Mum Newly Diagnosed After A Rollercoaster of a Ride.

Friends and family Supporting someone with breast cancer
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Hi everyone. 

My mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer after a rollercoaster of a month. I live and work with my husband in South Korea and a few weeks ago my mum told me she had an open womb lump on her breast that had got infected and the intial biopsy came back positive for cancer cells. She was immediately sent off for further tests including a body scan, bone scan and another bisopy. My husband and I got on a plane (actually 2) and rushed back to be with her when she got her results. My father died when I was little and I have no siblings. The results came in and she was told they were clear and the biopsy wasnt showing cancer cells but theyd take a third one just for precuationary purposes but not to worry they were 100% sure. We were elated and a few days later I happily got on the planes back and tried to get back into my routine. Last week my mum was told that they had made another mistake and that she does have a cancerous lump in a breast. They didn’t say it was agressive and they put her on the hormone Letrezole to begin shrinking it ready to take lump out and also to top spreading. She has now had a bone density scan to measure effect of hormone tablets on bone and is due for MRI this weekend before meeting an oncology doctor next week. Her breast doctor is seeing her in 4 weeks.  With all the misdiagnosis I feel like I am going crazy and am filled with anger. She also has bi polar disorder so I’m even more angry at them for not being careful. I am stuck in Korea until August when my contract finishes, unfortunately I also have a dog and because of UK rules, it takes that long to prepare paperwork/blood tests to bring him back. I feel beyond useless, uninformed and guilty about being half way across the world especially because I have no siblings. My mum does have good friends and my in laws are going round regulary. She also has been going to all appointments with my aunt (non blood) who has had agressive breast cancer and beat it. My mum wants me to stay with my husband especially because it looks like not much is happening in the next month. The doctor has said he wants to shrink the lump and then take it out. My husbands nan had same procedure and is now fine 5 years later (she didnt have radiation only hormone tablets). I am just worried about every step because getting information out of my mum is like squeezing water out of a rock, her method to cope with her mental illness is to push things to the back of her mind and avoid talking about them which I undersrand but without being in the country to ask the doctor (and to kick his ass) myself I feel even more stressed as I’m the type of person who likes all the info and sometimes more info can ease worry I think. I’ve figured out the MRI is to determine the size of her lump for breast conserving treatment (lumpectomy) but I don’t know what the oncology doctor appt next week is for? Can anyone tell me what to expect? I feel so crazy being stuck here. 

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Hi Saranghea and welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure you will find the support and information you are looking for, in addition our helpliners are on hand for your Mum/you with practical and emotional support on 0808 800 6000 and lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays

BCC can offer further support and information which you and your Mum can read about via this link:

breastcancercare.org.uk/diagnosis

Take care
Lucy BCC

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Hi, I can on,y tell you what has happened on my journey with regard the tests, so here goes

From the biopsy they will be able to determine which cancer it is, so maybe ask your mum what the surgeon has told her. If they are giving her Letrozole it sounds like hormone fed mine is Oestrogen Receptor Positive (ER+). They will know from a mammogram or ultrasound the lumps size. It is common to be given the hormone tablet to reduce a lump. The surgeons automatically arrange an oncology appointment once there is a diagnosis of cancer. She will meet with the oncologist who, depending on whether the surgeon has recommended radiotherapy also to reduce the lump. The MRI is to determine if there is any cancer in the other breast also or to determine if it is a single lump.

if I read your post correctly it sounds like they are going to do a lumpectomy, they may also remove the first node/s to see if it has travelled into the nodes, this also can be picked up on the MRI.

Some women are lucky and only have hormone tablets, radiotherapy and don’t need chemo I understand the chemo is if it has travelled to the lymph nodes.

My story in short is: routine mammogram, called back for another plus biopsy and ultrasound. 10mday wait for results when surgeon said it is ER+ and has travelled to the first node. I had surgery the next week to remove the lump and lymph node, unfortunately they found 2 more tumours and one was invasive so had chemo then after 6 months had another op to get clear margins and remove all the remaining lymph nodes then 4 weeks radiotherapy.

She will be allocated a breast care nurse and the oncology team and surgeon should copy her in on any letters sent to each other and the GP. If this doesn’t happen she can ask - it is her right to have a copy of all communication. Her GP will be copied in on all letters so she could ask them it would be easier to get back copies. It sounds like your aunt is the best person to go with her while you aren’t there as she will know what to ask.

Skype or facetime will be your best friend through all this while you are away so you can “see” how she is doing.

Read the posts on this website and you can ask anything no matter how trivial you think it is someone will always have an answer. I don’t think you are restricted to just the family forum - perhaps the Moderators on here can confirm please

You will get a lot of support here.

Hope I have helped
Michelle