I was wondering if I could get some advice. My mum is 48 and has recently had two surgeries on her right boob to remove cancerous cells. She is lucky that she has been able to keep her breast, but she is very upset about how it looks. I keep explaining that she is still healing and the surgeon has said that she can have them reshaped etc. Anyways, the bras she has to wear are rather boring and she has been told to wear loose fitting tops. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for her to lose such a huge aspect of what makes her a woman. She is about to begin three weeks of radiotherapy - they said they got it all in the second op and this is to try and keep it away - and this is obviously going to have quite an impact on her too. We’re a low income family and it’s so difficult to find decent underwear that may boost her confidence and make her feel better about herself. It’s her birthday on the 28th, by which point she’ll be halfway through her treatment, and I want to take her out for lunch and shopping for some tops and bras that might make her feel more feminine and confident. Do you have any suggestions on the underwear front? When I Google search, it comes up with mastectomy bras. Is this the kind of thing I’m after? At the moment she’s wearing childlike, plain, white, cotton, non-underwired ‘things’. Do you also have any suggestions for how I can support her/make her feel better during radiotherapy? I’m not really sure what to expect as I know it’s not like chemotherapy… Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Hi EmsLF. I’m afraing being a bloke I can’t offer too much help on the underwear front, but my wife also had two ops to get adequate clearance. She is also shaped differently to previously, but I like her new shape as it means I get to keep her.
Radiotherapy’s biggest thing is tiredess, not least because it is daily trips to the hospital. My wife was also advised E45 lotion.
Paul.
Hello Ems,
I am 49 and my daughter is 20 so we are the other way round. It is so lovely of you to take the time to come on here and have the concern about your Mum , she will know that you love her very much . I had a full mx with immediate reconstruction so I always wear a T Shirt bra from M&S now, they are soft and very comfortable and come in all colours, often in a pack of two that makes it more affordable. The girls at work got me some Elemis creams and lotions but they are very expensive so I would recommend a good quality body lotion, there are lots to choose from that are much much cheaper. I like any cream to keep my scar nice and supple. After my op I found that a loose fitting blouse was better for me than a Tshirt or anything I had to pull over my head so you could perhaps explore this option. I also decided to wear PJ’s during my treatment as again I found it much easier. For your Mums Birthday you could get her a small selection of things, instead of one expensive item, her favourite magazine, flowers or a plant, some body lotion and hand cream and Yes a few chocolates. I like the idea that you are planning to meet your Mum and take her out for lunch, that will boost her confidence and I hope you manage to have a lovely time.
Sending you both love and hugs Tracy xxx
Hi Emslf,
Agree with Tracy, so good that you are being so supportive.
Like your Mum I haven’t had a mastectomy, just a lumpectomy and node clearance. She probably wont need a mastectomy bra, just good supportive bras, or sports bras (not too tight fitting). I got quite a nice one, black trimmed with pink, in Primark, so no need to spend a fortune. Underwired bras will probably be too uncomfortable for some time yet. Belvia bras (online) are also good, but dont by the cheaper more inferior version from JML (been there done that)
My radiotherapist also recommended Aqueous cream, he actually said E45 is expensive Aqueous cream, in fact you could probably get your GP or practice nurse to give her a prescription for it, as mum shouldnt be paying for any prescriptions for the next five years.
Best wishes to you and your mum xx
Rads made me very tired. An indescribable tiredness that just lands like a brick one day. I’d feel like EVERYTHING required a massive effort, and maybe next day I felt not so bad. It sort of comes and goes in waves. Any help around the house during the 3 weeks of rads and for up to 2 weeks after, - as the side effects carry on getting worse for that long! - would be very helpful. Also help with transport or keeping her company during the daily drudge to rads.
I found my WLE (lump removal operation - in February 2012) very upsetting at first, but the scars have settled down a lot now, and I’ve got used to my dented boob, grateful that I’ve still got it at all.
As to buying bras at the moment, it may be an idea to wait, as many ladies find it very uncomfortable to wear ANY bra at all during rads, because the skin can feel quite tender (like sunburn). During rads, I only wore a bra (with an extender on so it was a bit looser than usual) when I was going out of the house. At home, I wore loose fitting cotton t-shirts to let the air circulate. I’m quite big-busted, so don’t usually like going braless - but it was the most comfortable way for me - (just not in public!)
Perhaps the lovely lingerie can wait until the scars and rads damage have healed - something to look forward to for the ‘new mum’?
Aqueos cream is dead cheap - I bought a massive tub for £2.50 a couple of weeks before rads and slathered it on several times a day. It is one of the only things you are allowed to put on the skin that will have the rads. I’m still using it up now, 10 months on - it’s great on dry skin! Apparently you can also get it in poundland and other such places! If you want something a bit more special, some hospitals recommend pure aloe vera cream, to soothe the skin, but I was advised NOT to get it unless I needed it (I didn’t) as it is expensive.
My birthday fell in the middle of my rads (April) and the appointment just happened to be a bit later that day, so we (OH & I) went to the pub for lunch on the way to the hospital, which really made up for having to be zapped on my birthday! Don’t be upset if your mum does not have energy for shopping, though, it will come back. Give her time.
Thank you all so much! It has really helped to read about what it’s really like rather than an NHS version of it. There are definitely lots of options there
Hi Ems. My skin got quite red and sore (although I had rads to the collar bone area too, which your mum may not?) anyway my friend bought me a lovely soft silk scarf from a charity shop which felt nice and gentle against my skin and disguised the redness (and the lack of bra, I could drape it under a V neck top etc.) another friend would send me text messages and jokes to read while I was waiting, because I’d worked my way through the magazines by week two! Unperfumed soap is essential too. Would your mum relax listening to music? You could put all her favourites onto a cd or whatever she likes to use. As a mum I’d say it’s the thoughtfulness behind what you do, rather than the cost of it, that counts most.
Great ideas, thanks 
Somehow I never got on with aquous cream. I cannot recommend 99.9% Aloe Vera Gel (it must be 99.9%) highly enough. I used this liberally throughout rads and had no problems at all. Aloe Vera gel is not expensive and it goes a long way. I got two (it was buy one get one free) and only used 2/3 of one of them!!
Asda sports bras were my salvation, really cheap (about£4) and really comfy and not bad looking. About seven weeks after Rads I was back in my underwired pre op bras. I do agree though, while at home go braless!! I managed to find some tops that were gathered around the boob area which disguised my uneveness.
As has been said it is after the Rads have finished that the tiredness kicks in. It’s really weird, from being fine one minute to GOT to sit down and rest the next. Try to make sure that your Mum eats healthily, it’s so easy when feeling tired to just make a sandwich and not a proper meal.
Thanks She’s a bu**er for not eating properly lately anyways, so I’ll try to get her to eat a decent meal when I pop down. And it’s good to know that the helpful products don’t have to cost the earth
Hi EmsLF,
It’s a long time since I had my rads, but at the time my niece bought me a silk camisole. It felt very soothing, and I really appreciated the thougtht. If your mum can manage to get a vest over her head, there are some on Amazon for around £12 - £20. The less expensive one has good reviews.
Thanks
Your mum should be able to get the cream on prescription which is free for her. I was recommended xclare cream by my breast care nurse, expensive but can get on prescription. I havent tried it as haven’t started rads yet but have doc appointment next week to get the prescription.
Take care
jayne x