I’m usually the strong one in the family. She has just been told she has cancer, had more tests as she Los has cells around the cancer they have had to test before giving her results on Tuesday and what operation and what treatment. She’ll have, is this normal?
I also trying to stay strong, she had anxiety a few years ago, my dad is strong but he’s very soft inside and my brother is in the army so finds it hard as he knows he won’t always be able to get back to see my mum. So I seem to have took the role of the strong family member.
Tbh I think I’m still numb! Until the results Tuesday. I’m soooo worried they will say its spead and she’ll die!
I’m trying to keep busy. We have 3 small children, my partners mum died 2 years ago to liver cancer, so he’s really supportive!
Not sure if any of you can also help but I’m trying to do a list for my mum of ppl they need to call, like home insurance, life insurance, ppi, little woods, more to keep me busy and to help them as I know these things need doing but I’ve no idea who they actually need to call!?
Hi K3lly1985 , welcome to the forums where you will find support from your fellow users
In addition, please feel free to call our helpliners for further practical and emotional support, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000 and you and your Mum are welcome to call
You may both find the BCC ‘Just diagnosed’ information pages helpful and you can access this here :
Hello K3lly,
I am so sorry that your mum has had a cancer diagnosis. It is such a shock when you here the ‘C’ word spoken about a loved one.
It is early days and normal for the specialists to carry out further tests to establish exactly what type of cancer they have to deal with.
Please take a couple of deep breaths and do not let your mind jump too far ahead. When I was told I had cancer my mind went into overdrive and I feared the worst. It is only natural but it does help if you can take one day at a time.
Breast cancer treatment today is incredible thanks to all the medical advancements that have occurred in the past 20 years. The management of breast cancer and survival rates have increased significantly.
My advice would be to get the BCC booklets suggested as these will be most helpful to you in supporting your mum. Stay calm until your mum gets her results because then she will know exactly what type of cancer she has and her recommended treatment plan.
Once you have the results and treatment plan it becomes much more manageable.
Delay writing lists of companies to inform until you know the full picture.
At this stage only close family need to know.
The only company I told immediately was my travel insurance because I had two holidays planned which needed to be cancelled and I needed to reclaim the costs of air tickets and accommodation.
It will be stressful waiting for the results, all the ladies on here will tell you the waiting is the worst part.
I want to send your mum best wishes and good luck for Tuesday.
I am sure other ladies will come along soon to offer their advice and I hope you will find it helpful.
From my own experience, take baby steps and deal with one day at a time. Nothing is gained by looking too far into the future with negative thoughts.
Peace and Positivity,
M (big hug)
It is hard to stop my mind from racing. My other half lost his mum in 2012, I lost my aunt in 2010 to cancer and my other aunts had ovarian and breast. Cancer, but survived.
She showed me her boob again tonight, where it’s dimpled in, as my aunt who had bc was round. She asked me to feel the lump wi I knew what it felt like and what to look for, but I couldne. I couldn’t touch the cancer, the horrid thing!
My aunt showed us her scar, she had a 10mm cancer grade 2, and had nodes removed but just the lump as it was at the edge of her breast, my mums in the middle so she fears a full mastectomy! She also only had radio therapy, but did tell my mum to expect chemo.
Just hoping Tuesday it’s the best news we can get in this awful situation!!
Glad I have fount this forum. Feel awful crying in front of my partner as although I know hs supportive I know it may bring it all back for him and his mum…
