesn’t sound as though this is quite the case here. Your Mum is lucky to have you but please get some support for yourself if you need it . Xx
